


Make Us Meaningless Again

by charliescastiel



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-17
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-02-25 16:59:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 72,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2629364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charliescastiel/pseuds/charliescastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Knowing the "stench of public schools" is his worst nightmare, Sebastian's father sends him to McKinley as a punishment for staying out one time too many. At first, his sole mission is to convince his father to send him back to Dalton, but after seeing the one and only Kurt Hummel in a cheerios uniform, things might start to get a little more interesting for him.</p><p>Set in the month gap between the airing of 3.14 On My Way and 3.15 Big Brother and will continue weaving in canon events for the rest of the season.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an updated and revised version of the fic I started in the summer of 2013 which was posted on ff.net. My writing has improved a lot since then so I'm re-uploading it here and updating it over there too.   
> It's the first fic I ever wrote and it's still not finished. But it is far from abandoned and I'm working on the frequency of my updates. I promise.  
> Reviews, compliments and criticisms are heavily encouraged and as always the biggest thank you in the world to my wonderful beta, Lori. I hope you enjoy.

It happened a week ago.

His father arrived home from work late on a Friday evening and ruined Sebastian's life. It went a little like this.

"You can't make me do anything I don't want to, I'm nearly eighteen."

"But you're not quite eighteen yet. And whilst you still live under my roof, you'll follow my rules." He paused. "I'm your father. I'm also a state's attorney. I know how you like to use that to your advantage when it benefits you." Sebastian's father looked down sternly upon his son but a smile broke out a moment later. To anyone else, it would have looked friendly, but it terrified Sebastian.

Sebastian scoffed. "I have rights."

"Sebastian don't even try to play innocent, it doesn't suit you. Your behaviour is unacceptable and you're lucky we haven't kicked you out already."

"Oh c'mon it was just one time."

"Don't play the victim either. I'm not stupid." Sebastian looked away, he'd had his fair share of warnings.

"C'mon Seb, look at me when I'm talking to you." Sebastian's father had a tendency to use the nickname right before he was about to drop a bombshell of news. This got Sebastian's attention. "Look," he started, placing his hands on the table and leaning closer to Sebastian. He took a deep breath before continuing. "I've already spoken to Principal Figgins at McKinley High school over in Lima about a transfer."

Sebastian's eyes shot up. He must be joking. Sure, okay maybe his dad didn't approve of his more risqué behaviours but Sebastian was sure he would never sabotage his own reputation by sending his youngest son to public school just to piss him off.

Sebastian's father was extremely thrilled with the look of horror on Sebastian's face judging by the smug grin now plastered across his own. It was identical to the one Sebastian had just after tearing someone down with his charming words.

"Just wait until you get there, son." He laughed.

"You wouldn't dare. You're too proud." He interjected.

"Oh but I would. You see, there's a lot of talk around the office these days and let me just say, it doesn't put you in the most positive light." Sebastian grimaced. "I should have done something about this sooner. It's getting embarrassing, son."

That stung. He'd always had a pretty close relationship with his father, they hardly argued compared to his other siblings due to their mutual respect for one another.

"I'm just at the end of my patience. I've brushed your shameless, outlandish behaviour under the rug one too many times, laughing about it, making a joke. But I just can't do it anymore. Not now that it's starting to affect my life, and your mothers. It's just gone too far."

Sebastian thought he should have felt some guilt at that statement. But instead he just felt angry.

"Look, you know we love you, and we've not been strict unless it was necessary, we're just worried about you." He paused. Like Sebastian, he found it difficult to do feelings thing, he just relied on the implications - a pat on the shoulder here, a point of the finger there. "You're better than this."

Sebastian wasn't sure if he was supposed to feel flattered by that, but he felt the opposite. "Are you expecting me to apologise? Because fine, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that this bothers you so much. It won't happen again." He snapped before taking a moment to calm himself down. “Just please, please don't send me there." He knew was begging now, and the feeling of the word 'please' left a strange taste in his mouth. Sebastian Smythe doesn't ask. He just gets.

"Oh Sebastian it's a bit late for that now. As of Monday, you're officially a student at McKinley High." He said, pushing his chair out and patting Sebastian on the shoulder as he walked out, ending the conversation.

Sebastian didn't respond. Clearly he was getting nowhere. His father would come around when he realised what a ridiculous idea it was.

He didn't.


	2. Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's first day at McKinley.

Not three days later, Sebastian 'I-hate-the-stench-of-public-schools' Smythe found himself being driven towards the parking lot of McKinley High; his Dalton uniform ditched in favour of jeans and a light blue button down, pulling into the home to the No Directions and his all-time favourite couple; Hobbit and gay-face.

Sebastian sighed heavily as his father pulled up to the curb just outside the main doors, as if expecting him to skip his first day. Not that that hadn't crossed his mind, but he didn't want to get into any more trouble if he wanted to be back at Dalton by the end of the month.

Bitterly, he was sure his father thought this was hilarious; none of this plan fitted with his usual laid back approach to parenting. The only acceptable reasoning he could find was that this was all some huge joke to scare Sebastian into playing the innocent virgin and that as soon as he got out of the car his father would laugh and say "fooled you" and he would drive him back to Dalton and that would be the end of it.

He didn't.

+

After being thrown out of the car with a sarcastic “have a nice day at school” from his smirking father, he walked towards the doors, framed across the top with the words “learning today, living tomorrow”. Tacky, he thought to himself.

He felt sick already. It was almost as if he could physically feel the waves of Lima losers encompassing him before he’d even set foot in the building.

He straightened up and carried on, determined to show his father that this was stupid, and that this would not faze him because he simply did not care. He’d get him back.

He earned a few stares from students who were crowding the lockers, talking loudly and moving incredibly fast for half past eight on a Monday morning. Christ. It felt like a zoo. He didn’t imagine this school saw a lot of new faces, so he was bound to be some kind of novelty, especially seen as he was transferring mid-semester in his senior year.

He adopted his signature smirk, stood tall with an air of confidence and practically marched down the hallway to collect his class schedule from the reception. If he was going to do this, and he’d resigned himself to that on the basis that a, Sebastian Smythe loves a challenge and b, he would not let his levels of happiness be controlled by anyone but himself - letting his father win unacceptable - then he would do it right by instating his superior authority in high school hierarchy straight off the bat through his exceptional good looks and outstanding charm.

The building was pretty easy to navigate given the ever clearing population in the corridors and the fact that it was nowhere near as grand as the architecture he was used to at Dalton, and he received his schedule in time to have a wander around and get his bearings.

It was at this point that he realised his burning need to avoid any and all Glee club members at all costs. He was not ready for that kind of humiliation, not yet. He hadn't even had his second coffee of the day yet.

He rounded the last corner which would complete his self-guided tour of the campus just in time to catch Kurt and Blaine having a ‘moment’ outside of their lockers. The way Blaine was looking at Kurt, as if he was the most precious thing he’d ever seen made the feelings of nausea reignite inside him, so he quickly doubled back on himself just in time to crash hard into Santana Lopez.

A surprising amount of expressions crossed her face in a matter of seconds before she finally settled on confusion. She opened her mouth as if to ask something and then closed it just as quickly.

“Tramp stamp. Are you lost?” She asked, replacing the confused expression with her Queen Bitch one. Sebastian was never one to back down from verbal sparring, especially with someone who was as entertaining and quick witted as he was.

“Oh hey, Sha-queer-a, did your relatives enjoy that piñata? I had it sent first class, consider it a gift.” He smirked.

She ignored the quip easily. “No, really, what the fuck are you doing in my school, you smarmy rat bastard?”

His smirk faltered for a second before he composed himself. He could hardly deny that he’d transferred. He wasn’t in uniform, it was 8:47am on a Monday morning and he was holding a class schedule in his hand.

Her eyes followed his to the folded piece of paper in his hand; she grabbed it and then unfolded it, skimming the contents.

“No fucking way.” She burst out laughing, which didn’t at all shock him. He didn’t think there would be a person he’d encounter here who wouldn’t find something funny in the fact that Sebastian Smythe, out and proud snob and hater of public schools, was here, in a public school.

“That’s what I said.” He muttered, not sure if he meant for Santana to hear. He snatched the schedule back from her, making a move to go around her, but not without pushing hard into her shoulder ‘accidentally’.

She let him go, still in shock of the situation. As he rounded the corner he sighed, pissed that he wasn't able to get the last word and really wishing he could’ve at least survived the three hours until lunch before the New Directions found out about this. He had no doubts that the first thing Santana had done after he left would’ve been to text them all to let them know.

He headed to his first lesson, math, for which he was now bordering on late. At least he'd arrive in style, he thought.

He arrived moments before the teacher began registration and managed to take an unoccupied seat near the back right corner of the room. The lesson itself was fairly simple stuff - algebra he was pretty sure he’d covered back in tenth grade -so he took the opportunity to zone out and think some more about his weekend instead.

It had been pretty intense, three nights straight at scandals, waking up somewhere he didn’t know each night with someone he didn’t know and wouldn’t bother getting to know, with a dull headache. To Sebastian it was pretty standard.

He even considered it a success of some sort that he managed to pull two nights out without getting caught once by his father. Especially seen as his father had gone out of his way to watch Sebastian's every move. He wasn't very good at it. Or maybe he’d just given up and was hoping that this lame public school plan would work its magic in getting Sebastian to change his ways.

Still, if the rest of his lessons were as mind numbingly simple as this one, he may as well have already graduated. He wasn’t going to push himself too hard.

By lunch he had relaxed a little in the knowledge that he hadn’t yet shared a single lesson with anyone from the New Directions. A few girls had tried to talk to him during bio last period, and he indulged them until it got boring, (which was pretty quickly, they were three of the most two dimensional people he’d ever had the pleasure of speaking to, and this morning he was just not in the mood to humour them), but that was it.

For the first time in his life he was content to blend in.

+

By the time he arrived at the cafeteria itself he was feeling way too relaxed for his own good, though the incredibly poor standard of food lessened his mood a great deal. Still refusing to make the New Directions (or more, ‘Klaine’) aware of his new student status, he decided to skip eating all together and head outside to explore the rest of the grounds.

He made his way over to the bleachers, placing himself right at the back and digging his phone from the pocket of his jeans.

From Blaine: (10:18am) Hey, I know we haven’t spoken much lately, but Santana said she saw you this morning. You haven’t really transferred have you? You would’ve told me first, right?

The message was from a few hours ago, but he decided not to reply, for now. It was a pointless exercise and at this rate he didn’t think he’d even make it to the end of the day.

He really hated this. He felt vulnerable. And if there was one thing in his life he couldn’t stand apart from public schools, overly camp gay stereotypes and Ohio, it was having the lower hand. He was most definitely out of his comfort zone and it was irking him to no end that he had lost the verbal battle with Satan this morning and was currently hiding out in the bleachers watching a group of uncoordinated, unattractive homophobes run about a poorly tended soccer pitch in mid-March.

It was barely past noon and it already felt like his father was winning. He let his head fall into his hands for a moment before pulling himself together. You don’t get a reputation for being a charming, snarky but condescending son of a bitch by sulking behind the bleachers like a girl who just broke up with her one and only in a chick flick, he told himself.

+

He turned up slightly early to AP English, his next lesson, cringing for the slightest moment upon entering a new classroom and praying he’d be four times lucky and avoid anyone he knew.

Apparently his luck had run out, because sat there in the back corner with an “are you fucking serious?” expression plastered all over his face, was Kurt Hummel.

And it got even better. The only free seat was right next to him. He didn’t realise he’d be staring - or glaring, depending on the definition - until the teacher cleared her throat several times, pulling his attention away.

“Sebastian Smythe, isn’t it?” She smiled. She was a small woman, young too, probably relatively new to the position if her untamed friendliness and optimistic approach was anything to go by. Everyone knew this was a soul crushing profession.

“Yeah.” He grimaced, forcing a polite but fake smile in return.

Do take a seat.” She gestured towards the spot next to Kurt after he continued to just stand there somewhat awkwardly.

Reluctantly he made his way to the back of the room and set his bag down heavily enough to startle Kurt out of his smug expression.

“Well, well, well. Everyone’s favourite meerkat has come to join the ‘common’ people.” Kurt smiled, sarcasm dripping from his tone. The startled expression had vanished from his face quicker than it had appeared.

“Aw, sweetheart, don’t flatter yourself.”

“I must admit, when Santana first told me that you of all people were here this morning, I really didn’t know whether to throw up or laugh. Are you really that desperate to get Blaine?”

“You really think this is about your pathetic pretty pony of a boyfriend? Please. I’m insulted.” He replied, unzipping his bag and pulling out his English textbook.

“So why are you here? We’re all dying to know. I mean I know you lost regionals, which must have had some effect on even your oversized ego, but you’ve absolutely lost it if you think coming here will mean you can join New Directions.”

Sebastian really felt insulted now. Blaine and regionals were way beyond irrelevant to him now, his concentration span for men was shorter than a child with an addiction to Candy Crush. And Kurt was just plain stupid if he thought a hobbit who wears too much hair gel and a high school singing competition of all things was enough to keep his attention for longer the time it took to become aware of them.

Okay maybe he still wanted Blaine a little bit, but only because not getting what he wanted tended to wind him up more than he was willing to admit.

“I don’t care about your stupid prancy club or your boy toy or your stupid gay face.” He answered.

“Glad to see that you haven’t lost your talent for making accurate observations and overusing the same four insults.”

“I’m not glad to see that you still don’t know where the men’s section is.” Sebastian turned his attention to the front of the class, where the small woman was now presenting the three month long assignment on classic British literature that would take them to the end of the year. He rolled his eyes at the worn-out choice and resigned to the sad fact that he’d probably never be challenged here.

It was a great shame, considering he did have a particular love and talent for English. He wasn’t entirely devoid of culture.

Kurt was still staring at Sebastian as if he wanted to carry on the conversation but Sebastian turned away from him and picked up his pen to begin scribbling notes into his admittedly beautiful composition book.

They stayed pretty much silent for the remainder of the lesson.

+

Unfortunately, Sebastian also shared his next lesson, history, with Kurt. Fortunately, they were sat on opposite sides of the room. Kurt was sat at the back once more next to that annoyingly self-absorbed and whiny brunette he seemed to love so much. Sebastian thought she was somewhat similar to him in that way, but she lacked his way with words.

He could feel their stares burning into the back of his head from the moment he sat down, and he was sure he heard Rachel mutter the ends of “but think of Nationals, Kurt. We need this” whilst tugging repeatedly on his arm. Sebastian would bet his entire college fund that she never talked about anything else.

The only silver lining of this was that the guy sat in front of him had a great ass. No, not great, fantastic. Perhaps Sebastian could have some fun in this wreck of an institution after all.

Sebastian wasted no time in trying to get the attention of the guy in front, who at one point he believed could be asleep. It didn’t take too long before he responded, turning around in his chair to see who had been throwing the various scraps of paper with incredibly crude and borderline awful chat up lines onto his desk.

The boy’s face definitely did not disappoint, which was a pleasant surprise considering he didn’t think anyone in this part of Ohio could be worthy his approval. His hair was slightly longer than that of Sebastian’s and a much lighter blond. His strong jawline framed his perfectly full lips, which Sebastian could not take his eyes off, even as they repeatedly asked “what the fuck?”

After several long seconds he moved on to roam over the rest of his figure. He was probably of average height - it was hard to tell whilst sat down - and quite delicate looking upon first glance, but after looking more closely Sebastian could admire the way the fabric of his shirt hinted slightly at his arm and chest muscles. Approval all round.

After making his judgement, Sebastian looked up to his eyes, which were a gorgeous shade of blue, smirked and stretched out his hand in a gesture. The blond character accepted it whilst Sebastian introduced himself.

“Robin”, he replied returning the smile that complimented his face so much more that the confused frown he'd been wearing moments earlier, he was stunning. “You’re the new kid, right?”

He’d been asked that question more times than he could count today, and it was still only Monday.

“Yeah, yeah”, he answered, wanting to keep the other boys attention for just a little bit longer but already stalling considering his high school environment. Though, to be honest, with that ass, either view was perfectly acceptable. “So, fancy helping me catch up with all this coursework?” He added a little bit of flirt into his tone.

Sebastian didn’t actually need any help, in fact, he could probably offer Robin more help than he could give him despite being at least four weeks behind on the project. He was pretty sure it would be piss easy to complete in a night or two nearer to the deadline.

Robin frowned at that, picking up on the other non-so-subtle undertones of his implication. “I’m not sure if I have the time, I’m really behind myself actually.” He was stuttering a little now, but Sebastian just smiled wider.

“Oh come on, help a new guy out?” He mock pouted. The guy just shook his head and turned back to face the front of the class.

Sebastian wasn’t done yet. By the sounds of it, he had a good few months at least of daily history lessons to crack the boy in front of him.

+

Finally, it was three pm, the end of the day.

The speed in which the people sitting around him leapt up and scrambled out of the building was almost comical. The noise and buzz of the place intensified as hundreds of lockers were being slammed shut one after the other and groups of friends were meeting up to exchange any remaining gossip from the weekend. How public school of them.

After watching gay face and female hobbit link arms and turn their snooty noses up at him as they walked past him out of the classroom, he gathered his books and headed out.

His dad was now over fifteen minutes late in picking him up. He was certain this was still part of the joke; keep him waiting, having to rely on someone else. His freedom had been taken away from him completely as he didn’t even have his car.

Sebastian shifted his weight to his other foot, growing uncomfortable with the amount of public school children who were still lingering in the parking lot. He’d avoided all the football jerks that had a misplaced sense of self importance, and liked to pick on the weak, vulnerable teenagers, the new kids and the minorities, and in Ohio they tended to stick out like a sore thumb.

Perhaps it was thanks the fact that he was attractive and confident and could act like he’d been at this school for years. He had long nights at scandals turning up home at four am to thank for giving him plenty of practice at becoming invisible to certain people if he wanted.

Though no sooner than a few minutes later, none other than Blaine Anderson was bouncing towards him, complete with a pink bowtie and hair so gelled it would never escape even in gale force winds. Surely that can’t be healthy.

“Sebastian! Seb, hey!” He exclaimed with a surprisingly large grin on his face.

Sebastian turned to face him at the sound, grimacing. “Hey, killer. How’s it going?”

“Great. Great. How- how was your first day, then?” Blaine said, hesitating a little.

“Magical. I don’t know why I ever had such a low opinion of public schools.” He replied, smirking.

“Oh, fantastic.” Blaine clearly hadn’t picked up on the sarcasm. The dumb schoolboy thing was, whilst adorable, a little frustrating at times. “I didn’t see you around like- at all today though. You’ll sit with us at lunch tomorrow, right?”

He didn't know what Blaine's angle was. It was common knowledge that everyone in the New Directions couldn't stand him. Sure, he and Blaine were frienemies, bordering more towards, dare he say it, friends ever since he apologized for being such a twat with the slushie incident, but he never thought Blaine would actively seek him out to him help fit in in this tragic place.

It was always the opposite way around, with Blaine constantly ignoring his calls and flirtatious texts late at night.

“Why?”

Blaine’s brows knitted together in confusion. “Why what? You can’t just sit around on your own, and I’m pretty sure we’re the only people you know here who will talk to you, even if it’s just to insult you.” He laughed. “Come on, you need a friend.”

That was insulting. “I don’t need anything from you right now. It’s awful enough that I have to put up with the stench of Lima Loser from nine until three, five days a week, I don’t need to add concentrated doses of delusional, talentless Broadway wannabes on top of that.”

He wasn’t even sure why he was in such a foul mood with the smaller boy. Usually he’d jump at the chance to get him alone without lady Hummel, but right now he just wanted to go home, shower and head back out to drown his sorrows with drinks bought by randomers who he might even repay later if they were good looking enough. Or maybe even if they weren't.

He didn’t notice that Blaine was still frowning at that, also as perplexed by Sebastian’s change of heart as he was.

“I just thought after Karofsky,” Blaine swallowed hard when Sebastian’s eyes darted suddenly to his; it was still an uncomfortable topic, “that you’d, you know, be more civil towards us. I’m only trying to help.”

“You’re so naïve, Blaine.” He smiled almost fondly. “Thanks for the offer, but no thanks.”

He walked away then, noticing that his father was now parked across the road, with his sunglasses on and window rolled down, even though they were summer was still months away.

He crashed as soon as he reached his bedroom, so much for getting wasted. But he’d survived his first day at McKinley.


	3. A Bit of History and Some Humiliation Too

By day four of Sebastian’s first week at McKinley, nothing much had changed.

He had started to hang around with a few people from his classes, though. But he didn't really pay much attention to anything they are saying. He isn't even sure he could name them all; they all have such similar faces. Having said that, they do have more identifiable characteristics than their Dalton counterparts, such as ‘the girl with the dolly pink halter neck’ or ‘the guy who clearly got dressed in the dark’, which Sebastian is at least a little bit thankful for.

English still remains the worst part of the day, with Kurt finding a new way to aggravate him about his situation each day, with his fluttering eyes and innocent smile. Of course, it’s easy to wind him up right back, he just has to fantasize out loud, and in great detail, all the things he’s imagined doing with Blaine, to Blaine. Or simply pick at his insecurities, which Kurt lays out so clearly it’s almost shameful to miss out on the opportunity.

He talks and talks for the entire hour, making sure to add a tangible amount of desire into his tone when talking about Blaine, until the blush is high on Kurt’s cheeks and he’s so flustered he can’t even think of a scathing response.

By last period, Kurt has nothing but pent up rage to expel to poor old Rachel, and he watches with the greatest satisfaction as Kurt becomes flurried and increasingly animated recounting all of the comments Sebastian had come up with. It pleases him greatly that he knows exactly what buttons to push to get this reaction out of Kurt.

Usually, he flees the building as quickly as humanly possible, avoiding all potential conversation obstacles. But the following Tuesday afternoon, after collecting his things from his locker - which unfortunately is only three spaces down from Kurt and Rachel’s - he decided to investigate this school a little more.

Making his way across the hallway, he looked across the bulletin boards, sparse in notices due to the late month of the academic year. It was entirely ridiculous that his father had made him transfer just over two months before he would graduate. His father had that kind of persuasive power unfortunately.

No lacrosse team.

He shouldn’t have been shocked at all; he doubted very much that students here even knew what lacrosse was. In terms of athletics, he knew from his semi-weekly sports lessons that there were four groups of student here; the air headed, unnecessary aggressive football players, the scarily thin, incredible flexible Cheerios, the rejects who still hadn’t recovered from being cut from the team almost before they’d even signed up, and those to whom any kind of sport related activity was probably worse than death.

His eyes continued to gloss over the notice boards. His time in Paris had exposed him to a different attitude to life and high school careers. Being on the opposite side of the Atlantic, the most noticeable thing was the difference in culture. Everything was totally different.

He’d been to France before of course, many more times than others from Western Ohio who may not have even left the state, never mind the country, but no more than those in the elite social circles that he and his arguably too-wealthy family travelled in.

Last year was the first time he’d lived and been educated there, though. It was his mother’s idea. She was born and raised in France, but she went to college in the states due to a family ingrained love for exploration and travelling, and her nature to become restless meant that she switched residency between the states and the fifth republic more times than Sebastian switched sexual partners, almost.

Usually it wouldn’t be for extended periods, three to six months at the most. Her job as a freelance interior designer and occasional amateur architect meant that she could travel more liberally, providing that she wasn’t currently on a job. She would pack up and leave, almost floating away, and they never knew when or if she’d return.

It confused Sebastian and it hurt his father, hurt him a lot more than he showed. Mainly because his job and his commitment to giving his children a stable and familiar upbringing tied him to the states, and he wanted more than anything to follow her everywhere. He had done since he was just twenty one years old when he bent down to pick up a bunch of leaflets which had been scattered throughout the east side of the Stanford campus by the harsh winds on one wintery day.

Strangely, the constant upheaval of their everyday life never broke the family and when they were together it was as if the she’d never been away. He wasn’t sure if his father was deluded or really that desperate to hang on to his mother, or if they really did love each other enough to never let distance touch them.

All in all, he guessed his parent’s relationship was pretty admirable, but he never understood them. They didn’t appear to be the sort who stayed together for the sake of staying together. They still shared long glances over dinner, held hands whilst sat on the couch watching television; they even went on date nights every Tuesday and Friday. They were the whole still-madly-in-love-even-after-all-these-years couple.

It was around Sebastian’s sixteenth birthday that she decided to try something new. She wanted Sebastian to experience the life and love of travelling and just see. See the world as she saw it before he went to college. His older brother, Matthew, had moved to San Francisco last fall, and Sebastian suspected it was the loss of one son and the impending departure of her only other one which spurred her into including Sebastian on her latest adventure.

Sebastian was initially reluctant to leave his father alone, but after long discussions, he decided to take the transfer and at last they relocated to France. They made their home in the city itself, owning a grand apartment with spectacular views that Sebastian wasn’t totally sure he deserved to wake up to every morning.

His mother had explained that she wanted this to be the most excellent year of his life and that he needed to experience everything. And oh, he did. The Parisian nightlife was the most incredible thing he’d experienced in his life. It made even Ohio’s most outrageous gay bars seem duller than a black and white photograph of an empty field on an average spring day. The city was so busy and vibrant and alive and he loved every single moment.

It didn’t even get him down that his studies were harder (with half of them being taught in French – whilst he was fluent now, there was that little bit of a delay translating the history of the French revolution first thing on a Monday morning), and there seemed to be much less focus on sport; which was a pleasant change in the hierarchy.

Coming full circle in his current thought train, Sebastian remembered where he was. He’d been staring vacantly at the bulletin board for at least five minutes now. He shook his head and began skimming the posters for anything of adequate interest. This school was so boring.

The competitive football season was over now, which would have been his first choice after lacrosse, but his well-built frame made him quite an adaptable athlete all round, if he wanted to be. He was sure he could make it onto the baseball or basketball team easily enough, so he signed his name for both.

His attention was caught by a pale blue poster covered in small gold stars advertising the sign-up sheet for the New Directions. His eyes flitted to the page, which unsurprisingly had no names written besides insults that were more unimaginative than Sebastian’s chat up lines and crude drawings. He laughed a little whilst reading the names, and then turned to walk towards the parking lot.

He paused briefly, and thought about signing up. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was really that bored, or if he craved the opportunity to ruin something that was so special to so many he’d classed as his enemies, or if it was because he missed the Warblers after all.

Realising how lame he sounded, he shook his head somewhat violently and turned around to be hit square in the face with a cup full of icy liquid.

He felt the slush work its way rapidly through his shirt, drenching him through and through in red dye no6. He thought just saying out loud that he now attended public school because he got caught whoring around one too many times was bad, but he had never felt more humiliated in his life than right now.

He stood deathly still, arms hanging in mid-air with an expression of pure disbelief, making way for anger to flood his features but not without the high red tones of embarrassment riding high on his cheekbones, which unfortunately, the red slush only helped to emphasize.

The sting in his eyes was the worst part and shit if he didn’t feel true, honest regret for what he did to Blaine now - and this slushie didn’t even have rock salt in it.

“Welcome to McKinley, prancy boy!” He thought he heard someone shout in his ear as two jocks high-fived, laughed and then sauntered away, clearly this was a proud moment for them, he thought.

In retrospect he should have expected this sooner, a new kid was always the labelled the victim, and being from a private all-boys school, the temptation of the potential to humiliate and bully such a boy was too big to resist. Of course they didn’t know that Sebastian wasn’t easy pickings and he would definitely never stand for this and his intelligent, cutting words would bring them down in a heartbeat.

But he would have to wait to regain his dignity and his pride until tomorrow morning when he would actually be able to see through the thick red ice crystals that were currently irritating his eyes right now.

Slowly, so as to limit the movement and spread of the slushie down the back of his shirt, he raised his hands to his face, wiping the liquid from his eyes almost comically. He didn’t know the quickest way to the bathroom yet or have a change of clothes, and seeing other people would inevitably happen, which was fantastic.

Thankfully, he had some luck, because those as of yet unidentified idiots decided to slushie him after school hours when most people had already scattered, keeping the humiliation to a minimum. He only saw one person on the way to the bathroom, and she looked at him with a resigned pity that explained well enough that she’d been where he was now, probably several times.

Pulling out more than half of the supply of paper towels from the corner of the deserted bathroom, he began to wipe the ice off of his face, wincing at the freezing temperature that was slightly numbing his face and now he thought about it, his chest too. And maybe even his pants.

Oh for fucks sake, he thought bitterly, anger now becoming his primary emotion. He looked down and sure enough the ugly red colouring had surpassed his jeans and soaked through his underwear. He was not looking forward to the half hour journey home. He dabbed underneath his shirt and around his jeans, and even attempted to use the hand dryer to dry his shirt a little, before throwing the used pile of tissue into the bin and pushing the bathroom door back open.

He strode as proudly and as quickly as he could out of the front doors and towards his car. It had only taken his father a week to let him drive himself to school after he realised that although it was hilarious to wind up Sebastian so early in the morning, it also inconvenienced his work schedule.

He threw his bag into the passenger seat of his ‘too beautiful to be parked amongst these cheap hand-me-down excuses for cars’ Infiniti FX model, which admittedly was a little oversized for his needs and probably pretty pretentious for a high school senior who should be trying a little harder to fit in if he wanted to avoid being slushied again. Sighing, he turned the ignition and drove home, not even bothering to switch on the radio.

He didn’t notice that Kurt had seen the whole thing.

+

Ever since he started attending McKinley, there had been a quiet tension building each night at family dinners. Though neither parent had spoken directly to Sebastian about it, he had the feeling that they’d been arguing about it more and more each day.

His mother hadn’t been entirely on board with Sebastian transferring at such an unreasonably late month just to teach him a lesson by giving him a public school diploma. But his father had insisted that it would work, and he would gain a lot more independence and maturity from the experience.

By the time he’d arrived home his clothes had mostly dried - though ey were irreversibly stained a deep shade of red and he was still in a foul mood. He skipped the ‘hellos’ and empty ‘how was school, honey?’ greetings and stormed straight upstairs to take a shower.

The family lived just outside Lima, in the wealthiest part of town, of course. Unfortunately for him, that also meant that he was just within the district of McKinley High. With Dalton being a boarding school, he’d got used to the distance and semi-independence of living away from his parents, so this past week had been somewhat stressful having to relearn how to be around them every evening.

The Smythe household was moderately sized given their wealth; Edward Smythe preferred to spend his money on expensive cars and suits, whilst Amelié, being an interior designer, used their money on lavish furnishings that completed the home.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about the residence was how it reflected on them as a family. It was not a cold household, which some considered surprising given Amelié’s penchant for travelling, but the very opposite. Amelié Smythe contemplated each and every place she chose to live in with careful, delicate consideration, threading her very personality throughout the walls of the building. Their Ohio home was one she’d chosen to keep ever since that first viewing over fourteen years ago.

Each room was tastefully designed with warm but neutral colours, the furniture was plentiful but not overwhelming, and the walls featured expansive ranges of art. She had designed the home in a way which meant each room represented a different side of their family life; the kitchen was modern and functional but also inviting and well equipped, the study offered privacy and a motivating work space which grew Amelié’s creative mind, and the living room brought the family together with its engaging and varied atmosphere.

It was completely their own.

+

Sebastian spent longer than usual in the shower, taking the time to let the hot water work its way into his overly stressed muscles. He’d do this every so often when he’d had a particularly awful day, but today it didn’t quite work due to the lingering feelings of humiliation.

After around half an hour, he shut off the water and dressed himself in clean clothes; a simple striped polo shirt in shades of blue with dark denim jeans which weren’t skin tight but complimented the structure of his legs and hips particularly well.

He was halfway down the staircase when he heard the heated whispers of his parents. Strangely, it sounded almost as if his father was laughing at something, Sebastian felt a little relieved. He gently walked two more steps down, trying to get close enough to hear them but keeping quiet enough to remain unnoticed.

“I know, I know. No, Edward we shouldn’t laugh its technically bullying.” He heard his mother say, laughing.

“But this has worked out so much better than I thought. Think about it; remember last year, when he almost blinded that kid by doing the same thing?” There was a beat of silence. Sebastian cursed under his breath; he hated that memory and had done everything possible to tarnish it from his mind.

“Edward!” She scolded. “Come on this isn’t fair.” She drew out the last syllable before breaking out into a giggle.

The family were able to joke about his past mistakes occasionally now, at the time he’d been given a harsh lecture, resulting in his allowance being cut for three months, a grounding and most regrettably, formal apologies sent to both Blaine and Dave Karofsky as well as the several other (hundred) people he’d personally offended over the past eighteen months. It was a low point in his otherwise superior life.

“You’ve got to see the hilarity of it though, right? He turns up home an hour late, drenched in red dye with a face that looks like someone just sent some horrible manipulated photographs of him nude around the entire school-” Edward snorted at his own hilarity, Sebastian was now almost at breaking point. His father knew about that incident as well, he hated his warped sense of humour sometimes.

“Don’t talk about him that way. Wait- what if that’s what happened? You don’t think-?” There was a dramatic gasp, and then the pair broke out into laughter.

That was it, he needed some air. Sebastian practically jumped the rest of the distance to the bottom of the staircase, landing agilely. He crossed the space towards the door and grabbed the lead that was hanging from the coat hook by the front door which of course immediately gained the attention of the small but incredible energetic collie who was lounging in the next room. Cas bounded into the hallway, almost knocking Sebastian backwards whilst he whined at him to hurry up and get going.

After sensing the movement of the previously sleeping creature, Amelié and Edward turned suddenly from where they were keeled over laughing to look towards the door.

“’Bastian honey? Where are you going?” Amelié asked, in a feather light tone.

“Out.” He replied in a clipped tone, facing the door.

“What about dinner? I made our favourite when I saw you’d had a rough day.” She tried.

He rolled his eyes and held his breath. Attaching the lead to Cas, he turned and slammed the door behind him, heading to the only place he knew could really calm him down on a day like this.

After a brief walk in the opposite direction to central Lima, he reached the city park, which was surprisingly empty for the early evening. He released the now intolerable energetic collie from his lead, and he ran off up and over the biggest hill in the park. Fantastic, Sebastian thought.

After chasing him halfway around the park, and exhausting himself, but unfortunately not Cas - who never seemed to become tired - he finally settled down in his favourite spot; right at the top of the park. He tied Cas around the tree, and collapsed down into a nice spot of sun, really wishing he'd thought this though more and bought some kind of picnic after he skipped out on dinner.

Thankfully, he did have his favourite book, as he'd grabbed his satchel too out of habit on the way out. Sebastian fashioned a pillow out of his hoodie, leaning back and settling into the good few hours that were left before sunset when he'd return home.

He'd only reached the beginning of chapter three when he felt a shadow cast over him, and heard a soft, suspicious growl coming from Cas who had been dozing to his left. With a sigh he looked up towards the source of the shadow, expecting it to be some mother with her elementary school kid coming to compliment him on how gorgeous the dog was. Cas tended to bring out what he liked to call the “single father” reaction in literally everyone they ever walked past, with Cas’s adorably dorky face and Sebastian breaking the common stereo type of compassionate dog owner, they were an unstoppable force for attention.

As it turns out, Sebastian’s eyes fell upon the very last person he expected to see knelt down and cooing sweet nothing's to Cas; Kurt Hummel. Admittedly, surprise was the first emotion to hit Sebastian followed by amusement at his behaviour and then just plain annoyance because this was his park and he came here to be alone.

He quickly schooled his features into his trademark smirk before saying, “can I help you, princess?” probably a bit harsher than necessary and returning his attention back towards the well-worn book.

Kurt’s face fell slightly at the offensive term from the dazed, scrunched up expression he’d adopted upon seeing Cas. He looked towards Sebastian, shooting him a glare which he unfortunately did not notice, and replied; “Your gorgeous little friend here caught this one’s attention”, he gestured towards his right and Sebastian looked over to see a stunning brindle greyhound sniffing delicately around the area.

“I thought a dachshund or a Chihuahua would be more your style. You know, one that fits in your handbag and matches your gay face.” He laughed to himself slightly. “I’m impressed.”

Kurt gave him the most insincere of smiles in return, muttered something to himself and turning to walk away.

A moment later however, he turned back to Sebastian with an unexpectedly serious expression to ask “why do you never lets down the walls you’re clearly tries so desperately hard to keep up?”

This took Sebastian by surprise. As far as he was aware, Sebastian had given Kurt no reason for him to form that impression. In fact he couldn't even remember speaking to Kurt outside of insults and banter exchange in their English class. Instead of asking these thoughts aloud, he avoided the situation entirely. When it became clear that Kurt wasn’t going to get a response, he sighed loudly and carried on walking away.

The truth was Sebastian couldn’t let go and show his weaker side. Ever. It was pretty vulnerable of him to be sat in the park, reading classic British literature as it was. Besides, he didn't even have anyone to let go around anymore, anyway. Sebastian Smythe didn’t have friends, only acquaintances, hook ups and enemies. He hadn’t even had anyone he could call a friend in over six years.

The closest thing Sebastian had to a “healthy, trusting” relationship was with his older brother, Matt, who currently attended a university all the way across the country in San Francisco, meaning only saw him four times a year, and that’s if he was lucky.

He’d learnt the hard way that trusting people makes you weak, it makes you vulnerable. By trusting someone else, you are giving part of yourself over to them to do as they please; to abuse it, manipulate it or throw it back in your face if they so desire.

Besides Matt, everyone he’d ever let in had broken some part of him, particularly his parents. Which is why, before he’d even begun high school; he vowed to take control and to distance himself from even the slight possibility of being hurt by someone else. It was for the same reason that he didn’t believe in love, didn’t let himself get attached, didn’t do relationships. He must remain his own person; he must control his own live and be the decider of his own emotions.

And it worked for him. Of course he felt emotions, he was human after all. It just seemed that the only emotions he’d let consume him were hatred and lust. The hatred perfected his snarky and witty personality, his two best friends in pushing and keeping people away and the latter making him a fantastic lover, who is able to have whoever he wanted, most of the time.

When this didn’t go to plan, he sank into himself. Not that he’d ever admit that to another living being, but there was a softer side to him: the side which deeply enjoyed literature and writing, writing anything and everything from novels to poems to lyrics. The side which felt truly at home at this specific spot under this particular tree whenever life was a particular ass to him, it was the side which let himself feel everything whenever no one else was looking.

The slushie incident must have gotten to him more than he thought, rubbing his hands across his face to pull him back to reality. He was pretty sure he’d just read the same paragraph eight times over, and not a single word had sunk in.

He glanced to his watch, and realised a lot more time had passed than he originally thought. He looked around to take in his surroundings, noticing for the first time the late hour by the darkening sky, highlighted by gorgeous, golden orange tones that bled into yellows, whites and even patches of red that spoke only of a warm spring evening – a pleasant turnaround from the cooler weather of last week.

The park was almost empty now, as it was a still a weekday in mid-March after all, but he noticed across the way were two small figures, nearly shadows now, hard to make out with the lack of light. One was leaning softly against a tree, the other four legged and a lot less graceful. Kurt was still here; perhaps he should say hi and apologize for earlier. No, he couldn’t.

He debated for a few minutes whether this was too out of character to be plausible, but decided that seen as he couldn’t get back into the mood to read, fuck it. He’d go and talk to Lady Hummel.

He made his way across the park, hoping that Kurt wouldn’t look up and see him approaching, so he’d have some time to figure out how he was going to play this. Thankfully, his prayers were answered, and Kurt didn’t look up even when Sebastian made his presence obvious by clearing his throat rather loudly. Oh, so he was ignoring him then. Cute.

He sat down hard on the grass beside the bench that Kurt was occupying; he was nearly pulled sideways by the force of Cas seeing another dog again. He steadied himself and looked up to Kurt, who had his face buried in the latest issue of Vogue, (which was not shocking at all), his jaw clenched and posture stiff, as if being in the very presence of Sebastian was something that required incredible self-control. Which to be honest, it probably did.

“I saw you earlier, you know.” Kurt said, surprising Sebastian with his strange choice of greeting.

“Well, that’s shocking, considering that we share two classes each and every weekday.” He half grimaced, drawing out each syllable of the latter half of the sentence, as if to describe the true torture he felt from it.

“I mean, I saw what happened after school, before you left.” Kurt retorted, deflecting the sarcasm. Sebastian’s usual certainty of having the upper hand in the conversation suddenly dropped.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He replied, eyes dropping to the floor.

“Sebastian, whilst watching you get hit in the face with that cup of icy justice was the highlight of my entire week, or perhaps even my entire year, I can tell it’s actually hit you deep enough to force you to feel some kind of human emotion.” Kurt said, placing his copy of Vogue aside to look at Sebastian, finally.

“Are you psychoanalyzing me, Kurt?”

“No. I’m just trying to understand what you’re doing. You show up at McKinley, sulking for the entire week straight, hardly talking to anyone, not even the handful of mildly attractive guys and then when you finally get slushied, you turn all angsty and turn up in the park of all places. That’s very… emotionally-tortured-artist of you. It just doesn’t fit at all with the image I had of you.”

“Yeah well you don’t know me do you?” He almost spat. He hated how pathetically accurate Kurt’s portrayal of his behaviour was. It was true, he’d even stopped trying to talk to Robin after about three days.

“Quite obviously not.” He responded, feeling the tension. “We took bets on when it would happen by the way, the slushie. I bet a lot sooner, I was shocked by how long you lasted, it happens to everyone, even the jocks, though that’s more of an initiation than a humiliation.” He said after a few moments, to try and ease the awkwardness.

It didn’t work.

“Fantastic.” He regretted coming over to talk to Kurt. It was a stupid spur of the moment decision that was just winding him up more. He got up to leave, he’d taken a few steps when Kurt blurted out “I thought you’d-“

“Thought I’d what?” He asked, genuinely quite curious.

“Never mind.” He replied, turning once again to pick up his Vogue.

Sebastian shrugged, pulling Cas along whilst he walked out of the park. If he turned back at all to look at Kurt, engrossed in his magazine, Kurt didn’t see.


	4. The Second Slushie and The Cheerio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the moment, the moment Sebastian finally sees Kurt in his Cheerio's uniform.

Sebastian arrived at McKinley the next morning a little out of it.

After getting home last night, he’d spent a few hours at home experimenting with cocktail making for no good reason other than as soon as he opened the front door his parents ambushed him and tried to get him to talk about his feelings. He should’ve gone in through his bedroom window; he thought bitterly, much more work but much less parental hassle.

He waited (impatiently) for them to give up trying to get him to talk about it and retire to bed before raiding their alcohol stock which was after all, expansive. Part of him believed he may still be a little bit drunk now, what with the way the ground shifted unsteadily under his feet as if it was made from foam.

Mostly he just had a dull headache growing lightly as the morning wore on and the sun got higher in the sky and the temperature rose with it.

He got out of the car, careful with how lightly he slammed the door and walked on into school. He didn’t notice the stares or the quiet giggles from several groups of girls as he walked by, and if he did, he mistook it for their attraction to him. Duh.

He’d blissfully forgotten the events of the previous day, and wasn’t reminded until he’d had his head stuck in his locker long enough to be surrounded by half a dozen, quite intimidating jocks.

It wasn’t until he heard them shifting impatiently; still trying to be quiet, but a lot heavier on their feet than they probably thought, that he even noticed they were there. Which was surprising seen as there were more than yesterday. Whether to reduce his chances of escaping unharmed or to increase the levels of humiliation, he didn’t know.

Either way, there was no way past them, as the hallway now almost full to breaking point, with students crammed into every available corner all turning their attention to the circle of jocks surrounding the new kid. He sighed quietly; he should have known that yesterday’s incident had too small an audience to satisfy the crowds of McKinley, who seem promote anti-bullying every time they were shoved into lockers or slushied in the face or had their lunch money stolen, but apparently forgot all conceivable morals when it allowed them to have a good laugh at someone else’s expense, for once.

What a gripping double standard, he thought, as he slammed his locker shut, took two deep breaths and plastered a confident smirk onto his face before turning around to face them.

As his eyes scanned the semi-circle to meet the eyes of each jock dressed in those ridiculously oversized McKinley High letterman jackets, he remained totally calm on the outside. Inside, he was desperately thinking of any way he could avoid having to go the rest of the day in soaked, stained clothes which, for once, he actually made some effort in planning. He knew he should have brought a change of clothes.

He walked two baby steps forward away from the wall of lockers and the jocks moved two steps backwards with him, now forming a complete circle in the middle of the hall and completely blocking it, forcing all students present, whether interested or not, to pay attention.

Well, shit. He hoped this didn’t backfire on him any more than it already had. His headache was already getting worse and he could barely concentrate properly.

“Morning boys, can I help you with anything?” He asked, which was most definitely stupid, because he knew, they knew, the entire hallway knew why they were there. He was really stalling.

They all laughed, not the nice, satisfactory kind of laugh that you get from your friends when you tell a particularly funny joke, but the cruel, mocking kind - the kind that blatantly screams that ‘we’re laughing at you, not with you, you jerk.’ Sebastian hated that laugh.

“News kid is a posh boy and dumb? Wow. All those years of private education really paid off.” One tall jock spat, turning to accept a high five from the shorter man on his left.

“Well at least my parents have money.” He spat back, he wasn’t taking this shit and he wouldn’t be the victim. The jock must have took some offense to that, as he stopped laughing and turned to face Sebastian, taking a step forward and almost violently grabbing the collar of his shirt. His face had hardened, his jaw set and his eyes cold – a contrast to the cruel smile of a moment ago, eyes wide with superiority.

“Are you talkin’ back to me? What did you just say about my family?” The jock retorted. Sebastian’s words were a low blow and he knew it. He was raised into the belief of not judging people on their wealth, family values or history. In fact, it was one of the things he admired the most about his family, they never let their wealth go to their heads and translate to an elitist attitude.

Despite the private education, decent sized house, collection of cars and numerous trips to Europe, Sebastian thought his parents were pretty down to earth about money. They weren’t in any ‘millionaire clubs’ and whilst they frequented the neighbourhood of Ohio’s elite class, they never once pretended to share their views. They even held charity benefits three times a year and Edward Smythe donated 25% of his annual income to various charitable groups in and around Ohio.

He was pretty sure at the last benefit that half of the money raised had gone to the schools in the West Lima district, including McKinley. Sebastian was pulled his thoughts by a rough shove to his right shoulder.

“That was uncalled for.” He grimaced.

“I said, what the fuck did you just say about my family?” The jock repeated, advancing on Sebastian, raising the slushie in his hand higher, as if it would threaten him more.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, you know. You see, my dad’s sort of what us more knowledgeable call a state’s attorney, so-“ He was pretty sure he’d parroted some variation of this line to every person he’d ever met at one point in his life. It was sort of his ‘get out of jail free’ card, though apparently this time it wasn’t working.

“Posh boy’s hiding behind daddy”, he taunted, moving to pinch one of Sebastian’s cheeks as if he was a child. Sebastian pulled back quickly. “My guess is you’ll be too embarrassed to tell daddy about your struggle at the bottom of the food chain here”, he paused. “Don’t need no private education to feel the waves of superiority coming off you. And we’re here to teach you your first real life lesson and put you back where you belong.” He said, inching closer with each word. His words were obviously meant as a fear inspiring speech about how he should back down and play his part, but hell would freeze over before Sebastian Smythe ever bowed down to any of these self-righteous, dumb twats.

“Will you just get this over with? I’m bored and I have class in-” he replied, ignoring the dig and raising his wrist to glance at his watch. He dramatically calculated the time, “three minutes.” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled innocently – he hoped they didn’t catch on to his fake nonchalance. He could feel his façade cracking just a tiny bit and that was tearing him apart inside. He could pretend it was nothing all he wanted, but deep down he knew getting slushied was undeniably humiliating, no matter who you were.

“As you wish.” The jock smiled, he nodded across the circle at another guy who presumably also held a slushie. He pulled the hand holding the slushie back slowly, aiming it back up into Sebastian’s face.

Sebastian didn’t think twice when he ducked down and slightly left a moment later, avoiding the majority of the blue coloured liquid. It felt like it was happening in slow motion – like something from a cheesy superhero blockbuster with too much CGI. He heard the gasp of the jock behind him as he took the hit of drink, but all he could see was the ten pairs of shoes he was now six inches from.

Part of him really thought they weren’t going to do it. The threats about his father’s powerful status had never failed to ensure him the highest respect before.

There was a beat of silence that went on for too long, then a group of gasps of disbelief from various points in the corridor and finally laughter. Laughter that sounded slightly frightened, though, as if they themselves would be slushied if they so much as acknowledged this moment.

Sebastian himself had developed a look somewhere in-between disbelief, pride and disgust at the parts of the slushie that were now unavoidably trailed down his back and through his brand new, quite expensive shirt.

“What the fuck man?!” The slushie donned jock exclaimed, looking down at Sebastian. Oh of course he’d get the blame, because he was clearly the one who came here with the intention of assaulting someone in the face with an icy cold beverage first thing on a Wednesday morning, he though bitterly.

He rolled his eyes and the jock pushed out his right foot to kick Sebastian in the stomach. He hit him, but not too hard. Sebastian hardly grimaced at the pain, having gotten into much worse in drunken bar fights. He put his weight into his right hand and pushed himself off the ground, hard and fast, pushing through two of the smallest looking jocks who were wearing twin looks of confusion, clearing having not caught up with the events yet. He briefly thought about kicking the guy back, but he was way too outnumbered, and, though he was reluctant to admit it, he really didn’t want to cause any more trouble today,

They parted easily with his direction, as did the rest of the hallway. Sebastian was almost running to the unfortunate haven of math class at this point, hoping that the turn of events had been unexpected enough for the jocks to either take a short sabbatical to come to terms with it, meaning he’d be safe for at least the rest of the day or for them to have learnt their lesson not to mess with Sebastian god damn Smythe.

When he reached the end of the hallway, he turned on his heel, cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted “oops”, really working up the fake sincerity, then shrugged his shoulders again and turned the corner away from the over dramatic scene. So much for not digging his own grave.

He glanced at his watch again when he was three classrooms down from math; he only had one minute left. He cursed quietly under his breath, by now the cold drops of the slushie were beginning to spread more than he originally thought and he smelt faintly of blueberry. But hey, at least it hadn’t ruined his hair or his precious face.

He looked up and down the hall again, glanced at his watch for a second time, decided ‘fuck it’ and headed towards the restroom.

He scanned the room swiftly, and upon determining that he was alone, he chucked his bag down by the sinks, moving towards the paper towel dispensers. He looked in the mirror briefly to access the damage, and then began to unbutton his shirt. The majority of the slushie was on his back, and he could hardly dry it properly with it on.

Halfway through the task he heard the unmistakable sound of the door opening to his right, followed by a completely, undeniably recognisable high pitched remark of protest. His hands stopped cold.

“They got you again?” Kurt asked, recovering from his initial shock of finding Sebastian near topless in a public bathroom. And if Sebastian didn’t know any better he say that he detected a note of sympathy hidden under a quiet chuckle.

Kurt tried to catch his eye in the mirror but Sebastian turned to face him before he could. Which may have been a mistake. Because now Kurt had crept closer to him and was practically within brushing distance of Sebastian. And it was stepping way too far over any boundaries he thought he didn’t have to explain to Kurt.

Kurt had reached blindly for one of the paper towels and started to reach for Sebastian’s face to get some unnoticed slushie crystals from the back of Sebastian’s neck.

He didn’t get very far before Sebastian exclaimed “don’t fucking touch me!” Skipping backwards speedily and violently hitting the sink behind him. Apparently he was going to get a lot of bruises today.

This time he did grimace at the pain which shot up his spine and made him reach backwards suddenly. Kurt noticed this and took two full steps back, eyes darting straight to the floor.

“I was only trying to help. I’m kind of an expert in this field, you know? It was a reflex.” He laughed, it sounded quite self-depreciating. Kurt’s cheeks started to go slightly red, blushing at the rejection of trying to help.

“I’m fine, they missed my face, see?” He replied, it wasn’t apologetic but it wasn’t patronizing or harsh either, which must be something.

Kurt looked up then, noticing that his face was, in fact, really free of blue ice. He smiled just a little.

“First time I’ve ever heard of anyone dodging a slushie. Must have quite a talent there.” Sebastian ignored the compliment in favour of turning around to continue unbuttoning his shirt.

“Could you not?” Kurt almost yelled, but tried somewhat to keep his voice low.

Sebastian glanced sideways at him and smirked, removing the shirt completely and holding it up in front of himself.

“Oh come on!” He relented, groaning at the state of his shirt, half of which was covered in dark blue splotches that were still spreading rapidly. He looked towards Kurt again and noticed that he had his eyes pinned shut and was facing away from Sebastian.

“My god you’re such a prude.” He said, knocking Kurt on the shoulder in an attempt to get him to open his eyes. Kurt protested. “It’s fine, look I’ve got an undershirt on, see?”

Sebastian didn’t know why he was telling the boy the truth, to be honest it would probably be much more fun to leave him squirming, or even to get fully naked, but a quick glance at his watch again told him he was already four minutes late. Not that he cared.

“Seriously, Kurt, you can open your eyes. The sight of my perfectly toned, slightly tanned and completely gorgeous arms isn’t going to burn them out of your sockets.”

“For some crazy reason I don’t believe you.” Kurt retorted, turning further away.

“Well you’ll just have to trust me then, won’t you?” Kurt actually snorted at that.

“Trust you?” He snorted again; Sebastian’s smirk fell a little. “You?” He repeated, breaking out into a full on giggle fit, but opening his eyes anyway.

Relieve and just a tiny bit of shock covered Kurt’s features when he finally risked facing Sebastian. He stopped laughing and an awkward silence fell over the two. Kurt averted his eyes again, turning his attention to the clock placed behind Sebastian.

“Shit! I’m so late!” Kurt said. He reached for his bag and dashed towards the next mirror to check on his appearance which he’d already spent a good hour working on. He rubbed under his eye lids self-consciously, worry coating his expression. He pulled out a moisturizer roller-stick, glanced at Sebastian to check his attention was elsewhere, and began to dab a light coat under his eyes.

“Are you wearing makeup?” Sebastian said, with such a tone of accusation and downright judgement, that it flipped the defensive switch in Kurt immediately.

Kurt huffed and turned to face Sebastian. “Congratulations on your totally new and offensive insult. Excuse me whilst I go and cry like the little girl you think I am.” Kurt said, all smiles and sarcasm.

Sebastian stared.

“It’s moisturizer, you dumbass.”

“Sure, whatever.” Sebastian laughed.

“God, will you quit judging me already? I refuse to be the stereotype you think I am. Never had a bad day?” Kurt said, his voice slightly more strained. He closed the cap on the moisturizer and placed it back in his bag with a little more force than needed. He turned quickly on his heel, bee lining straight for the door, which unfortunately he had to pass Sebastian to get to.

“Someone’s touchy this morning.” Sebastian responded, just as Kurt’s hand reached the door handle. He turned slightly to catch Sebastian’s eye.

“Oh fuck you.” Kurt countered, it was utterly cold. “And I was just about to offer you my pocket sized stain remover to save your hideous but blatantly expensive shirt.”

It was then that Sebastian saw how truly tired Kurt was; even wearing copious amounts of concealer couldn’t hide the dark circles that rested under his eyes. It stunned Sebastian and he had no reply. Well, no reply that wasn’t ‘I’m sorry Kurt, I didn’t mean that’ or ‘what’s happening to you?’ or even more worryingly ‘Kurt what can I do to help you?’

Instead he just remained silent, and let Kurt walked out of the door.

+

The rest of the day went by without another hiccup. It didn’t fly by, per se, but nobody bothered him, nobody even looked at him. Sebastian never thought he’d be glad for the lack of attention, but he was actually pretty grateful.

A strange energy had been building between Sebastian and nearly everyone he’d encountered – even the New Directions, although that was for a completely different reason. It was clear now why that was, the entire school had been waiting for Sebastian’s luck to run out, and they seemed to be a mix of scared and excited for it.

He wondered what made these people’s lives become so boring that they live for the events of petty bullying and food fights twice annually in the cafeteria.

Kurt had even stayed completely silent during the last two periods. Sebastian had thought he’d at least crack some form of condescending smile or look of horror at the outfit Sebastian had been forced to adopt for the entire day.

After an extra fifteen minutes in the restroom, desperately trying to dry out his shirt by dabbing paper towels onto it and then pushing it under a hand dryer for a good long while, he gave up, realising he was in fact, making the situation a whole lot worse.

He regretted pissing off Kurt earlier, he could really have used some decent stain remover before it was too late. He grunted silently, cursing that stupid jock, and put the shirt in the trash. He was perhaps more annoyed at the inconvenience of having to go out and get a replacement shirt – it was a very nice shirt – than the heartbreak of such an expensive, recently bought item being ruined.

He walked back over to the mirror then, pulling at the hem of his vest shirt to make it appear more casual. The vest was off-white and made of an expensive material so he thought it could appear causal enough to look like summer wear as opposed to an undershirt. He shrugged at himself; he didn’t really have any other options, picked up his almost neglected bag and strutted out towards math.

Instead, Kurt didn’t even acknowledge Sebastian even when he slammed his bag down a little harsher than necessary. By accident, of course. He rolled his eyes at the lack of response but took his seat next to him after a particularly accusatory glare from his teacher.

It remained the same for the entire hour. Kurt replaced their usual verbal sparring battles by actually throwing himself into his work, his pen hardly leaving the paper from the moment the first bell rang until the second one which signalled the students to move on.

Kurt was always very studious, Sebastian had noted, but usually he’d take a relaxed approach to the subject, taking time to plan and think and breathe, to give his hand a break from writing and actually talking – or arguing, if Sebastian was involved – with those closest to him. He was intelligent enough to do it and still keep straight A’s, Sebastian was sure. He’d never read any of his work, but based on the creativity and wit of his insults alone, he was most definitely the cream of McKinley.

Something must truly be bothering him; Sebastian thought and then admonished himself for even noticing, never mind worrying about it. That didn’t stop Sebastian from trying to wind him up though, even if it was a one sided fight.

What was perhaps more interesting was that even by last period, where Kurt sat by Rachel, his mood hadn’t improved much. His usual quips about the last hour spent with Sebastian or comments about her narcissistic attitude because she’d just been denied the solo for this week’s group number ‘again’ were absent, from what he could hear. In fact, he could hear nothing but the whining tones of Miss-Barbra-Wannabe filling the otherwise silent conversation. He wondered if Rachel even noticed Kurt’s melancholy mood.

Perhaps this was normal. He’d only ever known Kurt to be strong willed, upbeat, confident and witty, but then again, he’d only been here for a fortnight and saw Kurt in an academic, emotionally scarring and homophobic setting twice a day at that.

He pushed these thoughts aside, growing agitated with Kurt for taking up so much of his time, even indirectly. Sebastian didn’t exactly have a reputation for being the concerned, selfless, good willed guy.

+

That evening, like every other evening for the past two weeks, Sebastian begged his father to let him return to Dalton. Each night, he came up with a slightly reworded but no less meaningful and inspiration (according to himself, anyway) speech about how he’s learnt his lesson, how he’ll never fool around again and how he finally understands the true value of graduating high school from a prestigious private school.

Of course, none of these things were actually true, except the last one. That one was becoming an increasing concern on his list, slightly below not being able to get laid as easily. It wasn’t quite that bad, yet.

The time of acceptance letters was approaching, and whilst he already had early acceptance into several colleges around the west coast, including Columbia, part of him worried that somehow the news of his lesser status at this dead-end-school-for-peasants would have reached the admissions board and they would immediately revoke his place.

He was trying harder and harder and each evening his father laughed harder and harder before refusing him and sending him upstairs.

Sebastian had even begun to promise all sorts of things he never intended on fulfilling in the eventuality of his return to Dalton. He promised to buy his father the oldest, most expensive bottle of gin from his own allowance, to wash his father’s entire fleet of vintage cars, and even to get a job one night. It was a low point in a few aspects of Sebastian’s life right now.

This evening, after his parents had finished discussing plans for their delayed spring break or whatever, he wasn’t really listening; he started on the grovelling and apologies again. Edward managed to keep a straight face for a little longer this time as he glanced at Sebastian, giving him a look of almost genuine consideration before winking at him and laughing as he sipped his wine.

“No, Seb. You may be pretty apt at maths and outstanding at French” he winked at Amelié, “but no one, not even you, can learn the life changing lesson we want for our son in less than two weeks.” He gave a smile that to those who didn’t know him would interpret as honest sincerity.

Sebastian’s face hit the table dramatically with a loud clunk. He didn’t know which was more destroying for his soul – actively apologizing night after night against his better judgement to regain some dignity of a situation which all of his control had been cruelly stolen, or having to attend that damn diversity school for Lima losers where he couldn’t shake the feeling he was losing a few hundred brain cells per day.

“We’ll sit down and review the situation in a couple of months.” Edward said whilst Amelié patted his shoulder lightly.

“But I’ll have graduated by then!” Sebastian’s head shot up.

“Really? Oh no. What a poor coincidence of timing.” He mock pouted.

“Dad. You can’t. Please, this game is getting old now. I’ll do anything! It was a stupid idea, it’s benefiting no one. You’re basically ruining my entire life.” He retorted, his face twisted in growing rage.

“Son, you were ruining your own life, that’s why we decided to do this. There are plenty of benefits! You’re home now, so we can keep our beady eyes on you at all eyes of the day, you’re facing new challenges – granted, not with the curriculum, but with the people, right? Spice up the otherwise dull walks between classes. It’s fun. It’s a learning curve!” He chirped. “I’m actually pretty sure it’s my most genius idea to date.” He added, mock whispering it as if it was a great secret.

“Those are all benefits for you and mom! Do you enjoy fucking up my life? It’s like you have nothing better to do.”

“Language, ‘Bastian.” Amelié admonished. It was the first time she’d ever spoken whilst they were ‘discussing’ the topic.

“Oh like you care.”

“Don’t take the consequences of your mistakes out on your mother, Seb.” Edward said, reaching for Amelié’s hand.

“My mistakes? Like what? Living my life? Well my sincerest apologies.” Sebastian mocked. He hated it when his parents got onto their high horses. He knew some of the grittier details of his parents past.

Amelié sighed. He had an idea that she was thinking the same thing, this was harsh and she knew it. It was ruining the family dynamic – however unusual and slightly deranged it had been. Damn his father’s stubbornness.

“You were getting out of control, your priorities were wrong. I’m only trying to do what’s best for you and your future.” Edward said, seriously.

“My future? Exactly. Don’t you think I’m old enough to make my own choices?” Sebastian replied, much calmer now that his father had stopped making a joke out of every word.

“I think you should be old enough, you’re definitely smart enough. I just think you’re… misguided.” Edward answered.

Sebastian scoffed.

“I know what I’m doing. I got early acceptance, my finances and accommodation are already sorted out for the fall. My grades are- or were, perfectly secure, and I was headed straight to captaining our team to win the national lacrosse championship. And I did that all by myself.”

Edward had no reply. In fact, Sebastian was just as dumbfounded that he’d actually managed to list achievements other than ‘most hook-ups without calling back the next morning in a single weekend’ or ‘most consecutive shots by an underage regular’ at Scandals. Which his parents did not know about.

“Well- I don’t see how being in Lima changes any of that. Besides the, you know, lacrosse.”

“You really have no idea about high school, do you? There is nothing there for me.” He didn’t want to admit that but apparently it was too late.

“I thought you were trying out for the basketball team or whatever?” Edward asked.

“Baseball. And there is no championship, well, not nationally. And you cannot compare that team to Dalton’s.”

“What about that other Warbler kid. Surely you have some common ground?” Amelié asked.

“Blaine?” Sebastian didn’t even remember mentioning Blaine around his parents. “He’s not really in many of my classes. And he’s kind of annoying and clingy; I think his loser of a boyfriend has finally gone to his head. He was mighty fine though.” He mused, more for his own benefit now than anything else.

Edward and Amelié frowned at him.

“You’ll find your place soon honey.” Amelié encouraged, reaching out to pat his shoulder again. Before she could reach across the table, Sebastian had stood up and headed upstairs to his room.

+

The next morning, Sebastian had received an e-mail from Coach Beiste that, whilst yes, it was ridiculously late in the year to be trying out for anything, she wouldn’t begrudge anyone the chance of finding a place in this vicious school hierarchy. Sebastian had wondered if she’d still give him a chance if she knew him more. No one else seemed to.

She sent details of his try-out, which was today during the lunch hour, and Sebastian confirmed his attendance. Something to pass the time, right? He wasn’t exactly settling in and admitting defeat. Not yet.

He decided to skip lunch and head straight to the locker room to get ready. He’d just changed into his oversized baseball shirt and made his way outside to the pitch, (the weather wasn’t particularly bad today, which was a plus considering how it had been rather temperamental lately), when he saw it.

He’d heard of Sue Sylvester and her reputation of ridiculously over the top, totally insane routines of military style expense that had won her seven consecutive national championships - which even to Sebastian’s low opinion of public school, was pretty impressive. But nothing could prepare him for seeing it play out right in front of him.

He heard the beat of ‘Crazy In Love’ drifting faintly across the open space, followed by a fleet of girls dressed in red and white uniforms. Several were being propelled one after another into the air and landing elegantly into the arms of three girls stood in a triangle below. They each had bright, wide, somewhat forced smiles painted across their faces, and held their positions so perfectly it was as if they would actually be killed by Coach Sylvester if so much as a hair moved out of place.

The girls had moved to form a bizarrely complex pyramid-with-a-twist, and then all movement stopped. There was a beat of silence, followed by a figure emerging right in the centre, supplying the lyrics to the extended instrumental homage to Beyoncé. He recognised the ‘girly’ overtones of voice immediately; it was the one and only, Kurt Hummel.

“Oh my god” Sebastian exclaimed.

Initially, he laughed because Kurt could not be any more of a stereotype. But then after several moments of watching from behind the bleachers, he was captivated.

He had to give it to Sue, she hadn’t lost her edge yet. Kurt was absolutely perfect for this number; his whiny lady voice surprisingly suited the song better than even Queen Bey herself. Arguably. He hit the notes in all the right places and really dramatized the song. Perhaps the most surprising thought Sebastian was unabashedly hit with was that Kurt could move. Like, really move. His hip movements would undoubtedly rival those he’d seen at the gay bars down in Columbus.

He was momentarily distracted by Kurt grabbing the waist of the Cheerio in front of him to slowly move against her followed by an overtly sexual hip shaking to realise that this was Kurt. As in innocent, romantic, Broadway loving, always the designated driver Kurt.

He couldn’t see perfectly from this distance, but either Kurt was out of his drama queen mood from yesterday, or he really was that good of an actor. He looked to be throwing himself into this performance either way, complete with a show stopping smile, as the song was drawing to a close and he grabbed the shoulder of another Cheerio. He leaned astoundingly far backwards, kicking his leg up high – and under any other circumstance Sebastian would have laughed callously in his face, drawling on about how it was the gayest thing he’d ever seen – but again he found himself slightly turned on. No.

Sebastian was sure his mouth had actually hit the floor at this point, but whether in shock or desire he did not know. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, either.

What he did know was that he seriously needed to stop staring.

But he couldn’t. It was the uniform – he was sure. It had to be. But he’d never had a thing for uniforms before, had he? He was getting ahead of himself, this was just shock.

Kurt’s voice was still travelling across the field, it was unusually high for a guy, of course, but that was no shock. He’d heard Kurt sing before around Blaine, sometimes quietly with Rachel during history class (well, Rachel wasn’t quiet), and even sometimes quietly under his breath during English. The first time he had heard Kurt sing was when he supplied the background vocals at Regionals.

It was strange how at the top of the pyramid, Kurt seemed more appreciated here, surrounded by hot, attractive, blond cheerleaders that he wouldn’t look twice at. (In fact, Sebastian thought he could see one or two cheerleaders look at Kurt in a not so innocent way), than in the mess of a diversity group he pledged his life and soul too. He was the star and the life of the performance.

His voice was soft and breathless, even angelic. His face held the same qualities; he was pale and slightly sweating, because he had belted the song out like his life depended on it. He clearly had so much talent and passion, and he really could move.

The uniform complemented him in all the right ways, the short sleeves emphasizing the rounded muscles in his arms and the tight fitting fabric stretching across his stomach, pulling in slightly at the waist and sweet hell his legs went on for days. Sebastian sort of wished that the material of the trousers was as tight as the shirt because he had seen Kurt’s ass in those jeans he favours so much and Coach Sylvester really was missing out by not showcasing that.

Still, he can’t fault anything else because the high V-neck of his shirt highlighted the lines and smooth, flawless skin of his neck particularly well, and Sebastian found his thoughts wandering again to inappropriate, sexually frustrated measures before grounding himself in the Kurt-freaking-Hummel of it all once more.

For the finale of the number, Kurt was lifted graciously upwards through a pyramid of Cheerio’s until he reached the top, closing the number on a drawn-out “love”, completely changing the impact of the original version, and definitely displaying Kurt’s amazing- no, Kurt’s shrill vocal range.

Kurt stilled after lifting both arms up into the air and after a beat of silence he heard the piercing noise of megaphone static.

“Outstanding.” Sue said which must have been rare if the shocked but incredibly grateful faces of all the Cheerios were anything to go by. They were all panting heavily and looked truly exhausted. “Now get off my pitch and hit the showers, sloppy babies.” She said, and the megaphone screeched again. Wincing at the sound, Sebastian turned back towards the pitch where his try out would take place (for which he was already slightly late). Before Kurt could get down from the pyramid and see him watching, and found Coach Beiste waving him over.

He couldn’t think of a worse or equally better place to spend the rest of his day than two hours with Cheerio Kurt. Whether that was for him or for Kurt he hadn’t decided. He’d seen some pretty decent material for their ritual verbal spars. And he couldn’t focus on this dumb try-out at all.


	5. Birds Flying High, You Know How I Feel

Sebastian had arrived slightly early to English that afternoon, in high spirits after what he considered a successful try out, obviously. He was athletic and trained at Dalton for lacrosse four times a week. Not that he cared about anything this school had to offer.

Kurt appeared to be in a better mood than the previous day, acknowledging Sebastian with an eye roll and walking with his head held high in response to the smirk he’d given him until he reached his seat. Of course, ‘better mood’ meant back to his bitchy, over dramatic self.

Kurt took his seat next to Sebastian and got out his books in silence, as usual, but then hesitated, turning to Sebastian make a comment on his hairstyle or his teeth or his clothes Sebastian didn’t really know – all he could think was how much he didn’t realise he’d missed this Kurt. He half-laughed in relief that Kurt was actually emotionally stable this time.

Sebastian debated for around half an hour whether or not to bring up what he had seen this past lunch hour. Or perhaps a more accurate way to put it was that he had spent half the lesson replaying the imagery in his head therefore rendering him unable to form coherent, offensive sentences, listen to whatever the presentation the girl was giving at the front of class, or look Kurt in the eyes.

He wasn’t even sure what he thought about what he had seen. He felt confused – not because Kurt was a Cheerio but because he _liked_ that Kurt was a Cheerio. He still felt sort of turned on, a feeling he was ungracefully made aware of pretty much as soon as Kurt walked through the door. He was kind of grateful that he’d arrived first today. He felt more than anything an intense curiosity to watch Kurt rehearsing and practicing those dance moves over and over again until they were perfect. Or to feel the polyester of that uniform which rested on his hips.

He felt annoyed and something else, disappointed maybe, when Kurt had rounded the corner to the classroom dressed flawlessly in a presumably in-season designer dark grey jumper and the skinniest of skinny black jeans, with his hair immaculately coiffed and his eyes brighter than ever, but most definitely not in his Cheerios uniform.

Then he was just annoyed at himself. And then he directed his annoyance at Kurt – because this was all obviously his fault. And then he noticed Kurt eying him sideways with a look of concern and anticipation because oh right he’d been here for thirty three minutes and hadn’t yet insulted Kurt for that clip on fox tail that was attached to the belt loop in his jeans. Seriously, it was as if Kurt’s aim was to be a walking fashion no-no.

His face must really have been something to look at because half a minute later Kurt was now full on staring at him with his mouth hanging open - just enough so that Sebastian could appreciate the softness of his lips - and a look of mild offence painting his features. It was then that he realised he’d just blurted out “where’s your uniform, babe?” in what he hoped was a low, teasing tone with traces of mocking but had the feeling sounded a little too interested and desperately soft.

Kurt was starting to blush across the tops of his cheekbones, it was a really pretty shade of pink. He broke the eye contact and looked down at his papers as if they were the most interesting thing he’d ever laid his eyes on, feigning a disinterested “what?” in reply to him.

He decided it was too late to back out now without offering a plausible explanation and pulled himself back to the present, adopting his best slightly-flirty, slightly-judging smirk and said “oh you know, the Cheerio’s uniform – the one you were wearing not two hours ago.” He slowly looked Kurt up and down but whether to tease himself or Kurt he didn’t know, and made sure to put extra emphasis on the word ‘Cheerio’ to regain the upper hand in this conversation. Kurt was clearly getting worked up over the topic.

Kurt’s eyes had shot up at Sebastian’s tone but just as quickly he scoffed at Sebastian and turned to face forward again. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed about it – he was actually really proud of being a Cheerio. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It gave him some form of popularity and whilst he didn’t consider himself the type to care about that, it was incredibly nice not to be shoved into lockers or slushied three times a week because he was that bit less of a loser. It kept him active and gave him his much deserved solos that were plentiful around competition season because though she would never admit it, Coach Sue practically worshipped him from the point he won her a sixth consecutive nationals title with his fourteen minute homage to Celine Dion sung entirely in French. He knew as well as she did that if she wanted to secure a seventh, she needed to keep him around.

Possibly the biggest benefit he’d found came with the job was how it drove Blaine absolutely insane.

“I’m a part-time Cheerio. I struck a deal with Coach Sylvester when I realised I was missing out on way too many opportunities to explore and showcase my impeccable fashion style.” And also my boyfriend literally couldn’t keep his hands off me at all hours of the day and it got to the point where both our grades and attendance were noticeably suffering because of it, he didn’t add. He was smiling perhaps a bit too wide and talking a bit too animatedly at the fond memory of winning a small yet important battle against Sue when he remembered he was talking to Sebastian.

No, Kurt wasn’t at all blushing about being a Cheerio. Perhaps it was that Sebastian Smythe of all people found this a point of interest, or more likely, maybe it was because he knew how lost he had gotten in that Beyoncé number. The routine had been a complete blur, with Kurt’s mind ten miles away from McKinley and tightly wrapped up in memories the nights before when Blaine had come round to help him ‘practice’ the dance moves in time to the final chorus of ‘Crazy In Love’.

A totally empty house and Blaine’s endless desire for Kurt in that uniform had led to entirely different hip movements and vocal runs being tested.

“Every moment is an opportunity for fashion, Sebastian. I have faith that even you could learn that lesson.” Kurt shrugged, trying to deflect the conversation back onto Sebastian and his utter lack of fashion sense.

Kurt knew he face must be beet red, now really was not the time to be bringing up those thoughts again, not during school hours when Blaine is on the opposite side of the building and especially not in the close proximity of Sebastian.

Regrettably for Kurt, Sebastian had picked up on this. He had just settled for awkwardly chuckling because he didn’t want to talk about this anymore for fear of letting just how not-hot and bothered he was about the whole thing, and he got the feeling Kurt would rather change the subject too. And then he noticed Kurt’s face becoming ten types of red rapidly and decided to fuel this fire. With sarcasm.

“That’s a great shame for America, Kurt.” He paused, purring on Kurt’s name. “It’s maybe the only time I’ve seen you look halfway decent-“ Kurt opened his mouth to protest but Sebastian carried on. “Actually no not halfway, ridiculously decent. Attractive even. No, more than that. Absolutely stunning. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Totally fuckable. It’s actually really inconsiderate when you think about it, putting me through that. God your ass though, that’s a whole category of its own isn’t it? Like, wow, Kurt. And seriously where did you learn to move your hips like that? You kept that one pretty quiet.”

Sebastian was unaware that he was in fact saying all of this out loud, to Kurt, about Kurt, in a crowded classroom full of judging, homophobic, unapproachable peers. He was unaware of the twisted horror presenting itself on Kurt’s face. He was unaware of how his tone had become more honest and desperate with want as his failed to stop this confession.

Kurt hadn’t interpreted it like that, however. He became wounded and agitated with each new way Sebastian found to describe what he thought. Petty banter and skin deep insults were all fair game, but being objectified and mocked so openly and vulgarly by someone he knew thought he had a hideous gay-lady-face was something he just couldn’t brush off.

Despite the bitchy, confident exterior and his adorably dorky, loving and complimenting boyfriend, Kurt was still about as insecure as they came. Particularly in the department of sex appeal, he felt like a baby penguin even now when compared to Sebastian.

Kurt was still gazing in Sebastian’s direction when he came back to reality; both boys had been lost in what had just happened. Thankfully Sebastian had finally stopped talking. Kurt’s eyes were glazed over and slightly watery and his mouth kept quivering as if he was trying to find some response, any response to that.

There were still eight minutes of the lesson left and it was glaringly awkward. The tension between the two boys was almost physically manifest in the small space between their desks. Neither boy chanced looking at the other.

Sebastian swallowed hard but remained still when he heard Kurt shift slightly in his seat. He twisted the pen in his hands around and around and around until it flew half way across his desk, startling him out of his reverie. He glanced sideways at Kurt, who was running his fingers through the fibres of his scarf repeatedly, worrying his bottom lip until it almost bled.

The deafening tone of the bell rang then, startling Kurt. He gathered his things and ran out of the room without even placing them in his bag first. A move he was sure to regret as soon as the hallways started filling rapidly. Neither boy really had time to process what had just happened.

+

Kurt experienced a multitude of emotions in the two minute walk from his English classroom to the auditorium. He left the room on the edge of tears, though he didn’t understand why. He was so much stronger than this, he knew better than to let people’s words bother him and could easily spit more cutting insults back at them. Besides, he’d heard so much worse from the Neanderthals that march around the hallways every day.

Yet Sebastian’s comments were digging deeper under his skin each time he repeated them in his head. A distorted sob escaped his throat and he took a detour to the restroom to calm himself down before facing Blaine and the rest of the New Directions. Blaine tended to over worry about the silliest things and giving him a reason to be in the same room as Sebastian was not something Kurt wanted to do.

Kurt stared at his own reflection with a stern expression, willing the few tears that had fallen already to end. He muttered at the reflection to “pull himself together”, wiped the corners of his eyes with the edges of his sleeves and left.

What Sebastian didn’t know was that Kurt had in fact had a lengthy debate with himself outside of his locker the day of the second slushie incident. He was holding a relatively plain button down shirt which featured a small pattern on the left side of the neck – one of his less flamboyant outfits really – trying to decide whether to drop it in Sebastian’s locker to save him the grief and humiliation of wearing that hideously inappropriate under shirt all day.

Then he remembered that it was Sebastian Smythe and he placed the shirt back in his own locker, on top of the other near half a dozen various pieces of clothing he kept, just in case of an emergency. People’s status on the high school food chain could change as frequently as their “significant others”.

In his current state of near-tears-but-late-for-Glee-club, he was 100% certain that was the right decision.

+

On his way out of school Sebastian usually walked past the auditorium. More often than not it had the wailing tones of Rachel Berry belting out some power ballad feat. the harmonized background vocals of the rest of the talented-yet-under-appreciated diversity club who dance enthusiastically around her pretending not to care that she’s the obvious favourite. Admittedly, Sebastian knew she was more talented than all of them combined – except maybe Blaine (and maybe Kurt but he’d make out with twenty two girls before ever admitted that to anyone) but still, it was unjust.

Everyone deserves their shot in the spotlight, which is precisely why he took complete control over the Warblers faster than a middle eastern dictator, making all artistic choices and giving himself all the solos – because he was the best.

This time though, as he walked by, a piano started up and Sebastian recognised the notes instantly – and instead of rolling his eyes at how committed and serious they all were for a two year old Glee club that often had more drama within it than the rest of the Lima school district combined, he stopped. His love for the song overtook him and sparked his curiosity. He tried to avoid hearing any singing whilst in this building at all costs, but he needed to see this.

He stopped walking and headed towards the doors that led to the back of the auditorium. He took two half steps into the room, the auditorium was bathed in darkness, there was only a single area of the stage offered light and there was no movement. The only sound was that piano.

A short brunette figure walked into the light, her no doubt vegan shoes clicking perfectly in time to the beat. She stopped, her head still facing downwards and began to sing. She hadn’t even opened her mouth yet and it was already incredibly dramatic.

_Bird flying high, you know how I feel,_

Rachel slowly lifted her head, putting as much of herself and her feelings into it as she could, and it was only the first line.

_Sun in the sky, you know how I feel._

_Reeds drifting on by, you know how I feel,_

_It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me_.

She paused, looking to her left and then to her right as the other members of the New Directions took their places on stage, still shadowed by darkness. A smile grew on her lips as she locked eyes with Kurt. Sebastian moved further into the room - thankfully he was still within the shadows - and took a seat on the very back row.

 _And I’m feeling good_.

Rachel dragged out the last word, building the power until the band chimed in with a powerful bass line. At that moment the auditorium lit up in shades of yellow with tones of red coming from the back of the stage, the girls wearing matching hues of yellow and oranges on beautiful dresses, each styled to suit them and the boys wearing off white suits with a rich, deep orange shirt complete with bowties and ties alike. The music was accompanied by an ensemble of chasses to the left, then back, then to the right and back.

It was a sea of perfectly choreographed warm colours.

As the next lines approached, they separated into pairs, dancing together around Santana as she took the lead.

_Fish in the sea, you know how I feel,_

_River running free, you know how I feel_.

Sebastian hated to admit it, but he really did enjoying watched Santana sing. They switched dance partners, the boys eloquently spinning the girls into the in one swift, perfect movement that reminded Sebastian a lot of how the Warbler’s used to perform before he arrived and gave them more ‘energy’. Every move had accentuated arms and graceful moves that were perfectly in sync. Blaine sang.

_Blossom in the trees, you know how I feel,_

_It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day it’s a new life for me._

The girls twisted out again, and everyone stopped still, arms straight, singing together.

_And I’m feeling good._

Sebastian couldn’t deny his feelings or shock when Kurt stepped forward to sing the next lines.

 _Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don't you know_ ,

The New Directions began moving again.

_Butterflies all out havin' fun, you know what I mean._

_Sleep in peace when day is done,_

Finn and Rachel walked around the group to the centre of the stage, singing in harmony.

_And this old world, is a new world, and a bold world._

_For me._

The power of Rachel’s voice on the last line was undoubtedly breath-taking. Love her or hate her, boy that girl could sing. She clutched her chest and gave it her all as if she was performing for a stadium full of people.

Sebastian wasn’t in awe or their performance, per se. He knew that the Warbler’s performance at Regionals had been a quality example of epic showmanship and synchronicity, but there was something about this group. Something he thought, if only for a fleeting second, would be what allowed them to win a National championship.

Everything about them right down to their very core was simultaneously incredibly different yet so incredibly in sync. Their outfits, for example, were themed and usually only ever the exact same during a competition of course. But even they, in a way represented how they liked different things, suited different styles, but united in what they loved – performing.

Each and every member (except that rich girl – he’d heard her “warming up” before Regionals) brought a unique voice to the group: Rachel and Finn were the leaders, Mercedes was the last note powerhouse, Santana was the feisty, confident one, the guy in the wheelchair apparently only liked white rapping – terribly. Blaine was the dreamy showman with the perfect ass, and Kurt was the versatile, underappreciated emotional heart. Even with such a range of talent they still managed to work in perfect tandem.

What the She-Queer-a’s blonde and the Asian guy lacked for in vocal power they definitely made up for in moves. Sebastian was pretty jealous that the Warbler’s didn’t have anyone like that who he could take advantage of. Maybe then they’d have beat the New Directions at Regionals. They kind of knew what to showcase when it came down to it.

He didn’t understand how or why, but the more time Sebastian observed Kurt, properly at home in the setting with a group of people who adored and encouraged him to be who he was, the more he was honestly and truly fascinated by him. Kurt was never like that around Sebastian, probably because Sebastian was a complete asshole whenever Kurt was near; no that was definitely the reason.

It wasn’t really until that very moment that Sebastian felt a strong need to get to know _that_ Kurt, the one he was still watching now, even though he was at the very back of the stage, dancing with Mercedes.

The song drew to a close, and the sharp echoing sound of Mr Schue’s claps filled the otherwise empty space.

“Amazing, guys.” He bowed his head.

Most of the club began to gather their things and leave the building by the stage exit, but Rachel and KurtandBlaine remained. Presumably to practice another song where Rachel would steal the lead and the final ‘jaw dropping’ note, and Blaine would harmonize with her, leaving Kurt to provide back up. Because their voices were louder, not stronger.

As the beat sounded up, Sebastian found himself growing agitated on Kurt’s behalf with that fact that he was right in every way. It was also then that he realised how much he’d actually enjoyed hearing Kurt’s voice solo. It was powerful and breath-taking and ridiculously versatile. It was easily the only one in the club to even match or surpass Rachel’s. He had so much more potential than anyone except Coach Sue (of all people) seemed to give him credit for.

Kurt didn’t look agitated though, as he gazed lovingly into the eyes of the former lead Warbler as if nothing in the world was more precious. It was sickening. The trio all had their hands joined, singing in harmony yet another song which expressed how truly happy they were to be going to Nationals – again – so they can lose in spectacular style - again.

Sebastian’s inner monologue sounded pretty warped and bitter. It was justified bitterness though. He had made so much effort to play nice after everything that happened – and it was totally genuine. For perhaps the first time in his life, Sebastian had felt guilt for the role he played in pushing that Karofsky kid that much further over the edge.

He had even managed to push whatever negative feelings he’d felt about causing Blaine so much pain to the extent of surgery. It was his own fault, he shouldn’t have got in the way, it was meant for Kurt and he threw it in the direction of Kurt and that was that. Blaine was simply collateral damage.

And it wasn’t as if he hadn’t actually stopped and actively tried to change his ways. He meant what he said in the Lima Bean that day: “it’s all fun and games, until it’s not”. That was Sebastian’s mantra, so to speak. Live life, enjoy life and ignore the consequences.

But he’d had a brush with real human emotion and sure it brought him back down to earth and made him rethink his mantra but then they lost regionals and he was seven types of embarrassed. He had to face the wrath of the Warblers for failing for yet another year not to beat the New Directions, he was pissed that he destroyed the Finn photos and couldn’t follow through on his threat, he was gutted that he wasn’t going to Nationals because he really thought they could do it. His parents just thought it was hilarious that he actually seemed to care so much about something.

He hadn’t felt as humiliated in a long while standing on that stage watching KurtandBlaine prance around happily whilst the Warblers had to maintain their gracious show faces and accept the second place trophy. But he did still try. For around two weeks.

And then it got boring, and boredom was the principle thing that drove Sebastian to do reckless things in life.

But then things just began to get worse and worse. The Warbler’s resorted to nursing home shows and other charity events, plus Sebastian’s favourite hook-up decided “it wasn’t what he was looking for any more”.

Sebastian found himself spending double the time in Scandals after that, to escape how mundane his life had become. Thus resulting in his father finding him two weeks later sprawled head first through his bedroom window, legs half in, half out. Practically passed out from the sheer energy it takes to climb up the deceptively strong vine leading to his balcony. Plus alcohol. Which finalised his transfer within the week.

So screw being the honest, caring person who tried (relatively) hard for around three weeks and put other people’s happiness first. It got him nowhere. In fact, it got him to the one place he really didn’t want to be.

Sebastian realised thirty seconds too late that their song had finished, and that the trio were now making their way up the side staircase toward the back of the auditorium. Or in other words, right towards him. Kurt and Blaine had their hands joined as Rachel giggled alongside, leaning slightly into the taller boys side as he complemented her performance. He could pinpoint the exact moment they noticed him, face cast half in shadow on the back row of the auditorium from the lack of sound that followed.

Blaine was the first to speak. “Sebastian?”

Sebastian cleared his throat and shifted slightly.

“Sebastian hey! How long have you been here?” Blaine asked. His innocent, genuine smile would have warmed his heart (or his crotch) four months back. But not now. His eyes flitted to him briefly.

Blaine’s smile faltered a little when it became clear that he wasn’t going to get a reply. And he thought he saw Kurt tug on their hands a little in response. Ugh. Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“Long enough to see you butcher one of my all-time favourite songs. Really pitchy hobbit. I’m quite distraught.” He smirked at Rachel. More like pitch perfect. Though it was way too easy to wind Rachel up, she became flustered and over emotional at the drop of a hat. He took great pleasure in watching her straighten her back and push her nose up at him, sweeping a stray piece of fringe behind her ear.

She opened her mouth to reply but Kurt beat her to it.

“Remind me again which one of us if going to Chicago this year to compete at Nationals for the second time?” Kurt blinked, tilting his head slightly to the left.

“Oh please. That was a total fluke and you only won because we let you.” Sebastian replied.

“You let us win?” Kurt deadpanned.

“Rachel shouldn’t have competed if we were going by the original plan.” He shifted his weight. “So really it’s thanks to my kindness that your little star here got to shine.”

“That was an unacceptable act of show choir terrorism!” Rachel stepped forward, pointing at Sebastian as if to emphasize her point.

“Are you serious right now?” Kurt placed his hand on Rachel’s shoulder to calm her, and she laid her hand over his in return. “You did one barely moral thing, in a plan that meant you would’ve cheated to win anyway. Either way, we were still better. You lost your charm and any class you had when you lost Blaine.”

Blaine swooned slightly at the mention of his name, trying to contain a smile.

“Anyway, Blaine spoke to you after the show. You publically congratulated us on our win on stage. I don’t understand what changed; I thought you’d had some kind of ‘life epiphany’.” Kurt added.

“People change. It got boring.” He shrugged.

Kurt tilted his head to the left again, but this time it wasn’t in a psychopathic rage, it was in curiosity. The conversation was bordering on interrogation and Sebastian felt trapped. But he couldn’t think of a witty response, his mind was totally blank.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding my texts?” Blaine asked. He sounded hurt and a little disheartened.

“You’ve been texting him again- Blaine.” Kurt pinched his fingers to his nose and breathed out heavily. “I thought we’d been through this-“

“I was just helping him try to fit in.” Blaine replied, throwing his arms up in defence. “He looked lonely.” He shrugged.

Sebastian scoffed.

“To be honest he does have a point.” Rachel spoke up, hand on her hip. “I’ve never seen you eat in the cafeteria with anyone except during that first week when you followed around that strange looking swimmer, and beyond that you never talk to anyone in class and you haven’t joined any clubs-“

Sebastian looked to the floor, growing agitated by how much they’d noticed.

“We’re just concerned for you.” Blaine cut in.

“Still?” Kurt asked with heavy tones of disbelief in his voice.

“I thought he’d changed!” Blaine replied, eliciting a small breathy laugh from Kurt.

“They’re right though. Blaine offered for you to sit with us, hell we even agreed that you could join Glee club when we saw how hard it was for you.” Kurt said in a tone which was either genuine concern or petty sarcasm.

“I’m fine. I’ve got plenty of friends here” the word felt strange coming out of his mouth, “the baseball team have lorded me as a visionary seen as I can actually hit the damn ball.” The last part was true, the state of the team was appalling, Sebastian could hardly believe that any of them had made the team – though he supposed there wasn’t much of a choice.

This time it was Kurt who scoffed. “I think you’re definition of ‘friend’ may be a little off.”

Sebastian wanted to be offended but Kurt was right, he felt an aching pang in his chest – it had been so long since he had a proper friend that he had forgotten its meaning. He really missed his brother right now; he made him feel less broken.

“Yeah, well, I don’t need ‘friends’, I’m fine the way I am. Fewer feelings, fewer consequences. It’s a great life, you should try it.”

“It’s okay to admit you’re lonely here, Sebastian. We all know you don’t want to be here.” Blaine uttered.

“God, will you get off my back already!” Sebastian exclaimed, he was growing tired of Blaine’s constantly, never wavering nicey-nicey bashful school boy persona. It was exhausting.

Blaine took half a step back, shocked by the outburst.

“Sebastian, you’ve been slushied at least twice since you arrived here. That’s not a trait of someone who sits on the top of the heap.” Kurt pointed out.

“Well I don’t need you or your stupid loser glee club to take pity on me and rescue me from my poor unfortunate life.” He retorted.

“Then why were you watching us rehearse?” Kurt asked, stopping Sebastian cold. Because he didn’t actually have an answer. Sure, because it was one of his favourite songs, but he should have ran in the opposite direction if he wanted his ears to remain unscarred from their horrific cover.

“I told you, I really love that Muse cover. I wanted to see if justice could be done, but obviously not I mean have you heard them? Have you heard yourselves?” He laughed.

“If it was that bad then why did you stay through the whole song? And then why did you stay and watch our song?” Kurt gestured between the three of them.

Sebastian opened his mouth but closed it just as quickly. He’d stayed to watch Kurt, to figure him out some more. This hot, cheerleading, strong, sarcastic boy with the face of an angel. But he’d jump in front of a moving bus before ever admitting that to anyone. Especially not the man himself. Though it might wind his boyfriend up pretty good, he thought.

“Another personal favourite.” _I wanted to hear your voice_. He shrugged. Kurt raised his eyebrows but didn’t question it any further.

Rachel nudged Kurt. “Can we go now?” She asked.

Kurt looked down towards her and nodded.

“Have fun at your convention for overrated talentless annoying Jewish girls with beak noses and superiority complexes in that hobbit hole deep, deep underground where your kind belongs.” Sebastian smiled, face pointed towards the stage and his expression unfocused.

Rachel pushed past Sebastian with as much force as her small frame could muster, evidently trying to generate some kind of storm out. Blaine quickly followed whilst Kurt’s eyes lingered a little on Sebastian’s. He stared, searching but unsmiling for a few moments too long, his eyes striking against the backlit auditorium.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Kurt asked.

The moment felt crystallized and Sebastian felt like a small insect under a child’s observation glass. It was unnerving given that Sebastian was usually the one instigating the uncomfortable staring. Yet right now, he felt like the very presence of Kurt made him vulnerable and that his every thought was instantly readable.

Sebastian didn’t like that. But he couldn’t say anything, he could barely move. He was only half aware of what he’d said but he knew it was cutting. It was like a reflex, he had to have the last word, always.

Almost as soon as the moment had started, Kurt broke the eye contact and walked briskly past him with more grace than he thought humanly possible. And Sebastian totally did not feel a powerful jolt of electricity course from the back of his hand right through his spine to the tips of his toes when Kurt flew by, brushing him by a millimetre. Not at all.

“Fuck.” He whispered.


	6. Green Plastic Watering Can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian auditions to join the New Directions.

"Hey stranger." Sebastian approached the lunch line, pushing in-between two sophomores to stand next to Kurt, much to their dismay. Kurt looked up at the endearment, rolling his eyes when he saw Sebastian smirking back at him. He turned to face forward, pushing his tray harsher than necessary.

"Fuck off Sebastian." Kurt glanced back over his shoulder, forcing a smile.

"What's with the cold shoulder, babe?" He asked, nudging Kurt's arm lightly. Kurt stared back with a cold, confused expression; he broke the contact after a moment, turning back to the line without replying.

"Well someone got out of the wrong side of bed this morning." He said to Kurt's back, who turned to face him again.

"What are you doing, Sebastian?" Kurt asked with nothing but annoyance in the tone of his voice.

"What do you mean _'what am I doing'_?" Sebastian mimicked his tone; Kurt rolled his eyes and moved down the line reaching for a small bowl of salad. "I'm getting my lunch." Sebastian shrugged, leaning over Kurt just a little too much to be invading his personal space to grab an apple, brushing his arm. Kurt stiffened slightly at the contact before tutting and moving along again.

"You're acting like we're friends or something. We're not friends, Sebastian. Last time I checked you constantly go out of your way every single day to wind me up." He sounded more exhausted than annoyed.

"And you do the same right back, darling." Sebastian smiled, the endearment flustering Kurt and feeling like a fond pinch of the cheeks. He reached with all his concentration for a probably undercooked plate of chicken. "That's what I call a beautiful friendship."

Kurt clenched his jaw, letting out a long breath. He was determined not to play the game, he just wanted to get some food, and go and sit with Blaine.

“Well you have a warped idea of what constitutes as friendship.” He placed a slice of cheesecake onto his plate, muttering thanks to the lunch lady as he passed.

Sebastian grabbed the last plate of cheesecake, almost dropping it in the process and then ran after Kurt. “I prefer to think of it as non-traditional, less clichéd, twice as exhilarating. You know?”

“No, I don’t know. See, this is why you don’t have any friends.” Kurt said, holding up a spoon and using it to gesture at Sebastian’s form to emphasize his point.

“That’s not true-“

“Those hook-ups you find in Scandals do not count.” Kurt interjected, heading to the cafeteria.

“I was actually going to say I’m just extremely picky about the company I keep. And I’ve already told you, I don’t need friends.” He argued, picking up some cutlery and following Kurt.

“Everybody needs someone, Sebastian. Even those who don’t deserve it.”

“Well not me.”

“That’s probably a blessing actually. I couldn’t list on one hand the amount of people that could _tolerate_ you.” Kurt spat back, not stopping his brisk pace.

“I know plenty of people who could. And do. You’re _boyfriend_ for one.” Kurt stopped short just inside the room full of loud shouting teenagers, grinding his teeth. He knew he only brought up Blaine in an attempt to agitate him further. But pigs would fly before he gave Sebastian the reaction he wanted.

“Oh please, Blaine only talks to you because he _pities_ you.” He threw Sebastian an equally pitying look.

“That’s not what he said in our texts.” _When in doubt, go offensive_ he thought.

“You do know I’ve read all those texts, right? He was nothing but polite, if he replied at all.” _Damn._

“Sounds like you’re a wee bit controlling there.”

“No. No, you know fuck all about our relationship.” He breathed, stepping closer to Sebastian until he was barely two feet away.

“I know that you’re an” _exceptional, gorgeous man who I’m 99.8% sure is actually a fallen angel which would explain why you’re so blinding to look at_ “uptight talentless princess who for some incomprehensible reason landed an adorably hot yet dumb sighted Warbler.” He said, stepping into Kurt’s personal space once more.

“None of that even makes sense.” He didn’t back away, instead leaning in closer, his eyes searching Sebastian’s face.

“Just like your relationship.” Sebastian kept his features serious, keeping the eye contact.

“You’re so funny.” He laughed, harsh and forced.

“I try.” He took a step back, lowered his head as if to bow. The cheesecake slid off his tray, shattering on the floor. Kurt’s laughter turned genuine, his eyes squeezed shut in amusement. Sebastian looked from the floor to Kurt, who had spotted Blaine and Rachel waving to him from the far corner of the room.

 “Wait.” He called after him.

“Seriously? Do you want something from me?” Kurt asked, his agitation returning fast. Sebastian grappled hard for something to say.

“I really don’t understand you, Sebastian.” Kurt went on when Sebastian just continued to stare. “You do nothing but make fun of me and try to steal my boyfriend and when you’re not doing that, you wouldn’t even give me the time of day. You’ve been here, what, a month almost?” He took two steps closer in lieu of raising his voice. “I’m pretty sure if we didn’t sit next to each other in English, I’d never see you at all.”

“What a world that would be.”

“Exactly, I’m so glad you agree. Now please, I’d like to enjoy the rest of my lunch now by ignoring your existence if you don’t mind.” He said, attempting for what felt like the hundredth time to go and join his best friend and boyfriend before his chicken got off the plate and joined them first.

“See you in English, then.” He shouted after him.

“Whatever.” He called back, not listening.

The conversation was still weighing on Kurt half an hour later. It had been so disjointed and contradictory; he couldn’t make heads or tails of it.  He scanned the room for Sebastian, worrying his lip. He couldn’t find him. Sebastian didn’t really frequent the cafeteria to Kurt’s knowledge, but then he’d never really looked for him. He’s eyes flitted back to where he’d just been stood with him when he felt a tug on his hand. He shook the thoughts from his mind, smiling as Blaine squeezed his hand under the table, it wasn’t worth thinking about.

Sebastian replayed the encounter over and over in his head as he sat on the edge of a bench in the courtyard, having discarded his lunch after Kurt was settled with Blaine and Berry. He felt like he still had a few witty insults to wind them up with, but then Blaine was looking at Kurt like he hung the moon and leaning into his shoulder and Sebastian just walked out as fast as he could. He dropped his head into his hands, cringing at every moment he recalled his response.

Truthfully, he’d spent the majority of the past weekend brainstorming ways to start a conversation with Kurt. And thinking about Kurt in general. And wondering if he’d felt the same spark in the auditorium on Friday as he had. And really really hoping that he had.

Everything was so confusing and frustrating and really damn annoying. Thinking about Kurt took up way too much of his day already and his presence wasn’t even required. When Sebastian took Cas out for a walk on Saturday morning, he spent two hours sat under his tree, watching the bench where he’d seen Kurt a few weeks earlier. He’d brought his book and a toy for Cas, but he didn’t even glance at them. He barely took his eyes off the bench for more than five seconds, like if he kept his attention there, maybe Kurt would magically appear and Cas could go bother him again and Sebastian would have to intervene and then “oh sorry, hey how’s it going?”  He reread the same paragraph in his book more than a dozen times over.

Kurt was so far under his skin and they’d barely even interacted for more than five minutes in the past month. He didn’t understand then why he was so drawn to Kurt. He’d always been drawn to him since that very first day when he realised Kurt gave back as good as he got. It was so refreshing to have a challenge like that.

But this was so different. Something between them had changed. He didn’t know exactly which point or why but he was sure it was 100% Kurt’s fault. He hated Kurt and Kurt hated him and they exchanged hilariously intelligent and offensive insults whilst he wound him up further by mocking his voice, his face and by trying to get into his boyfriends pants and that’s how this worked. Except it didn’t, not anymore.

He wouldn’t spot Blaine in a room full of people unless Kurt was stood by him. He wouldn’t text Blaine inappropriate texts at three am anymore. He wouldn’t hang around the Lima Bean in hopes of seeing his favourite Warbler to buy him coffee. Though the last one was more due to him not wanting to see all the other Warblers out of shame. The worst was that sometimes he even felt guilty _for hours_ after worrying he’d gone one step too far (which happened way too frequently) during English.

Sebastian let out a noise of frustration, pressing his face further into his hands as if to physically force these thoughts away.

“Hey, are you okay Seb?” Sebastian’s eyes shot up at the nickname, he didn’t recognise the voice.

“What?” He used his hand to shield from the sun as he looked up at the figure.

“You look a little… green.”

“I’m- I’m fine.” He replied dismissively. The figure shifted his weight, moving out of the sun so that Sebastian could see his face clearly. It was the blonde boy who sat in front of him in history. The same blonde boy who he’d dropped just three days into his stay here after a clichéd but no less hot make out session in the bathroom during history class on the second day. And the same blonde boy whose name he couldn’t remember. The boy moved to touch Sebastian’s shoulder.

“Are you sure?” Sebastian didn’t reply. After a lengthy silence the hot-blonde-guy continued. “We haven’t spoken in a while. What’s up with that? I thought we were starting to get on _great_.”

Sebastian laughed a little uncomfortably, staring ahead. Blondie moved to sit by Sebastian on the bench, relaxing comfortably.

“Yeah I’ve been super busy, can’t transfer mid-semester without having crazy amounts of work to catch up on.” He lied. “It’s pretty shit.” That part was true.

“Oh. Of course.” Sebastian glanced sideways at blonde guy, who had scrunched his face up in thought, it was kind of cute. “Do you need any help?” He seemed to hesitate.

“Thought you were ‘really behind’ yourself.” He repeated to words back to him. He laughed to himself at being able to remember in detail the conversations they’d had but for the life of him could still not remember his name.

“Yeah I-“ He started, sighing deeply when he couldn’t figure out how to word his feelings.

“You?”

“Look. I’m just trying to be a friend. You seem like a really cool guy and I just notice that you spend a lot of time on your own.” The boy rushed to finish. Sebastian felt the familiar pang of offensive, he bit his tongue.

“I don’t need you to pity me.” He said slowly.

“No, no, no. I just- I mean-“ Sebastian loved it when he had this effect on people, he smirked to himself. “I just thought we could have had… something.” Sebastian turned sharply to face him, blondie’s cheeks were reddening just a touch. “As friends, as friends I mean.” He raised his hands defensively, Sebastian laughed and the boy rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“Sure. Friends who make out in closets during class.”

“We- no. That was-“

“Oh come on, nobody can resist this.” He gestured to himself. The guy opened his mouth but closed it again just as quickly. He laughed awkwardly. “Do you want something?” He added, he guessed this must have been what Kurt felt like in the cafeteria. _Kurt_. He was overwhelmed by the need to be alone and he felt the metaphorical spikes growing on his exterior.

“I just wanted to know if you wanted to come and sit with us.” He gestured across the courtyard to a large group of guys crowded around a bench, laughing. None of them looked over but Sebastian recognised a few other faces.

“I’ll pass this time buddy.” He shook his head, leaning to rest his head in his hands again. He didn’t explain further and he didn’t apologize. He waited for the blonde boy to leave, seriously though, _what was his name?_ Sebastian’s already agitated mood meant things that wouldn’t usually bother him suddenly became ten times more frustrating.

“Oh.” Was all he said. He moved to get up, Sebastian kept staring at the ground. At that moment, two pairs of feet passed by, one complemented with designer boots and the other missing socks. Sebastian didn’t need to be a genius to know who it was, he curled his arms further around himself then pinched himself in the arm hard when he realised how pathetic he must look. His irritation grew.

“Robin!” The name was called from the group sat at the bench, beckoning him to return. Blonde boy raised his hand to acknowledge them.

 _Oh yeah._ Sebastian thought. “See you around, Robin.” He tried in an attempt to prompt blonde boy, _Robin_ , to leave. He kept his voice monotonous and distant.

Robin got the hint because he stood then, waving to Sebastian as he jogged back to his friends. He looked off in the direction the feet had walked, stopping when he spotted _KurtandBlaine_ leaning against a tree in the shade. They were clearly having another moment, that much was clear. He kind of wished they hadn’t dropped Blaine’s long lost tragically another sibling. Their hands were clasped tightly together and Blaine was leant on the crook of Kurt’s shoulder, his eyes squinting as he laughed at something Kurt said. Sebastian rolled his eyes so far back into his head he was sure it did damage. _So damn cute_ , he thought and then shivered with how bitter with jealously he felt.

Kurt untangled their hands to cup Blaine’s face, lifting his head up to _look adoringly into his eyes_. Sebastian laughed at his own narration. Blaine pressed their noses together, snaking his arms around Kurt’s waist. Sebastian felt like he was intruding on such a private moment. He _was_. But he couldn’t look away. He wanted to storm over there and pull them apart.

They leaned further into the tree as if it could hide them from the world as Kurt’s lips brushed Blaine’s in the most chaste kiss he’d ever seen. They both seemed to surface back to reality then as they glanced quickly around the courtyard to make sure no one had seen and was running towards them shouting crude threats. Sebastian smiled sadly to himself. He wondered for just the smallest moment how it must feel to constantly have to restrain themselves when compared to other couples. Sebastian had never experienced that, but then he’d never been in a _relationship_.

The smurf and the hobbit smiled shyly at each other, Kurt’s hand moving slowly down Blaine’s arm until he linked their hands together again. He squeezed tightly, earning a kiss on the cheek from Blaine, this time with more confidence. They were muttering to each other but there was no way Sebastian could hear from this distance.

He didn’t realise he had his own hands clasped tightly together, subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of his left hand as he watched Kurt rest his chin softly in Blaine’s hair and watching Blaine repeat the same movement on Kurt’s hand.

~~~

It was more of a challenge than Sebastian thought to make it through the next two hours without suffering a complete breakdown. Kurt was unusually silent, probably still pissed at him for talking to him outside of designated classroom hours.

Every time Kurt clicked his pen, switched page in his textbook, checked his watch, Sebastian would catch the movement from the corner of his eye and it would captivate his attention. He tried anything and everything to get his mind off it, but it just lead to thoughts of Kurt _with Blaine_. He tried harder, shutting off his senses and practicing piano arrangements in his head, doodling nonsense at the bottom of his page, actually reading the novel he’d been assigned – but nothing worked. Sebastian was convinced Kurt was winding him up on purpose, it wasn’t a far stretch of the imagination and he probably, most definitely deserved it.

It took just twenty eight minutes before Sebastian cracked. He pushed back from his chair with a little too much force, startling Kurt and most students surrounding him.

“Can I go to the bathroom?”

The teacher, who’s name he’d come to learn was Mrs Davison, flashed him an expression full of boredom and defeat, throwing him a restroom pass.

“You’re an angel.” He said as he hurried past.

Another twenty eight minutes, a slushied face and a change of clothes later, Sebastian returned to his seat in the English class. His mood completely deflated, at least his thoughts were off Kurt.

At least they were, until Kurt whispered “have an ‘ice trip.” Giggling to himself at the pun.

“What?”

“Judging by the change of shirt and the amount of time you were gone, you either spilled red wine on your blazer piping again or you just got slushied on your way back from the restroom. Now which one seems more likely?” He smiled.

“This is the same shirt.” _It was_ , the same design. Sebastian had been smart enough to invest in replacements ever since his very public slushie incident. It hadn’t happened since though, as Sebastian worked his hardest to steer clear of the jocks, it was pure chance that they caught him today.

“It’s the same design, yeah. But the stitch line is slightly different around the cuffs and the fabric on the collar is two shades darker than your other shirt.” He shrugged.

Sebastian just gawked. He wasn’t sure if he felt embarrassed that Kurt has noticed so easily, or freaked out that Kurt had noticed so easily. Kurt seemed to realise the creepy implications of his words because his smug smile dropped and he turned back to his desk.

“I have an outstanding eye for fashion, I’m not a stalker. I have a boyfriend.” Kurt hissed before Sebastian could say anything.

“Whatever you say, Ms Priestly.” Sebastian chuckled, raising his hands in defence.

Kurt glared at him sideways.

The distance between them in history helped to resettle Sebastian’s mind. Robin kept passing scrunched up notes indiscreetly to Sebastian – which would have been cute if Sebastian was anyone other than the guy he was. Sebastian kept redirecting them to the girl on his left when Robin wasn’t looking. She was happy to write back, so Sebastian became mediator and he found it hilarious.

Sebastian only chanced glancing at Kurt once during the whole hour. He was met by a curious stare from Rachel, which turned hurt when she caught his eye. He winked back.

Picking up his bag, he was struck by an idea; _try out for Glee club_. Nope. No way. Never. He argued with himself. _But it’s your only chance to get closer to Kurt_. The voice argued. It’s a stupid idea. And who says I want to get closer to Kurt. _Who are you kidding? I know you better than you know yourself_. I hate Kurt. _Whatever_. He left the classroom. I do. _Okay_. Good. There was no argument, he smiled to himself, he’d won this internal monologue battle.

He was just about to pass the choir room when the voice spoke up again. _Do it._ No. _Okay, walk on straight past and out the door to your boring life then_. You think joining Glee club will make my life less boring? _Obviously, Kurt is there, dummy._ This is stupid, who am I even arguing with? _Me_. Right. _Oh look_ \- Sebastian looked right and saw the Glee club taking their seats – _they’re going to start without you._ That’s because I’m not in the club. He sighed heavily and stormed past the door as if to prove a point to the voice inside his head. _Okay_. The voice said after a silent pause. Something about that ‘ _okay’_ didn’t sit right with Sebastian, and before he consciously knew what was happening he was already standing back at the choir room door.

~~~

“Okay, who’s going to start us off this week?”

“I will.” The voice came from just outside the choir room, where the door lay slightly ajar.

Sebastian sauntered into the room, his hand raised halfway in the air. An audible sigh came from a corner of the room. Kurt. _Don’t look at him. Don’t do it._ Rachel, sat to his left, wore an expression of apprehension and offense, whilst everybody else just looked confused. Mr Schuester didn’t seem to recall who he was.

“Hi…” Mr Schue walked towards Sebastian with his hand outstretched.

“Sebastian.” He replied smoothly, meeting his eyes with a deceptive smirk.

“Sebastian.” Mr Schue echoed. “Are you here to try out?” He asked, with an air of pride and pleasant surprise.

“I am.” He said, dropping his hand to shove them in his pockets. He almost looked _nervous_.

“Fantastic!” Schue exclaimed, clapping his hands together and gleaming at the rest of the group. Rachel and Kurt crossed their arms when he caught their eye. Mr Schue’s brows knitted together. “Guys?”

“Mr Schue. We can’t let this scheming, dishonest _rodent_ into our sacred choir room.” Rachel exclaimed, hand on her heart.

“After everything he’s done to us you welcome him with open arms?” Blaine chipped in, pouting to the extreme.

“Guys!” Mr Schue exclaimed, looking slightly embarrassed. “What’s gotten into you?” He said in a quieter tone. “I thought we were past this ‘preserving the family’ thing? You’re being a little overdramatic.”

Santana reached for Brittany’s arm, gawking at him. One more comment and she would be out of that chair.

“Mr Schue, this is more about ‘preserving the family’s safety’.” Rachel replied, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“What are you talking about?” Schue’s brow furrowed.

“You really don’t remember?” Kurt asked, raising one eyebrow in disbelief. Mr Schuester opened his mouth as if to reply, glancing towards Sebastian out of the corner of his eye.

“He almost blinded my boy Blaine not two months ago.” Puck said, pointing aggressively at Sebastian and directing him a look that Sebastian was sure was probably meant to be threatening. Blaine waved his hand as if discomfited by the acknowledgement. Schue looked to Blaine, an apology forming on his face.

“This is the Warbler that caused us all that grief at Regionals?” Mr Schue asked.

“The very same.” Kurt muttered, still not looking at Sebastian.

“I didn’t realise.” He said, looking guiltily in Sebastian’s direction. He hadn’t moved much for the entire exchange, he wasn’t at all expecting a warm reception of open arms and smiles and “ _we’ve been waiting for you to come and audition, welcome to the family!”_

“Were you even _at_ Regionals? He sang lead.” Santana exclaimed, exasperated.

A light bulb seemed to appear above Schue’s head then, then mist had been cleared and he spun to face Sebastian, former Warbler. A second or two passed before Mr Schue’s face broke into a smile.

“Your performance was incredible, you’ve got a great voice. I really loved the choreography.” He confessed, all in one breath.

“Thanks? It was an inspired idea.” He replied, gesturing towards Blaine and smiling at him bashfully. “Blaine is a hard act to follow, I was just trying my best.”

“Of course, of course. Well you seemed to do a pretty great job of it.” Schue beamed.

“Alright that’s enough ass kissing I thinks. Please restrain yourself before I puke.” Santana stood, approaching the pair. Mr Schue looked shocked to be addressed by a student in such a way; but Santana just waved him off rolling her eyes. “What are you doing in here Chuck E. Cheese?” She stopped six inches from his face and Sebastian took half a step backwards at the rapidness of it. Despite being much shorter, she was the more intimidating of the two.

“I want to audition for your little Glee club here.” He answered innocently, batting his eyes at her for added effect.

“And why would you want to do that? You’ve paid us absolutely no attention for weeks. So why now?” She questioned, narrowing her eyes.

“Can’t a guy as talented and charming as me try out for a show choir group without any underlying motives?” He challenged, keeping the innocent softness in her voice.

“No. Not you. We know you Smythe, you always want something and you’re always plotting to get it.” Santana poked her finger at him.

“I resent that.” He protested, dropping his jaw and placing his hand over his chest as if deeply insulted.

“Oka Santana, let’s everybody calm down.” Mr Schuester interjected, putting his hand lightly on Santana’s shoulder. She shrugged it off but returned to her seat by Brittany.

Sebastian took a breath and straightened his posture. “Look, quite frankly, I’m a better performer than all of you, and you need me if you want a chance in hell of winning Nationals this year.”

By the time he’d finished speaking, even Schue looked offended.

“Excuse me?” Rachel raged.

“Wait – which one of us just won Regionals, crushing the other?” Kurt quipped, his tone dripping with ‘fuck you’. Sebastian looked in Kurt’s direction, it was the first time he’d directly addressed him since he walked in. Kurt responded by tilting his head to the left whilst smiling. Sebastian’s brain halted and he couldn’t think of a retort.

“Fluke.” He finally said, knowing it was a pretty pathetic response. They knew it too. He readjusted his stance, shoving his hands even deeper in his pockets. “Okay. I just really-“ _miss performing, miss having friends, miss fitting in_ , “-wanted to see how you’d all react. Gotta say it was worth it.” He winked at Santana. She scoffed.

“Okay. We’ve wasted enough precious time on this I think.” Schue clapped his hands together again. Sebastian was expecting them to kick him out any moment. He’d never admit it out loud, but he actually did kind of like the idea of being in the New Directions. A very _(very very)_ small part of him even admired them. The half dormant not-a-jerk part of him that seemed to surface occasionally had put two nights worth of thought into planning for this moment – song choice and all.

“Sebastian.” He started, turning to face him yet again pulling him out of his thoughts. “Why don’t you show us what you’ve got and then we’ll make a _group decision_.” He emphasized, addressing the rest of the room. “We really could use all the star power we can find if we want to get that first place trophy this year, guys.”

No one in the room look at all thrilled by the idea, but they conceded defeat to Mr Schue as Santana relaxed further into her seat and Kurt leaned into Blaine.

“Whenever you’re ready, Sebastian. I’m presuming you prepared something?”

Sebastian appeared stunned but nodded. 

“Well, this is er- my go-to song I guess.” He said, moving towards the microphone set up in the centre of the room. “Actually, hold on one moment.” He added, dipping out of the room and returning with an acoustic guitar decorated sparsely in cursive black font. “I brought this along, is that okay?” He looked towards Schue, who looked pleasantly surprised and nodded.

He strummed a few notes, and cleared his throat. Was he nervous, again? Why did this keep happening? He took a breath and began strumming again. He thought he’d stick to the best, British rock bands.

_“Her green plastic watering can_

_For her fake Chinese rubber plant_

_In the fake plastic earth”_

His posture was rigid as he moved even closer to the microphone and his eyes slipped closed.

_“That she bought from a rubber man_

_In a town full of rubber plans_

_To get rid of itself”_

When he opened his eyes he was met with Kurt’s gaze, slightly confused but also very intrigued. His eyes wandered the rest of the room.

_“It wears her out, it wears her out_

_It wears her out, it wears her out”_

As the pace picked up he leant back, offering Santana a smile and a wink.

_“She lives with a broken man_

_A cracked polystyrene man_

_Who just crumbles and burns”_

His confidence was spiralling now, the tension from his shoulders visibly draining as he moved more freely.

_“He used to do surgery_

_For girls in the eighties_

_But gravity always wins_

_It wears him out, it wears him out”_

He caught Kurt’s eye again, his smile portraying just a hint of sadness. He didn’t know if he was accidentally conveying some kind of message of meaning to Kurt. Right now he was just trying to remember the words. Kurt broke the contact quickly, gazing to Blaine, who squeezed his hand. Sebastian hadn’t noticed they were even joined. He closed his eyes again, strumming a little harder.

_“It wears him out, it wears...”_

He wasn’t sure if a band would join in now, he hadn’t even thought to see if there was a band around. But sure enough, the drum beat kicked in and he had to smile at the beauty of the moment. He adored singing this song, but he’d never had anything but his own voice and his guitar to do it. Hearing the other elements combine to recreate this made him more emotional than he’d like to admit. He glanced towards wear the sound was coming from, seeing Finn on the drums, biting his lip and smiling, the man clearly had good taste. Sebastian’s smile grew even more and he began rocking slightly from side to side in time with the beat.

_“She looks like the real thing_

_She tastes like the real thing_

_My fake plastic love”_

He lent back from the microphone again, crouching as he strummed the next notes and swinging the guitar.

_“But I can't help the feeling_

_I could blow through the ceiling_

_If I just turn and run”_

He sobered up, straightening his back and softening his voice. His gaze fixed on the back of the choir room.

_“And It wears me out, it wears me out_

_It wears me out, it wears me out”_

His eyes toured the room once more, trying not to rest in any particular place. Especially not in the corner _KurtandBlaine_ were occupying.

_“And If I could be who you wanted_

_If I could be who you wanted all the time”_

As the song drew to a close, Sebastian just concentrated on the sounds of the instruments, his mind blank of everything but the music. He smiled privately to himself once more. He enjoyed that way too much and now he felt kind of exposed.

The silence that followed the performance felt heavy, it pulled Sebastian out of his trance. Mr Schue began clapping, whether out of politeness or genuine enthusiasm Sebastian couldn’t tell. A few others joined in, a few stunted claps from Brittany were loud amongst them before Santana placed her hands on top of Brittany’s to stop her.

“Thanks, Sebastian. Could you… step outside whilst we take a vote, please?” Schue grinned at him and gestured towards the door.

“Sure thing.” Sebastian stepped back slowly from the microphone, grabbed his backpack, swinging it gracefully over one shoulder and walked out, saluting the room with a smile.

“No freaking way.” Were the first words uttered to the room, from Puck.

“I’m with Puck on this one.” Rachel agreed, caused Puck to smirk at her and Finn to glare at him.

“Man said it best.” Mike said, moving to pat Blaine on the shoulder.

“I thought chipmunks could only sing in really really high pitch. I’m confused.” Brittany added, twirling the fabric of her hat. Santana glanced at her, smiling fondly before leaning in to kiss her cheek.

“Okay… Guys he’s extremely talented. We need him to boost our chances at Nationals, c’mon.” Schue argued.

“Yeah, unfortunately that boy has talent, but it’s a moral principle, Mr Schue, he _hurt_ our family. Physically. With ice. Ice.” Santana opposed, gesturing to Blaine who sank back further into his seat. “And need I not remind you of the countless harassments and act of terrorism-“

“Show choir terrorism.” Rachel interjected.

“- _Show choir terrorism_ that he committed because he knew he wasn’t good enough to beat us. We really don’t need him Mr Schue.” Santana continued.

“And he tried to break up my boys. That just ain’t right. In fact I’m pretty sure he’s still trying to…” Puck trailed off, eyebrows deep in thought. Kurt and Blaine shared a look.

“Any positive comments? Finn? Sam?” Schue pleaded.

“It was kinda fun jammin’ with him I’ll admit. We’ve never really covered a song like that before.” Finn said shyly, with his trademark half smile. He caught the look directed to him from Rachel and quickly schooled his features. “But uh- we can’t let him in. He’s not good for the team.”

“Yeah. I mean this group is a lot of things and we’ve suffered through a lot of drama. But he doesn’t belong here. He’s a Warbler.” Sam shrugged. “No offense, Blaine.” He quickly corrected, shooting an apologetic expression Blaine’s way.

“Artie, Mercedes?” He tried.

“He’s got a voice and I know he can move but family comes first. It’s a real shame. I thought after our epic performance of ‘Black or White’ we’d turned a corner.” Artie replied. Mercedes nodded in agreement, as did Tina and Sugar.

“Blaine? Kurt?”

“I-“ He began. “We agreed to be, you know, friends, when he said he’d changed. But he hasn’t stuck to it and he’s shunned all of my efforts to help him fit in since he transferred and honestly, I just don’t think I’d feel comfortable with him in the group after everything.” He finished, worried he’d overshared and subconsciously rubbing his eye.

Mr Schue nodded sadly. Kurt still had yet to add his two cents. There were hundreds of thoughts flying through his head at that moment. The song choice, the eye contact that could only be described as _expressive_ and _longing_ eye throughout, the fact that Sebastian can play guitar, _where did that come from?_ Apparently though he must have nodded his agreement with the rest of the group, because then Schue nodded once more, muttered “alright” and moved to bring Sebastian back into the room.

“Well?” Sebastian asked timidly, Kurt thought he looked like he almost cared.

“I’m afraid it’s a no from us.” Santana smiled, taking great satisfaction in delivering the punch line. “A unanimous no.”

“Oh.” Sebastian responded, his eyes flitted to Kurt. His expression didn’t change, he’d been expecting this. “Well, see you later.” He added, waving and striding out of the room as if he’d come in to ask the time. He closed the door lightly behind him, he could hear Mr Schuester restart the lesson as chairs were shifted and they got up to rehearse.

Somewhere deep in him he felt disappointment and sadness coated with bitterness and embarrassment. He took no more than three steps before he leaned clumsily against the nearest set of lockers, his back pack clashing with the thin metal. He let out a long breath as notes from the piano started up inside the room just to his left. He closed his eyes as he sank to the floor and listened.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there. Enough time for his ass to become numb and his back to start tingling from being pressed against a locker for so long. He was also pretty certain several songs had been performed by this point too judging by the ritual chair shifting followed by three minutes of instruments followed by applause was anything to go on. Perhaps he’d fallen asleep at some point.

He heard louder shuffling from inside the room. He checked his phone, _shit_ , if he didn’t leave soon he’d definitely hit traffic on the way home. Not wanting to seek out any further embarrassment today when it could be well avoided, Sebastian got unsteadily to his feet, dusted off his jeans and began walking out of school.

~~~

Santana was waiting for Sebastian in the parking lot the next morning. She spotted his car right away and was less than a cars length away as he opened his door. He’d taken the longest route he could find to school to avoid situations exactly like this. Apparent his luck had run out.

“I’ll catch you up inside.” Across the parking lot, Brittany signalled a thumbs up to Santana.

“Are you trying to mess with my family again, McCarthy? Because I swear I _will_ go all Lima Heights on that infuriating half smirk you got going on.” Her voice was much too loud for this time in the morning. He heard Santana trailing him  and pretended he hadn’t seen her, locking his car door.

“Hey, I’m talking to you.” She quickened her pace, the sound of her heels clicking against the hard concrete of the pavement. “God you’re such an ass.” She said a little louder, Sebastian felt her grab his shoulder roughly pulling him to a halt.

“Easy tiger.” He held his hands up as she pushed him roughly against a flagpost.

“What the fuck was that about yesterday?” She demanded, with no consideration to his personal space.

“What was what about?”

“You know what. Trying out for glee club. What are you trying to achieve?” She narrowed her eyes, searching his face for any clue.

“I told you all. I miss performing.”  He shrugged as much as he could under her grip.

“We all know there’s no way in hell you’d join the New Directions unless there was something in it for you. Which there isn’t. So why?” She repeated, pressing into his shoulders again.

“I have no ulterior motive this time. I just want to sing.” For once, the words out of his mouth were true, mostly. Santana didn’t agree.

“Were you trying to sabotage our chances at Nationals? Ruin our senior year? Break up our family?” She watched his face carefully after every accusation.

“No.” His head fell back. “Will you let go of me now?” He knew he could easily push her off, he did lacrosse training three times a week back at Dalton, he just couldn’t muster the energy today to do it himself. Santana seemed to pick up on his drained aura, her brows furrowed but she relaxed her grip and Sebastian’s arm shot up to rub at his neck.

“What’s with you squishy McToushe pants?” She asked, crossing her arms. He looked down but didn’t reply. “Who are you and what have you done with Smythe?” She added, it almost sounded fond.

“It just upsets me how tragically awful you sounded in rehearsal.” He deflected.

She rolled her eyes. “Did you stay the whole time?”

“Why do people keep asking me that?” He muttered to himself.

“What?”

“What?” He echoed.

“You do know you’re acting really, really weird, don’t you? Even for you. I don’t get it.”

“Me either.” Okay he was making himself way to vulnerable. He hoped he would pull himself together before classes started otherwise he’d lose his mind before the end of the week.

Santana stared as he carried on conversing with himself silently. He noticed her look and shook himself out of it.

“See something you like?” He waggled his eyebrows. “It was only a matter of time, really. I understand.”

“Seriously, what is with you?”

“Are you _concerned_ for my health?” He brought his hand to his chest as if touched by the idea. “How sweet of you.” He pouted.

“I’m just aware you crawled from a pit in hell even deeper than I did and I’m highly suspicious of your every scampering little move.” Something in her sentence offended him enough for him to straighten up and drop his smirk.

“You really do not know me.” He said, his tone becoming more serious as he took a step towards her.

“Thought you’d gone soft of me for a minute there. Now you’re out of that, will you give me a fucking answer? I needs to know.”

“I’ve answered your questions. And if I was plotting something, I still wouldn’t tell you, I don’t break easily. So get out of my face.”

“You really are an ass.”

 “Among other things.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

She shifted her weight and refolded her arms.

He began to walk away.

“Do you make a habit of ignoring people?” She shouted after him. “You know that’s really rude.”

He smiled as he pushed the doors aside and walked into the overcrowded hallway.


	7. New Beginnings

Keeping up the appearance that he wasn’t at all bothered about his unanimous rejection from the New Directions – he was torn between thoughts of “I’m way too good for them anyway, why would I ever lower myself to that?” and “this is a low point in my life. Not even the Glee club wants me.” – so he maintained his distance from its members for the next few days.

Kurt was the exception. Though he didn’t realise it consciously at first, he’d hover around him in-between classes, when he was alone in the lunch line, when he went to the library after school one night to study. He began to think of it as a challenge, because god knows the learning wasn’t. Sometimes he’d remain quiet and just invade his personal space, breathing heavily out of his nose to irritate Kurt. He usually saved that one for during class because Kurt couldn’t escape so easily. Other times he’d constantly comment on everything Kurt was doing or saying or wearing.

At first, Kurt ignored him completely. Though after a week of Sebastian’s game, when he parked his car right beside Kurt’s navigator, making sure that the gap between their cars was just small enough so Kurt couldn’t open his door, he thought it was time to fight back. It didn’t take Kurt too long to figure out that it was Sebastian’s car though, and he supposed Sebastian was wealthy enough to not bat an eye at a $600 repair bill for an accidental dent in his car door. And he knew that the slushie incident and its resulting confession -whether forgiven by Blaine or not – was serious enough to cause Sebastian trouble with the authorities if he tried to shove said repair bill back in his face. Kurt took particular satisfaction with that victory, he only wished he could’ve seen Sebastian’s face when he saw his newly modified car, complete with a post-it note stuck to the window that read “oops - xo” in cursive.

Sebastian wished he could say he was furious, absolutely livid. But when he walked out of that door and saw the addition to his car door, he ran his fingers gingerly down it, pulled off the post-it note and rolled his eyes laughing quietly to himself. He climbed inside the vehicle before realising he was still holding the post-it, so he screwed it up and threw it on the dashboard. He passed three sets of traffic lights before the bright yellow hue of the post-it forced him to pull over. It’s a post-it note from the anonymous asshole that damaged your car and didn’t even stick around to swap insurance, he told himself, picking up the scrap and unfolding it, running his fingers over the inked “xo”. He slammed his head onto the steering wheel, eliciting a long and tired sigh.

~~~

“Sebastian that car is less than six months old what the hell did you do?”

He was lying in his bed quietly reading when his father walked into his bedroom without knocking. Sebastian didn’t look up from his book.

“Sebastian?” He father prompted.

“Some asshole decided to slam his door into mine.” He said absently whilst flipping the page.

“Who was it?”

“Don’t know. Must have happened whilst I was at practice.”

“Did you do something?” Sebastian looked up.

“How could I have done something? I was in school.”

“You always manage to do something.” Sebastian gritted his teeth.

“Aw. Thanks dad.”

“Don’t be sarcastic, son.”

“Don’t automatically assume the worst in me, then.”

“Your track record speaks for itself.”

“I love my car, why would I ever intentionally damage it?”

“I never said it was intentional.”

“So I’m just one massive fuck up to you?”

“Stop twisting my words. I was just asking.”

“Really?” He muttered.

“Really.” He smiled.

“It wasn’t my fault. I swear.” Well, not directly, he added.

“Then find out whose fault it was and make sure they give you the money for the repair.”

“Seriously? How am I supposed to do that? I’ll never be able to find out who did it.”

“Then you can pay for it.” His father replied, indifferently. Sebastian sat up straight.

“That’s not fair, dad.”

“Life’s not fair, son.”

“Can’t you just pay for it?” His father just stared.

“No, Sebastian. I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Why should I? Not my fault, not my car.”

“It’s not my fault either.”

“You’ve mentioned.” Sebastian sighed heavily and reclined again, placing the book on his face. “Sort it out as soon as you can, son. I’ll book the repair for the weekend.” His father said, and left the room. Sebastian almost threw his book after him, before concluding that it wasn’t worth it.

He reopened his book and tried to start reading again but nothing could hold his attention, so he decided to go for a drive. Cas rushed into the hallway at the sound of him gathering his keys and putting on his coat, he hated that dog’s ever present optimism, he had nothing to worry about. Sebastian patted the dog’s head affectionately but shook his head at him and stepped outside.

He drove without direction for around half an hour before the petrol tank began to border on yellow and the sun was just beginning to set.

He decided to make time for a quick coffee fix as he was only a few minutes drive from the Lima Bean. He made it all the way to collecting his coffee from the barista before he noticed Kurt, who was sat browsing on his laptop, surrounded by a bunch of papers in a booth in the corner, alone. He didn’t think twice before walking over there with a sense of purpose and determination.

“You owe me $600.” Sebastian slammed both hands and the coffee cup on the table to get his attention. Kurt’s gaze followed the hands up to Sebastian’s face.

“For what?” He asked innocently, eyes wide and curious.

“You know what.” Kurt stared. “You dented my car door on purpose, Kurt. I know it was you.”

“You have no proof.” Kurt shook his head slightly, smiling.

“This is your handwriting.” Sebastian pulled the post-it note from his inside pocket and unfolded it, shoving it in Kurt’s face. It took Kurt a moment to realise that Sebastian hadn’t thrown it away already. And another to come to the conclusion that it was probably for blackmail purposes.

“Unsubstantial evidence.”

“And what if I ask for CCTV tapes?”

“You really think this school can run decent surveillance software?” He challenged.

“You’re going to pay me that money, Kurt.”

“Oh please, I wouldn’t shit a dime for you, Sebastian. Besides, why are you so worked up? Don’t act like your family doesn’t earn that in pocket change before you’ve even had your breakfast.”

“That’s not the point.” Kurt cocked an eyebrow. “You need to pay for the damage you did.”

“The damage I did?”

“Yes.”

“I never touched your car.”

“I’m not talking about my car, you idiot. What about everything you’ve done to Blaine. To me, to the rest of the New Directions? What about all the other people you’ve hurt, intentionally or not?” Kurt waited. Sebastian had no response. “Didn’t think about that much did you?”

“Fuck you. Don’t assume what I do and do not spend time thinking about.” This time it was Kurt who was speechless at the amount of offensive in his tone.

“I can make an educated guess.”

“Oh so you’re a mind reader now?”

“I said educated. Spend one minute around you and it’s easy to see you’re a remorseless, selfish narcissist.”

“That’s not true.” Kurt raised an eyebrow. “Don’t give me that look.”

“What look?”

“That look like you know me more than I know myself. You don’t. You’re so wrong.”

“Maybe I don’t. But I know exactly what kind of guy you are.”

“If you got to know me, maybe I’d surprise you.”

“Not likely.” Kurt uttered, turning his attention back to sorting through the papers in front of them. When Sebastian didn’t show any sign of budging, Kurt pinched his nose, breathing out slowly before looking up at him again. “Anything else I can help you with today?”

Sebastian pulled out the chair resting opposite and sat down heavily. He placed his cup deliberately onto Kurt’s papers so he’d have to react.

“What are you doing?” Kurt asked, moving the cup to a clear area on Sebastian’s side of the table.

“This is the only free table.” He shrugged back. Kurt gaped, scanning the Bean for what he already knew; it was a Tuesday evening in late March, aside from the two of them and the staff, there were at most five other people occupying tables.

“You’re kidding me right?” He paused. “This table isn’t free, I’m sat here.”

“Kurt, come on. We’re friends.”

“No, that’s not really how I’d describe it.”

“How would you describe it?” He smirked, running his tongue across his teeth as he sat back further in his chair, knocking Kurt’s knee when he stuck his leg out.

“Please leave.” Kurt’s attention was back to flitting between skim reading his notes and furiously typing on his computer.

“But I enjoy your company so much.” He insisted, placing his hand over his heart in mock hurt.

“Okay.” Kurt replied, shutting his laptop, “what is you angle here?”

“Why must there be an ulterior motive for everything I do?”

“Because that’s what you do, Sebastian. You scheme and mock with your smooth voice and your dumb smirk. Hell, you could just be stood there doing nothing and I’d probably still find you shifty.”

“I’m just trying to make friends.”

“I feel like we’re going round in circles here. One day you’re ‘making friends’ and then next you’re too good for anyone. I tried to be friendly when you first transferred and you shut me out, god knows why I even bothered.” He muttered, staring at the boy opposite as if his face held all the answers. “And then, you won’t leave me alone until you’ve found every conceivable way of pissing me off. I just don’t get it, that’s not how this stuff works.”

“I was having a bad day.” He shrugged.

“Is this bad day permanent?”

“Sometimes.”

“Usually people who are trying to make friends or fit in or whatever it is that you’re trying to do, they act nice and don’t try to steal your boyfriend constantly.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes at the last comment.

“I’m not after your boyfriend, princess.”

“My point still stands.”

“You’re friends with Santana, she’s a bitch.”

“But her hearts in the right place. I’m not sure you even have a heart.”

“Ouch.” He winced.

“I just don’t trust you, okay. You change your attitude more than you change sexual conquests.” Kurt said before realising he’d just voluntarily brought up Sebastian’s sex life, and he really didn’t need the encouragement. Sebastian practically cackled for the next minute whilst Kurt just watched.

“Speaking of, where is my favourite Warbler, anyway?” Sebastian asked, looking around as if expecting the tiny man to just pop out of the restroom after this whole time.

“He’s not here.” If looks could kill, Sebastian would be dead by now.

“I worked that one out, thanks.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“Calm down, honey.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“I bet you like it when Blainey-boo calls you that.”

“I’m not talking about Blaine with you.”

“Lovers quarrel?”

“Not that it’s any of your business but we’re fine.”

Something in the way Kurt looked anywhere but straight ahead told him that they weren’t fine.

Kurt rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hands and that’s when Sebastian noticed it again - how god damn exhausted Kurt looked.

“Is something going on?”

“Oh what do you care?”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

“I’m tired, Sebastian.”

“You look it.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m just concerned.”

“You wouldn’t know what concern was if it hit you in the face.” Kurt practically spat.

“You’ve gotta stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” He asked, running his hands up his face and through his hair.

“Assuming you know me.”

“I’m not in the mood for games, Sebastian.”

“I’m not playing a game.”

“You’ve been winding me up for kicks all week.”

“You started it.”

“Are we back in kindergarten?”

“You did.” He shrugged.

“Okay. Whatever, can I move on with my life now? I have all of this to get through and less than a week to do it.”

“What is it?”

“The research assignment for history.”

“We had an assignment for history?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. I’m sure it’s piss easy.”

“Maybe it is, as I’ve always said, I’m not challenged in the least here. But I still need it to pass and get out of this cow town, so please.” He gestured towards the door.

“Why don’t we work together on it?”

“Firstly, you didn’t even know there was an assignment until about a minute ago, second, it’s an individual project to be worked on individually and third, I hate you. So no.”

“What do we have to do?”

Kurt shrugged.

“Pick a period anywhere up to fifty years and anaylze something notable that happened in it.”

“Sounds vague.”

“Extremely, I’ve spent the past two weeks just wondering what it means. I mean what are we marked on?”

“What genius thought up that?”

“I know.” Kurt said, giving Sebastian his full attention for the first time since he’d sat down and actually cracking a smile. “I’m pretty sure the guy made up the whole thing on the spot it’s ridiculous. Thank god I’m not paying for this shit.”

“Does he even know he’s a history teacher?”

“I doubt it. I’m pretty sure Mr Schuester forgot he taught Spanish for the whole first year he took over Glee club. That or he forgot how to speak Spanish.”

Sebastian laughed loudly, Kurt smiled.

“This school really is a joke.”

“I’ll have you know it’s third best in the district.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“It has it’s moments, when you’re not fearing for your life.” Kurt smiled but only with half of his mouth. Sebastian wasn’t clear on many details of Kurt’s first stint at McKinley, but he knew it was bad enough to warrant Kurt to move two hours away from home just to be safe.

He laughed nervously.

“So how are you finding public school life?”

“Ugh. Dull. So dull.”

Kurt chuckled. "I know the feeling. I miss Dalton a lot." He smiled fondly.

Sebastian was caught up then in realising that Kurt had been to Dalton, had worn that uniform, sang in that common room and probably pranced down the halls with his little Prince Charming. He felt something stir then, and it took him a moment to realise that it was jealousy. Well, shit.

"Why did come back?" He blurted out.

Kurt didn't miss the way he said 'come' instead of 'go', like he'd accepted he was in fact, a part of the school now. He looked down at his hands, debating whether to shrug or tell the truth. "Couldn't really afford the tuition." He paused, still staring at his hands for fear of being laughed out of The Bean by Sebastian 'I sleep on a bed made of $100 bills' Smythe. "Plus, I missed my friends and Glee club."

Sebastian's brow furrowed when Kurt finally looked up. "Why did you leave in the first place?"

"Um." He hesitated.

Sebastian felt like he had crossed some kind of line and then realised how personal his question actually was, and the kind of relationship he had with Kurt, and how stupid it was to ask it.

"You don't have to answer that, if you don't want to." He back tracked.

"It's fine. The past is in the past, right?" He said as if to shrug it off, but his tone had an edge of bitterness that lead Sebastian to believe it wasn't completely forgotten. He doesn't continue and Sebastian shifts awkwardly.

Each waited for the other to speak next, Kurt's hands hovered over the lip of the laptop but he pulled them away and sat back hard in his chair.

"I was bullied a lot, that much I'm sure you figured." Sebastian's eyes shot to Kurt's face where he was playing with the hem of his shirt. "The locker shoves, slushie facials, name calling and occasional dumpster tossing I could put up with." The way Kurt said it as if it was acceptable made Sebastian's stomach turn.

"How did you deal with that?"

"I didn't deal with it, that would be the wrong word. I was withdrawn, hopeless but I didn't know any different, until-"

"You went to Dalton."

"Yeah." Kurt smiles, reminiscing.

"So you left?"

Kurt was unsure to continue. "Not until my dad found out how bad it really was?"

"You mean it was worse than that?"

He sighed again, closing his eyes for a moment. "Yeah, that one of the guys that slushied you started harassing me and threatening me."

"Threatening you how?"

"He threatened to kill me." He shivered at the memory and for a brief moment, Sebastian thought he was joking.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He didn't need to ask, Kurt's expression told him the answer. "Kurt, holy shit." A wide range of emotions coursed through Sebastian, horror, hurt, pity, regret. Regret was the strongest, because he'd been such an ass to Kurt for no reason other than it was fun and Kurt was kinda hot when he was pissed.

Kurt's face was almost expressionless if you didn't know where to look. There was silence then, Kurt turned his attention back to his laptop, reopening it and typing a few words, sighing.

“What did you pick?” Sebastian said, sensing that conversation was way over.

"Huh?" Kurt frowned, confused at the subject change.

"For your project." He continued, gesturing towards the laptop.

“Looking to steal ideas, Smythe?” He teased, looking back at Sebastian.

“I wouldn’t dare.” He paused, “oh god it’s not a biography of Alexander McQueen is it?” He gasped.

“No. It isn’t.” He said, reorganising some of the sheets into a neater pile. “It’s on-" He paused to pick up a sheet that has the title of his project on, "presidencies of the United States from 1945-1980". He read from the page in a tone of fake excitement.

“I'm falling asleep already." Sebastian said, closing his eyes halfway to illustrate his point.

“But it's so captivating." Kurt joked.

"What did you really want to do?"

"I've been begging to research British Royals, or at least the French Revolution, but I got a strict warning that I'd be failed if I did seen as I've done my last four project on various monarchs." Kurt continued. "I don't even know what her problem is, it's not like I chose the same one every time." He rolled his eyes.

"That sounds more your thing." He said and Kurt smiled. "Isn't it US history?"

"You sound like the fucking teacher."

Sebastian shot him a look. "Why don't you just switch?"

"Timetable."

"Uh-huh." He smiled a bit too fondly.

"That, or maybe serial killers." Kurt mused after a moment, sipping his coffee again.

Sebastian's eyebrows shot up before he had time to school his expression.

“Really? I didn’t think that was your thing.”

“It’s a fascination of mine. There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” He shrugged.

"I bet there is." That sounded a little too close to flirting, so he cleared his throat.

Kurt smiled to himself before looking up. "What about you then?"

"Fuck knows."

Kurt blinked. "Wow, good luck." He checked the time on his laptop. "As much as I’d hate to stay and continue this conversation, I’m leaving now." His expression was serious but his tone was playful.

“Want a ride home?”

“You think I walked here with all this shit?” He replied, lifting his hands which were now filled with various books and papers to emphasize his point.

“Ha, of course.”

Kurt just nodded, dragging his bottom lip with his mouth.

“Goodbye, then.” He grabbed a notebook he’d missed and headed out of the door.

“Yeah, bye.” He watched Kurt as he ran from the warmth of the indoors to his car parked across the lot.

It wasn’t until Kurt was back in his car, with the low humming from the radio keeping him company as he started the drive back home that he realised he’d had an entire conversation with Sebastian without constantly feeling pissed off and on edge. It was actually kind of nice.

Sebastian had been pushy and irritating as usual but had somehow eventually managed to engage Kurt to the point where he was laughing and making jokes that weren’t malicious or even directed at Sebastian. He glanced over to where his bag sat in the passenger seat, crammed full of outdated and useless textbooks he’d found in the school library and sighed. Talking through his ideas and his frustrations about the project with Sebastian had come surprisingly easy, it was unnerving. He supposed it wasn’t an entirely unpleasant distraction though.

Kurt had spent all week trying to figure out what Sebastian was up to.

His phone buzzed from its place on the dashboard in front of him. He picked it up at the next set of red lights. It was from Blaine, surprisingly. His heart fluttered for a moment in the same way it had before they were a couple, so young then, before dread began to creep in.

For the past few weeks it was as if Blaine only spoke to Kurt when he needed something or to cancel plans. They were distant, different, and Kurt couldn't work out what he'd done wrong. It was like half the time Blaine couldn't care less about him, treating their relationship like a chore. And the other half they spent attached at the hip, apartment shopping for New York and planning their future and mindlessly making out. It was confusing as hell. They were fine not three weeks ago. Was it because Sebastian was back? And Blaine had finally given in to his advances? Or was he trying to make him jealous? No. That wouldn't make any sense.

The light turned green and he threw his phone back onto the dashboard without bothering to open the text, pushing down the nauseous feeling of abandonment and humiliation his mind conjured up.

 

~~~

“Okay guys, settle down.” Mr Schue said as he blundered into the choir room ten minutes late.

Rachel directed her attention away from where she had been endlessly over-sharing details of her weekend spent planning and practicing song

“Quinn is still recovering at home from the accident and we don’t know if she’ll want to re-join the club straight away, never mind competing. I just-” Mr Schue continued.

“Of course she will. She’s family.” Rachel interjected.

“She is.” He agreed. “But we can’t take anything for granted here. And I certainly don’t want to be responsible for putting that amount of pressure on her.”

“Mr Schue, with respect and all, Glee club is usually the thing that takes away the stress of everything else.” Finn uttered.

“I agree. But, surely it couldn’t hurt to bring in some more talent, anyway.” He said hesitantly. Santana’s expression grew suspicious.

“Please don’t tell us what I think you’re trying to tell us.” She began, sitting straighter in her seat. “You do know he auditioned as a joke, right?”

“Calm down guys. I just-“ He began, rubbing his hand down his forehead as he tried to phase his thoughts. “He’s an incredibly talented performer and we need him.”

“We won Regionals without him.” Tina shrugged.

“Nationals is a whole different ball game. We need to be our best.”

“So you keep saying.” Blaine muttered from the corner.

“I really need you to understand this from a professional outlook.” Schue insisted.

“Oh we do. But Sebastian is far from professional; he’s an egotistical maniac and quite honestly, a danger to this school.” Santana challenged.

“I think if we give him a chance, he’ll change.” The comment was met with several sighs from around the room.

“He’s tried that bs before and from what I see it didn’t even last a week before he was back to his old ways.” Santana folded her arms.

“True, true.” Puck added.

“Anything’s possible. Maybe he needs to be influenced by the right people. This club has turned a lot of people the right way around when you think about it. Puck-“ He gestured to where he sat in the back row, “is a great example. Even Sue has had her moments.”

A couple of the group started to look convinced.

“Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Blaine stood up to point to his eye at the same time that Rachel muttered, “do you really want to go there?”

Schue sighed, as if he was about to say something he wished he didn’t have to.

“Stop, okay. We’ve all made mistakes and done things we regret-” Kurt interrupted.

“I don’t think Sebastian is the type for remorse Kurt.” Santana turned in her seat to face him.

“Maybe not. But we are, and this is high school. Really will any of it matter in ten years, in twenty?” He sighed. Rachel opened her mouth to protest.

“Okay, maybe I worded that wrong.” He continued when he caught Rachel’s glare. “I just mean, one day it won’t matter that we let some asshole sway in the back to help us win Nationals. He’s just a number, right? Jacob Ben Israel almost competed with us once. We took advice from Sue Sylvester and danced a half time show in zombie make-up with the entire football team. Even though I’m still gutted I wasn’t there for that one. We’ve dealt with worse.”

He was met with sceptical looks, but he was certain it had more to do with the fact he seemed to be defending Sebastian as opposed to the point he was actually making.

“Look. In the end I’m the director of this club and my decision is law. And Sebastian is joining the club.” The group stopped staring at Kurt and turned to face Mr Schuester.

“You’ve had a lot of tragic ideas in your time, Mr Schue, I mean that sweater vest is definitely up there,” Schue glanced down at the clothing in question. “But this may possibly be your worst.”

“Well, Santana. We grow from our mistakes.” He smirked, clearly pleased with his own comeback. “And this vest is Emma’s favourite.”

“Gross.” Santana rolled her eyes.

“Great.” He clapped his hands together. “Now that is agreed upon-“

“Agreed.” Rachel air quoted. Mr Schue sent her a threatening look.

“Now that's settled. Will someone let him know before tomorrow?”

“It was your idea. You tell him.” Tina replied.

“How about whoever sees him first let’s him know?"

Schue watched their nonchalant shrugs and nods of surrender and decided they’d wasted enough time on the topic for today.

“From the top.”

~~~

It had been a few days since Sebastian had taken Cas out. He finished up the last questions on his French homework and headed to find that dog, taking the long route avoiding the kitchen so he didn't run into his mother.

He'd been reading under his tree, keeping a side eye on Cas for around a half hour before Kurt showed up.

"Hey."

"Hey back." Sebastian replied, putting his book face down on the grass, still open.

Kurt shifted his weight before sitting down with his legs crossed, his back resting against the same tree.

"To what do I owe you actually acknowledging me in public?" Sebastian started.

“Look, we reconsidered and when I say we I mean Mr Schue but-” He paused, “we want you in the group.” He rushed the last part of the sentence.

“You- you what?”

“We want you to join the New Directions.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” He replied.

“That's awesome!”

“I thought you didn’t need our ‘stupid loser Glee club’?”

“I don’t I just-”

“You hate most of us.”

“Well-“

“Please tell me this isn’t some plan to destroy us from the inside? Because seriously that would be kind of old. Coach Sylvester has been trying that one for three years.”

“I told you, I’m done playing games.”

“I think I missed that conversation.”

“There were witnesses.”

“Sure thing.”

"Trust me, it's boring as hell but at least I'm not going to hell anymore."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Kurt said, nudging Sebastian's shoulder by the tiniest amount.

Cas chose that moment to come bounding over, almost knocking Kurt off balance into Sebastian's arms, almost.

"Calm down, asshole." Sebastian exclaimed, leaning over Kurt to grab his collar and attach him to his lead to prevent further damage. Kurt found this hilarious.

"You'd think he was a Great Dane the amount of energy he's got." He said rubbing the dogs chin fondly.

"So where's yours?" Sebastian asked, playing with Cas's tail softly.

Kurt startled for a moment, either forgetting he owned a dog or that Sebastian remembered he did.

"I was actually on my way home from Blaine's, his mom is allergic to dogs so I couldn't take him with me." He said a little quietly.

"Oh really? Have a good ol' gay time?" Sebastian mocked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"The perfect evening, thank you very much." Far from it, they'd made it through two and a half episodes of Friends in the most awkward of silences before Kurt had paused it and said he had to go early. Which he didn't, but he couldn't stand the stuffy atmosphere.

"I can see it now." Sebastian said, closing his eyes and using his hands to illustrate the scene. "There are rose petals and candles surrounding the bed, Blaine's eyes the size of the moon as his stares at your stupid face and feeds you cheesecake whilst you braid each other’s hair."

Kurt worked on regulating his breathing and tried not to think about how his evening had been anything but that, and that the words of Sebastian Smythe were hardly worth getting worked up over.

Sebastian worked on regulating his breathing and tried not to think about the pang of jealously he felt in his chest that he wasn't the one carding his fingers through Kurt's hair or taking him out on date nights to fancy restaurants or complimenting his outfits.

Neither of them could think of what to say next that didn't involve exposing feelings.

"I should be getting back." Kurt started after a few moments longer, pushing up off the ground.

"Stay." Sebastian muttered before realising what he'd said. "I mean, stay." He added, gazing up at Kurt's dumbfounded expression.

"Okay." He said, collapsing back onto the grass.

They still didn't know what to say.

"Um, would you-?" Kurt started.

Sebastian looked up from where he was plucking out bits of grass and balancing them on Cas's nose.

"Would I what?" He prompted.

"Would you like some cookies?" Kurt scrunched up his nose, as if embarrassed to ask.

Sebastian laughed. "I'd love some."

"You're mocking me." Kurt frowned.

"I am not. Who would turn down cookies?" He smiled back genuinely.

Kurt considered him for a moment before biting his bottom lip and reaching over to open his bag. He pulled out a large Tupperware box and opened it. Inside there was a pile of rich looking, heavily glazed cookies.

"There's white chocolate, milk, dark, triple chocolate, smarties, shortbread and um, what is that?" Kurt rambled, staring at the cookies to avoiding looking at Sebastian.

"That's a lot of cookies."

"I had a day off. I like baking. Baking is fun."

"And I thank you for it." He grinned.

Kurt smiled back, wide eyes with crinkle at the edges and offered the box to him. Sebastian really didn't know where to start.

"I made them for Blaine, but, he said 'sorry, I'll pass today'." Kurt's smile dipped into a frown as he impersonated him.

Sebastian didn't reply, and instead took one of the heart shaped shortbread cookies resting on the top. He tried his best to hold back his smile.

"They're cute." Sebastian said around a mouthful of shortbread.

Kurt looked up from where he was staring at the cookies as if they were the root of all his problems and burst into laughter after a moment watching Sebastian ungracefully catch the biscuit crumbs falling from his mouth.

 _You're cute._ "Thanks." Kurt muttered, gingerly picking out another cookie with heart shaped glazing.

Kurt handed Sebastian a napkin to catch the last crumbs and they fell into silence. Cas stretched over Sebastian to sniff at the box, whining quietly, Kurt smiled and rubbed his ear.

"Who would have thought it, me sharing heart shaped cookies with Sebastian Smythe and his over enthusiastic dog in a park?" He said, picking out one of the plain cookies and handing a piece to the dog.

"Ha."  Sebastian laughed loudly, leaning back against the tree as Cas stole the last few bites of biscuit from Kurt's hand. "Certainly not me."

"I'm worried for my taste in company." Kurt joked.

"And that started after you met me?"

"Shut up." Kurt snorted.

"I'm serious."

"I'm sure you are."

"You deserve better than them."

"Right." Kurt answered sarcastically. "Whatever."

Kurt pursed his lips at him and he beamed back and then they were just staring at each other and it was kind of awkward but neither of them could look away.

"Anyway, I’m going to head home now. Rehearsals start tomorrow at 3:30, okay?" Kurt said abruptly, pushing up from the grass a little off balance and smoothing his outfit.

“Yeah, course. See you then, Kurt.” Sebastian replied, the farewell feeling empty as he watched him walk across the grass until he could no longer see him.

He didn't stay in the park for much longer.

~~~

“Good morning, frenemies.” Sebastian said cheerfully as he approached the New Directions who were crowded around a couple of tables in the cafeteria the next day.

He nudged his way inelegantly in between Kurt and Blaine, Kurt clenched his jaw. It was a knee jerk reaction.

“Excuse me, Sebastian.” Rachel said, reaching over from her spot on the other side of Kurt to tap Sebastian on the shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“Having lunch with my club, what does it look like?” He answered, grabbing a handful of chips and shoving them into his mouth.

“You can’t sit with us.”

“Okay, Regina.” He raised both of his hands in a mock gesture.

Rachel’s mouth formed an ‘o’ and she crossed her arms.

“Sebastian,” Kurt began, trying to keep his voice level. “Can you go five minutes without pissing someone off?”

“Let me stay and find out.” He challenged, raising his eyebrows.

Kurt shared a glance with Puck who was sat across the table, he nodded towards Sebastian.

“I feel like all I ever do is tell you to go away.”

“Then don’t.” He was aiming for cocky but it came out as something shy.

“This is a trail, okay. I guess since you’re part of the group now and all-“

“Exactly.” He smirked, looking at each face opposite him. Brittany looked a little frightened, and Tina just looked indifferent.

Sebastian was about to put a slice of chicken into his mouth when Blaine leaned in to say “Seb, can we switch places?”

“Why?”

“So I can sit next to my boyfriend.”

“Oh. Right, yeah that. No.” Even if he'd come to appreciate Kurt in a whole new light, it didn't make winding them up any less hilarious. Especially when Kurt looked like he didn't mind whether Sebastian moved over or not.

“Okay, funny.” Blaine laughed, starting to pick up his tray ready for Sebastian to slide over. “Move.” He didn’t.

“You’re doing the thing, Sebastian.” Kurt leaned to whisper in his ear.

“Fine.” He relented, shoving his tray the other way towards Rachel. He stood up and shimmed in-between the two before they could argue back.

“I was talking to Kurt too.”

“Sorry, I didn’t realise you were directing your rant at anyone in particular.” He felt rather than saw the ice cold glare that came from Kurt. “Okay, enough. I’m being nice.” He looked at Kurt sideways.

Kurt tilted his head.

“I swear.”

“Good.” He smiled, fluttering his eyelashes and clasping his hands together. He dropped it after a second, turning more to face Blaine.

Santana joined the table at that moment, her almost empty tray clanking loudly against the wood.

"Why is smirky the circus rat sat in between Berry and Lady Hummel?" She gaped.

"I'm part of your merry little crew now, honey." He answered.

"Um, excuse me?"

"Captain Sweater Vest realised I'm such an asset to your school, he's a visionary, really."

Sebastian could see Kurt biting his lip to stop from laughing. He hated how it he felt pride and affection stem from his chest.

"That still doesn't explain why you're sitting at our table." She glared.

"I don't exactly see a waiting list."

She huffed out through her nose. "Don't you have better places to be? Like back alleys or dumpsters."

"Gotta get in my five a day, right?"  He answered, rubbing an apple against his sweater and taking a large bite from it, staring at Santana the whole time.

"Gross." Santana muttered back.

Sebastian laughed before turning his attention way from her and leaning into Kurt's personal space a little bit more. It didn't go unnoticed. "Hey."

"Hi." Kurt replied, it may have just been wishful thinking on Sebastian's part, but he thought he saw Kurt's teeth digging into his lip harder to hold back a smile.

"So I'm still having dreams about those cookies of yours." Sebastian said, it wasn't a lie.

A faint blush coloured Kurt's cheeks as he pretended he hadn't heard the compliment.

"Um, thank you." He muttered.

"What is he talking about Kurt?" Blaine interrupted.

"Hum?" Kurt asked at the same time Sebastian said, "Oh just Kurt's fabulous baked goods. You know, the ones that he made for you that you basically tossed in the trash. I mean, I thought they were incredible, what a keeper. You should hold on to that one."

"Shut up, 'Bastian." Kurt whispered out of the side of his mouth.

"You're calling him ''Bastian' now?" Blaine exclaimed. It was as much of a shock to Sebastian as it was to Blaine apparently, and it definitely shut him up.

Blaine looked rapidly between Sebastian and Kurt as if he wasn't sure who had offended him more. Sebastian winked.

"I- what?" Kurt replied, brow furrowed. Perhaps it took Kurt by surprise too.

"Chill out, killer." Sebastian laughed.

"Oh I bet you'd love that, wouldn't you?" Blaine said, leaning over Kurt.

Kurt squeezed Blaine's leg from under the table, whether as a reassurance or warning he wasn't sure, but it seemed to work as Blaine's posture relaxed.

"I'm just thankful they didn't go to waste." Kurt said a moment later, ignoring Blaine.

"The pleasure was all mine."

Kurt chuckled a little.

"So, how's the, um, project going?" He cleared his throat, he felt lame for asking about schoolwork of all things.

"The what?"

"The project, you know, for class? History class?" He stuttered.

"Oh, right. That." Kurt still looked confused. "I'm almost done, just have to fit in the concluding paragraph and then revise the word count." He said whilst spearing some pasta onto his fork. He paused to chew. "Have you settled on a topic yet?" He teased.

"I have indeed." He nodded proudly.

"And what, dare I ask, did you choose? Brothels from the 18th Century until Present?"

"19th Century." He quipped back.

"Har har." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"No it's-"

"Um, excuse me but what the fuck is going on over here?" Santana called from across the table, interrupting them and gesturing in-between them both.

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked, brows furrowed.

"I mean that you're actually conversing with Sleazy McPosh over there like you're gay besties for life."

"We're just talking." Kurt replied, shaking his head.

"Just talking." She echoed like she was personally offended. "Since when have you 'just talked' with him?"

"Since now, Santana." He replied, lowering his voice a little as if embarrassed. "Can't you just be civil?"

"Snix? Civil? He's the one who almost blinded your sweetie-pie after trying to break you up a hundred times." She protested.

He saw Blaine nodding animatedly by his side.

"Let it go." Kurt dead-panned and Blaine's face whipped to face him, it was comical.

Kurt just raised his eyebrows as if to ask 'what?' and took another bite of his food.

Blaine didn't say anything, his expression giving him a deep frown line on the centre of his forehead. If Sebastian thought the silence was awkward earlier, it certainly was now. He could practically hear Kurt chewing.

No one on that side of the table spoke for the next minute or two, the only sounds were that of the conversations from tables all around the blurring into one and Santana's voice opposite them, ranting about Rachel's choice of sweater and how wasn't she burning to death it's almost summer.

She sighed back as if pitying Santana's lack of fashionable knowledge and despite the fact he'd only seen her out of that uniform maybe once, he was actually on her side. He smiled to himself.

“Okay honey, I’ve gotta go.” Kurt said suddenly, leaning down to kiss Blaine on the cheek.

Sebastian wished he had something worthwhile to say.

“Text me if you finish early?” Blaine asked, eyes still moving rapidly between the two. It sounded somewhere between desperation and a warning. They spoke a lot through their eyes, Sebastian noticed. It was weird.

“Of course.” He smiled back, rubbing his back in small circles softly. "Don't kill each other."

Kurt's eyes flitted to Sebastian, who plastered the biggest grin onto his face. Kurt turned on his heel, Santana and Brittany following him out of the room. Sebastian shifted closer to Blaine.

“Hey buddy.”

“Hey.” Blaine hesitated.

"How are you?" He asked in his most polite tone.

"I'm- I'm fine?" Blaine replied, his brows furrowed.

"That's great." He grinned back.

Blaine stared at him for a moment. "Look, Sebastian, please just leave us alone."

"Excuse me?"

"I just don't think you're good for us." Blaine said, all puppy eyes.

"Us?"

"Are you going to repeat everything I say?" Blaine asked and oh, he was just being condescending now.

"I was actually just going to ask if you wanted to hang out in the courtyard until lunch is over but-"

"And why would I want to do that?" Blaine asked, putting down his fork.

"Hey, hey, you're the one that asked me to get coffee with you and look for records with you and hang out with you when I first transferred so don't you dare." Sebastian said.

"That was different." Blaine argued.

"How?"

"It just was, okay?"

"Not reall-" Sebastian started.

"I think you should leave." Rachel butted in from Sebastian's other side, he'd forgotten she was there.

"Yeah, I think you should too." Sebastian turned his smile up his smile.

"Um, she meant you, dumbass."

"Well, I'm not the one with the problem here."

"No, but you are the one causing it, so fuck off." Blaine shot back, losing his temper.

"Okay, I get it, I'm gone." Sebastian replied, pushing off the table a little harder than necessary, leaving his tray there.

He wandered outside where there were less people and found himself walking out towards the practice fields. Maybe if he was lucky he might stumble upon another glorious Cheerio's practice session. It turned out, as he rounded the corner, he was very much in luck.

~~~

Sebastian couldn’t deny that he was nervous when the bell rang to signal the end of classes. He looked over to where Kurt and Rachel were putting their books into their bags to find Kurt staring back. He smirked, causing Kurt to look away quickly, rolling his eyes.

“Mind if I walk with you?” He asked as the walked past him into the hallway.

“Yes.” Rachel interjected.

“Cool.” He smiled, falling in step with the two of them.

He ignored Rachel’s protests to Kurt and so did he. After the rounded the corner in silence Sebastian added, “I’m excited, are you excited?”

“Not really. It’s just a rehearsal, nothing special.”

“Every moment counts, Kurt.” Rachel pointed at him.

“Easy to say when you get every solo.” His face was relaxed though he picked up a little bitterness in his tone.

“We can do a duet next week if you want?”

“Sure. I mean, depending whatever half decent theme we get. And I get to choose.”

“Fair enough.” She linked her arm through his as they reached the choir room.

Today was just a rough sketch of the number they’d perform on tomorrow. Sebastian didn’t know why, it wasn’t like they ever performed for anyone outside competitions - except that time they had a Michael-off in a parking lot, he remembered fondly - and nationals still seemed months away.

He felt even more nauseous now knowing he’d have to participate in whatever they were doing knowing full well he’d insulted each and every one of them whether to their face or not. He stepped through the door behind Kurt and Rachel and watched as they took their regular seats, Rachel ducking down to peck Finn’s cheek before she sat.

He stayed there, swaying a little on his feet and scratching the side of his neck whilst he calculated the best place to sit. Mr Schue tapped him on the shoulder then, walking by him and into the centre of the room.

“Welcome, Sebastian. Sit anywhere you like.”

"O-kay." He said, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he surveyed the room once more, most of them were avoiding his eye, Kurt was not.

There was a couple of spare seats next to Rachel on the row behind where Kurt and Blaine were sat, so he headed over, navigating his way awkwardly past and almost hitting Kurt in the face with his bag. Oops.  Nobody said anything for a few moments, he guessed they didn't get newbies very often, much less ones that they already hated.

Mr Schue clapped his hands together, a trait that Sebastian was already finding incredibly frustrating, along with the uncomfortable red plastic chairs that were no match for Dalton's couches, and the rattling of the air conditioning to his right.

It turned out that they'd already rehearsed this song a few times, so they had most of the choreography down by now. Sebastian was told to watch and pick up bits that when he could and it didn't take him long to notice that there was definitely a strong dynamic set in, he felt lost.

As he watched them run through the beat and doing vocal run, he smiled to himself before he could help it. He smiled because even though it constantly felt like he was intruding on a private family moment, it was a family anyone would want to be a part of. He felt a little sick just thinking that.

It was easy to tease and mock at coffee shops or in cafeterias but there was something about the choir room that made you want to be honest, bare your creative soul. He got the feeling this room contained a lot of history.

Rehearsal had only started half an hour ago and already Sebastian could feel himself changing, which was ridiculous. But he felt softer, warmer as he watched them match the beats of the songs to the moves of the dance to the switching of the singer. It was the opposite of the boredom, hatred and agitation he'd felt whilst watching Warbler upon Warbler join them on stage to sing Michael Jackson.

Not soon after, they moved across to the auditorium. As they gathered on stage, he looked ahead to the masses of empty seats, only Mr Schue sat in the centre behind his desk, the rest of the seats darkened under the stage lights.

Things were running smoothly until around the third stanza of the song, when he had a momentary lapse in concentration. To his left, Mercedes was stepping forward to sing the next line of the song, to his right, Tina and Artie were laughing at each other. For a fleeting moment he even thought it was cute, but then Tina almost lost her balance and fell over his wheelchair head first. Sebastian laughed quietly and moved to face forward. He stepped to the left, and fell face first over Kurt.

"Fuck, ow." Kurt grabbed his leg and looked to where Sebastian was now sprawled ungracefully on the floor.

A few people had stopped dancing to find out what was going on.

"You totally did that on purpose. I knew this would happen." Rachel started, pointing her finger.

"I did not." He protested, rubbing at his elbow where it had hit the floor hard.

A few others threw cold and accusing glares in his direction.

"I swear, I didn't." He added, putting his hands up in surrender.

"It's fine, guys. It was an accident." Kurt sighed, straightening his posture before offering Sebastian a hand.

Sebastian stared at it for a few moments before accepting it cautiously. Kurt rolled his eyes and pulled him up and maybe Sebastian held on for a little longer than acceptable. Blaine certainly thought so. He was stood within breathing distance of Kurt, their hands still clasped, and Sebastian was certain that it wasn't just the abrupt ascent back to two legs that had left him breathless.

Blaine coughed loudly. He seemed to be attempting a threatening glare that came off more as 'sulking child' and squinted his eyes towards Sebastian, who didn't look remotely terrified.

Then Kurt started laughing, dropping Sebastian's hand and taking two long steps backwards to place a hand on Blaine's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. He whispered something into his ear and the shoulder under Kurt's grip relaxed.

"You okay, Kurt?" Mr Schue shouted above the other voices.

"Perfect." He smiled back.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking." Sebastian added.

"Okay, from Rachel's line. 1, 2, 3, 4." He counted.

Blaine continued to glare at Sebastian for the rest of the chorus, he could see Kurt gritting his teeth. So possessiveness must be a turn off, then, he thought to himself. Or maybe that's just unjustified over-protectiveness.

Either way, Blaine only made it halfway through the bridge before he seemed to forget it was his line and he full on turned on Sebastian, crowding into his personal space.

"Will you fucking stop!"

"What?"

"Blaine." Schue said sternly.

"Babe."  Kurt called.

"No, I've had enough."

"What are you getting so worked up about?" Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder and tried to lightly pull him away from Sebastian.

"Just leave me, Kurt." He pulled away.

"Blaine, you're making a scene."  Kurt whispered, embarrassed to be the centre of attention when Blaine was reacting like this.

"Whatever, I'm out." Blaine said, throwing his arms up in the air and storming out, leaving half the group with open mouths and a heavy sigh from Kurt.

"Drama queen." Santana muttered.

"Not now, 'Tana." Kurt said, rubbing his hand across his forehead.

"Aren't you going to go after him?" Rachel asked.

"No, Rach. I'm not." He paused, looking up to Sebastian. "Can we carry on then?"

"Well, we were kinda on Blaine's part."

"Sebastian." Schue called from across the stage. "Wanna fill in?"

"I-" He said, breaking the eye contact.

"Go on."

"Okay then, I guess."

"Don't worry, we'll help you through it." Schue said, then sat back in his chair.

For the first time, Sebastian actually felt somewhat nervous now stood centre stage, watching by people he was intent on destroying not two months ago.

"Places everybody. Okay, 5, 6, 7, 8." He counted.

The band played a few beats and Santana picked up from the beginning of the chorus, he was having a hard time figuring out which way to move, which he blamed entirely on being moved three places to the left and totally not on Kurt who was now stood directly in front of him.

Wearing tight jeans and really nice white boots, actually. Focus.

Kurt stepped around him in order for him to come to the front and ended up directly behind him. Like, really close. Breathe.

He managed all of his two lines without majorly fucking up again and counted that as a small victory and by the time Mr Schue was saying "Great job, guys. See you tomorrow", Sebastian realised he'd made it through an entire Glee Club rehearsal without ever once wanting to bolt.

The club filed out of the room in a jumble or muttered tones and laughter until Sebastian was the only one left. He looked above to the stage light then out into the audience before he exited out of the opposite door.

He was en-route to his locker when he found Sebastian waiting for him in the hallway outside.

"What kind of game are you playing? Because it's not funny." Blaine called as he followed Sebastian around the corner.

"Me, I'm not doing anything. I'm cotton candy nice now, remember?" Sebastian said without looking past his locker door.

"Leave him alone."

"Who?"

"You know who."

"Don't you think that's something he ought to be telling me himself?" Sebastian asked, running his fingers through his hair and fixing it with product from inside his locker.

"Kurt doesn't know what's best for him."

"And you do?" Sebastian shot an incredulous glance sideways.

"I- no- yes. I love him, Sebastian."

"You've hurt him enough."

"He can stand his own ground." He felt something akin to second hand offence and anger flare up inside him.

"You don't know what he's been through." He said, throwing his arms up dramatically.

"Well he seems more than capable of giving back as good as he gets from what I can see." He answered, regrettably giving Blaine his full attention.

"I'm onto you, Smythe." Blaine said.

"Onto what?" He smiled innocently, now completely done with this conversation..

"I mean it, I'm watching you." Blaine stepped forward.

"Then watch my fine ass, as it walks away from this conversation." He replied before slamming his locker shut and startling Blaine. He winked and walked around him, he didn't look back but he knew Blaine had turned around to watch him.


	8. Bourbon Confessions

Sebastian didn’t sit with them at lunch the next day, or the next. But on Friday, he did.

Mainly he was trying to avoid Blaine and his over-reactions. He was done with his drama. Everywhere he went it seemed as though Blaine was there, burning holes into the back of his head with his oversized puppy dog eyes.

He didn't speak to Kurt much either, though whether Kurt was avoiding him or Blaine was forcing him to, or whether it was just a cruel coincidence, he didn't know. He even checked their usual afterschool hangouts - the park and the Lima Bean - but he had no luck.

 _Their_ hangouts.

He hated how much he missed him.

And didn’t realise up until that moment how often they’d been hanging out before this. They saw each other almost every other day and always spent a decent amount of time talking about anything and everything. A decreasingly large amount of time was being dedicated to throwing each other insults, and Blaine was hardly ever there. In fact, he’d only seen him outside of school once the entire time.

He also realised that outside of Kurt, not many other people spoke to him, and he couldn’t call anyone else his friend. He thought he should’ve been more upset or angry about this realisation – he had always been the centre of attention, everywhere he went, after all - but it just made him long for Kurt’s company even more.

He couldn’t remember the last time he enjoying just spending time with someone that much, at least since his brother lived at home. He made a mental note to give Matthew a call.

So after choosing whichever meal looked the least likely to give him food poisoning, he bit his lip and took a deep breath and wandered over slowly to the New Directions table in the corner. He placed his tray on the edge of the table, waiting for a moment until Finn nodded kindly at him before taking a seat.

"How's it goin' man?" Finn asked as he dunked several chips into a pile of ketchup.

The sincerity of Finn's tone surprised him and he found himself not being able to answer for a moment.

"It's going well, how- how are you?"

"I'm a-okay."

Sebastian smiled then, genuinely. He looked over at Finn, who was looking at Rachel, his eyes sparkling and doing his best to hold back a dopey grin whilst trying to chew a large slice of pie. He looked so at ease, so happy, Sebastian envied it. He'd never felt comfortable enough in a school environment to just be himself. He’d rather everyone believe he was a stone cold asshole than know the truth.

Everyone loved Finn, why wouldn't they? He had the kindest, loyalist, biggest heart, he was a natural leader who inspired and comforted without being told twice. He always put others before himself and he never asked for anything in return. Sebastian wished he was more like Finn, he was respected and admired without saying a bad word to anybody.

Even assholes like Sebastian who more than likely deserved it.

Finn turned his attention towards Rachel, the pair sending each other literal heart eyes, and Sebastian reached for his chips.

Sebastian hadn't been the sort of person who thought in depth about character development for long periods of time until he came to McKinley, but more and more often he found himself envying those around him, mainly the New Directions, and questioning why.

He poked at his food some more and hardly noticed when a tray was set down on the other side of him.

"Hey." Kurt said, startling Sebastian.

"Hi." He blinked, turning to smile at Kurt.

"Nice to have you back on Earth." He joked, smiling somewhat fondly.

"I was totally zoned out."

"Tell me about it, I've been trying to get your attention for the past two minutes." Kurt laughed.

"Oh, you have now. And why would that be?" Sebastian smirked.

"I need a reason now?"

"Maybe." Sebastian shrugged.

Kurt pursed his lips. "Fine. I will take my friendship elsewhere. To someone who actually appreciates it."

Sebastian tried to hold back his smile. "So you admit that we're friends?" He teased.

"Why is everyone so obsessed with labels at this school?" Kurt sighed dramatically.

Sebastian broke into laughter. "Beats me."

"So, how are you?" Kurt asked, leaning slightly close to Sebastian.

"I'd be feeling much better if this food was actually edible." He replied, poking the cafeteria food with a frown etched on his face as if to prove his point.

"It's a good job I brought you some more cookies then, right?" Kurt said smugly, reaching into his bag to retrieve the Tupperware box.

"You're an actual angel." Sebastian said, his whole face lighting up.

"I try." Kurt said, opening the box and pushing it towards Sebastian. "You'll want to eat them before Finn sees them, otherwise you have no chance."

“What?” Finn asked, confused.

“Oh nothing.” Kurt smiled, moving quickly to hide the cookies from Finn’s view.

“Cool.” He turned back to Rachel without a second thought.

Sebastian laughed as Kurt slowly and dramatically brought the cookies back onto the table. He looked to the left and right as if in a pantomime before opening the lid and broaching it in Sebastian’s direction. He gingerly grabbed a cookie from the top of the box and took a bite. His eyes slipped closed as he chewed and he attempted to thank Kurt with his mouth still half full. Kurt was blushing.

"You've got to give me the recipe for these."

"Never."

"Oh come on," he pouted, "don't you trust me?"

"Absolutely not." He grinned with total sincerity.

"Ouch. That hurts." He was certain he hadn’t managed an ounce of actual offense.

Kurt grinned slyly and opened his mouth to reply when Blaine tapped him on the shoulder and leaned down to peck his cheek.

"Hey, sweetie." Kurt cooed, turning to face away from Sebastian to greet his boyfriend.

"Oh here we go." Sebastian muttered into Kurt's other ear.

"Play nice." Kurt uttered out of the side of his mouth.

Blaine glared at him. Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"Pathetic." He mouthed with Kurt’s back still turned.

"Asshole." Blaine mouthed back.

“Blaine!” Kurt scolded.

Sebastian had never looked so smug. Kurt turned to apologize to Sebastian who had wiped the smile off his face and attempted to look hurt. Blaine scoffed, slamming his tray down on the table.

Kurt turned back to Blaine, his eyes wide with questions and Sebastian took the opportunity to mime the most ridiculous frown complete with tears wiped from his eyes. Blaine looked like he was about to lose it completely but then he just stopped.

The anger drained from Blaine’s face, his shoulders relaxed and he loosened the grip on his fork. He broke eye contact with Sebastian and it was like all he could see was Kurt. They were clearly having some kind of intense conversation without actually saying anything. It freaked Sebastian out.

He continued to watch them interact for a few moments, mainly because it pissed off Blaine so much, but also because it was impossible for him not to notice how Kurt's eyes kept flicking elsewhere, even towards Sebastian a couple of times. And how his smile dropped whenever Blaine looked away. He noticed how Kurt seemed reserved, sat a little straighter, smiled a little tighter. And how Blaine couldn't stop fidgeting and running his hand across his gelled helmet hair, straightening his bowtie ten too many times.

Sebastian considering being that asshole and interrupting whatever rough patch they were trying to cover up at the moment, but figured he couldn't do it. Not now that Kurt was sort of his- friend.

He quietly ate a couple more chips, pretending to scroll through his phone before he stood up, taking his barely touched tray across the hall and walking out onto the courtyard.

Sebastian watched Kurt and Blaine with more interest that afternoon at rehearsals, as if every little micro action was somehow of the greatest importance. He wondered at what point it could be considered creepy, and if he'd already crossed that line.

It seemed that all he did lately was watch Kurt. But it wasn't as if there was anything else remotely interesting happening.

Rachel Berry got the solo of the week once more to the surprise of a grand total of zero people, and Will Schuster’s song choice was a mix between ancient history and borderline inappropriate also to the surprise of absolutely no one.

It was on the way out of the parking lot that Sebastian noticed Kurt, standing around three steps from the other students at the bus stop of all places. Sebastian laughed to himself before taking a detour and pulling up beside Kurt.

"Need a ride?" Sebastian asked, leaning over to stick his head out of the passenger side window.

"I'd rather take the bus." Kurt smile sweetly.

"Would you really?"

Kurt glanced towards the approaching yellow bus with a look of distaste.

"Oh come on, friends are supposed to give friends in need help, right?" He continued when Kurt still hadn't moved.

Kurt looked down at Sebastian.

"Let me drive you home." Sebastian insisted, leaning across the passenger seat and pushing open the door.

Kurt sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before climbing into the car.

"Buckle up."

"Don't make me regret this." Kurt said, but reached behind him and pulled the seatbelt across his waist anyway.

"Safety first."

"Whatever."

"Look on the bright side, at least you're not stuck for god knows how long on a sweaty bus full of losers."

"No, just stuck with one loser." Kurt quipped back.

"Ouch." He paused. "So where's your car? I assume you weren’t willingly taking public transport home."

"In my dad's shop. Slow puncture." Kurt explained, sighing as if it was just his luck.

"You know what that is don't you?" Sebastian smirked.

"A tiny hole that drains the air from the tyres..."

"Karma." Sebastian winked.

"You. You didn't?" Kurt's entire face paled and his mouth dropped open.

"Didn't what?"

"Don't you play dumb with me. You totally busted my tyre, you asshole." Sebastian wasn't sure whether he was aiming for angry when it came out so fond.

"I did no such thing." Sebastian protested, clutching his hand to his chest. "What kind of person do you think I am?"

"I think you're exactly the kind of person that pokes holes in the tyres of unsuspecting innocents." Kurt pointed his finger at Sebastian.

And Sebastian realised how close they were sitting. He wondered if Kurt had noticed too. He focused his eyes back on the road.

"You were not innocent, you dented my door!"

"So you admit you did sabotage my car?" Kurt narrowed his eyes.

"Prove it." Sebastian glanced back at Kurt, leaning in closer.

"You just told me-"

"All I said was that you dented my door. Which you did."

"But-"

"My father is an attorney, do you really wanna open this door?" It works every time.

Kurt stared at him with a look in between frustration and fondness. So close. Sebastian stared back. Kurt licked his lips. Sebastian blinked.

"Just drive me home." Kurt sighed, leaning back in his chair and switching the channel on the radio.

"Your wish is my command." He said, pulling the stick into gear.

They drove in silence for a while when they started to reach the quieter parts of town and Sebastian realised he didn’t actually know where he was going and he didn’t know how to ask, either. He figured they must live kind of close, since they both frequented the same park, so he just drove in the direction he normally would home.

“Um-“

“You’re going the right way.” Kurt said before Sebastian even got the chance to finish his question. “Keep going straight for a few more blocks then left.”

They fell into silence once again. The song changed in the background, Sebastian didn’t know what it was. Around mid-way through he noticed that Kurt was singing along under his breath and he strained in an attempt to hear his voice.

“Next left.” Kurt said.

Sebastian was so focused on trying to hear Kurt’s singing that he completely missed the turning when he did speak.

“If you did that on purpose I swear-“

“I didn’t.” He said as tried to find a spot to turn around in.

A few moments later Kurt told him to pull over outside a decent sized (by Sebastian’s standards) detached house with two cars in the driveway and one in the garage. The exterior was painted in a pastel blue and had large sash windows and a veranda that stretched the length of the front of the house.

“Is that your house?” Sebastian asked.

“If I answer that will you proceed to tell me how poor I am?”

“No.” Maybe a month ago he would, but now he really just wanted to see the inside of Kurt’s house.

“You hesitated.” Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “Fine, yes that’s my house.”

“It looks, homely.”

Now it was Kurt’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “Thanks, I guess.”

Sebastian just smiled in return. Kurt picked up his satchel and reached for the door handle. He leaned back into the car to say, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Before shutting the door and hurrying inside. Sebastian wanted to ask him if he was going to the Lima Bean later that evening, but it sounded to suspiciously like a date, so he held his tongue and watched as Kurt fumbled for his key.

.+.

The following Thursday was the regional baseball game against McKinley's rival school. It wasn't bad enough that one of the buses had broken down ten minutes before departure time, forcing the Cheerio’s and the baseball team to double up on some of their seats but on top of that, somehow Kurt ended up squashed in between the bus window and Sebastian for a three and a half hour ride on his way to cheer them on.

Kurt sighed heavily as he fell into his seat, his earphones already firmly planted in his eyes, praying silently that he could be spared and wouldn't have to share the space with anyone.

Apparently the universe was feeling extra cruel as Sebastian made his way towards the back of the bus.

"No." Kurt protested, pulling his earphone out of one ear as Sebastian approached.

"But-"

"No."

"C'mon-" Sebastian moved to sit down.

"No."

"Wait-"

"Move." Kurt repeatedly cut off Sebastian's attempts to argue.

"Alright." Sebastian replied, sighing and moving to the edge of his seat to stand up.

"Thank you." Kurt muttered, throwing his bag onto the other seat and looking out of the window to end the conversation.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and turned to look down the bus for another seat. The doors closed and the engine roared into ignition and several pairs of eyes from the rest of the team were on him and he realised that the only available seat was in fact, next to Kurt.

Sebastian closed his eyes slowly and breathed out hard through his nose, he placed his hand on the back of Kurt's headrest and turned towards him.

"Sorry kiddo, only seat in the house." He tried to muster up as much fake sincerity as possible.

"You've got to be kidding me." Kurt replied.

Sebastian just shrugged. Kurt dropped his shoulders and reluctantly moved his bag aside so that Sebastian could sit down. The bus rolled its way towards the freeway then, and the atmosphere settled into muffled laughter and cheerful speculation of tonight's events.

Kurt kept his focus on the view outside the window, despite the fact that at this point it was merely rolling hay fields with the occasional cow in the distance.

Sebastian shifted uncomfortably in his seat, fidgeting with his hands constantly.

"Would you just sit still please?"

"Oh sorry, am I bothering you?" He asked with the same fake sincerity from earlier, a smile teased at the corner of his lips.

"Like you're not doing this on purpose."

"I'm not."

"Well, whatever, just stop. Please." Kurt sighed, plugging his earphones back into his ears and turning up the volume a few more knots.

Sebastian sighed loudly and sat back heavily in his seat for dramatic effect, but Kurt continued to ignore him. They made it another painful fifteen minutes of silence before Kurt pulled out one earphone and turned to Sebastian to utter;

"Your leg is touching my leg and I'd like it to stop."

"Actually I think it's your leg that is touching mine."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Don't be an ass." He said, knocking Sebastian's knee with his own.

"Come on, I thought we were getting along really well." Sebastian pouted.

Kurt laughed.

"Hey once you've shared homemade cookies with someone in a park, you're bonded for life." Sebastian smiled.

"Did you seriously just say that?" Kurt scoffed, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

"What? That kind of experience changes a person." Sebastian continued.

"You're ridiculous." Kurt replied, though he was smiling for real now.

"Anything to put that smile on your face."

Kurt's smile immediately faltered and he blinked twice.

"I- I mean you've just looked so fucking miserable lately and-"

"Like you give a shit." Kurt laughed, facing the window once more, blushing to the tips of his ears.

"I do." He replied quickly.

"Whatever." Kurt directed at the window again.

Sebastian steeled himself and took a deep breath. "Just- you know. I'm- I'm here if you need to you know, talk or whatever, you know?" He stumbled over his words, trying to make his tone casual and shrugging his shoulders even though he knew Kurt couldn't see him.

In the reflection of the window Sebastian could see Kurt was smiling again, it looked sweet and touched.

"I'm fine for now, Sebastian." He replied, his tone was soft, not at all like Sebastian had imagined.

Kurt lifted his hands to replace his earphones which Sebastian hadn't realised he had completely removed at some point.

Sebastian divided his time between humming quietly to himself, staring at Kurt out of the corner of his eye and drawing patterns on the fabric of the seat in front of him. After he glanced at his watch only to find out they were less than halfway into the journey, he turned to Kurt again, nudging his shoulder.

"So you're coming along to cheer me on then? That's really kinda sweet of you."

"What other reason would I be on this bus, in this uniform for? And it's not for you. God knows why a baseball team even needs cheerleaders."

"I think it was Coach Sylvester's idea."

"Probably, that wouldn't shock me in the slightest actually."

"Yeah. But hey, look on the bright side, at least you're not sat next to an asshole for the next hour and a half."

Kurt opened his mouth as if to protest when Sebastian's smile widened.

"You think you're so funny, don't you?"

"Are you saying that I'm not?"

Kurt looked him up and down slowly before replying. "You- have your moments."

Sebastian beamed like it was the greatest compliment he'd ever received but that was the end of the conversation.

It took another half an hour of Sebastian mindlessly scrolling through his phone and reading updates from acquaintances he really could not care less about before he tried again.

He leaned over his seat into Kurt's space and asked, "so how are you?" Dragging out the 'so'.

"How am I? I'm o-kay?"

"That's great to hear, I'm feeling fine too."

"Nervous for your first big game?"

"Are you kidding?"

"Oh right yea, sorry. I forgot who I was talking to. You're totally out of these guy's league and it's going to be a walk in the park, right?"

"No. They are just a really shitty team, I played them at Dalton last semester, they don't take anything seriously."

"Oh and you do?"

Sebastian chewed his bottom lip to keep from laughing, knowing that less than a month ago there is no way he would have found that _adorable_.

"When it comes to baseball, there is nothing I am more serious about." He deadpanned.

"Yeah, right. Because baseball was totally your first choice."

"It's not a bad second choice."

"I'm just finding it hard to believe you're actually making this much effort in your time at 'public school' and not sulking in the corner of the courtyard."

"Sulking got boring."

"Not the Smythe way, eh?"

"Definitely not." He smirked.

"Well it only took what? A month?"

"Gimme a break, I'm sure it would take you longer than that to get over a break up."

"I haven't been through a break up." Kurt reminded him.

"I'm talking in hypotheticals." Sebastian teased.

"Blaine and I are fine." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I never said you weren't."

"You implied. It's not even a comparable situation."

"Touchy, touchy."

"No, not touchy. I just don't want to talk about Blaine with you."

"Then what do you want to talk about." Sebastian angled himself a little closer to Kurt.

"I don't want to talk about anything with you."

"Oh come on." Sebastian huffed dramatically, "you love spending time with me."

Kurt scoffed and turned away, unanswering.

"I'm right and you know it."

Kurt shook his head minutely.

"Come on, admit it."

"Admit what? That you're actually not as much of a dick as you like to lead people to believe? That hey, sometimes you're actually kinda funny and really really smart and you have a curiosity that goes beyond that pretty face?

Or that half the time I act like you're constantly pissing me off I'm holding out for your every word because you're the only person I talk to that remotely _gets_ me anymore? The other half of the time you actually just are pissing me off." He laughed quietly. "Or that you have this whole personality and depth that I'm desperate to explore and that even though you shrug it off you actually do care what people think about you, and you do care about other people. You care a lot. And that I like that?" Kurt rambled, turning to face Sebastian, their faces close.

Sebastian blinked. "You-"

Kurt swallowed hard and turned away. Sebastian wanted desperately to say something but he had no clue where to start. He opened and closed his mouth several times as Kurt's face reddened and he turned away a final time. Sebastian let him.

Sebastian knew that it would snow on the hills of hell before Kurt would admit his feelings to Sebastian, about Sebastian so easily, whilst sober, so warning bells were going off very loudly in Sebastian’s head. Time seemed to slow down as he spent the rest of the bus ride trying to think of a way, any way to break the awkwardness between them, hyperaware of every little movement Kurt made.

The bus pulled up soon after, Kurt sighing thankfully and Sebastian breathing again once he was out of the crowded stuffy air of the bus. And it hit Sebastian, there it was again, just how exhausted Kurt looked. He bit his tongue to prevent from saying anything and let Kurt walk off the bus, not stopping to wait for him.

The game goes exactly as expected, par one small hiccup.

Sebastian did his part, Kurt did his and the McKinley baseball team secured their place at Nationals by a milestone. Celebrations all around. Sebastian stared at Kurt from the other side of the field at every chance he got only to find Kurt staring right back. Sebastian narrowly managed to avoid being hit in the face with a swinging baseball bat as a result. Kurt laughed so much he fell off his seat. Sebastian narrowed his eyes and hit a home run just to show off. Kurt tipped his imaginary hat to him. Sebastian counted it as a victory.

Half time seemed to drag and go all too fast simultaneously. The baseball pitch could have been filled to the brim with cheerleaders and still Kurt would have been the only one he'd seen. It sounded cliché to say but from the moment he walked onto the pitch everything else blurred into the background.

 It was like that moment in American Beauty where the super creepy dad watches his daughters best friend dance seductively whilst rose petals float everywhere in the background - except Sebastian wasn't creepy, or a father. And there were no rose petals.

The opposing team may as well have called the game before half time because the second half was just embarrassing for everyone involved. The team pile back onto the bus in high spirits, clapping each other on the shoulder a little too frequently and a little too hard.

Kurt was earphone free and smiling wide as he waited for Sebastian to take his seat back on the bus again, no protesting bag in sight. Sebastian can't deny that he was totally shocked given the borderline confession he'd blurted out not two hours ago.

"Hey you." Kurt greeted warmly. "Great game."

"Thanks."  Sebastian returned the smile, shaking his bag off his shoulder and sitting down.

"I mean, you were right - they really were a shitty team. But you still played great."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Sebastian smiled.

The bus vibrated into ignition and the coach walked swiftly up and down the aisle to get a headcount before they pulled away back towards Lima.

Sebastian debated for an entire ten minutes whether to say anything about Kurt's improved mood. He didn't know whether to mention it directly, whether to address it seriously or joke it off.

 "You're in a better mood."

Kurt pursed his lips, probably trying to decide between taking offense and seeing the humour. Unfortunately his answer didn’t really help to clarify where they stood.

“Thanks.” No smile, no intonation and no eye contact.

“Great cheering, also by the way. You’re the best one out there.”

“Cute.” Kurt said, smiling from the side of his mouth.

“I’m serious.”

“It’s hard to tell if anything you ever say is serious.” Kurt retorted.

“Okay well, I’m seriously serious now.” Sebastian teased.

“Yeah well, forgive me for not believing you.”

“I’ll just have to prove it then.”

“Sebastian Smythe are you flirting with me?” Kurt said, his lips pursed and eyebrows raised. He didn’t look offended or disgusted, in fact, he seemed to be flirting back. Not that he was flirting.

“What- no? Me? Never. No way. No. Absolutely not.” He stumbled over his words.

Kurt threw him a look that suggested he didn’t buy a word.

“I’d think twice about that. You know Blaine will totally kick your ass?”

“Oh now that is just low. That may actually be _the_ most insulting thing you’ve ever said to me. How could you? I trusted you. Don’t insult me like that.”

Kurt burst into laughter. “It is way too easy to push your buttons these days.”

“Is not.” Sebastian struggled to hold his frown.

“Is too.” Kurt smiled wider.

“Is not.” A smile cracked at the corners of his mouth.

“You’re such a child.” Kurt rolled his eyes.

“You started it.” His smile was wider than Kurt’s.

“Please God end this journey now.” Kurt spoke upwards in mock frustration.

And just like that about half an hour into the journey they was a really loud, really unpleasant clunking noise, followed by a crash, decreasing speed and a string of profanity from the bus driver.

It took less than two seconds for Kurt to figure out what was going on as the bus crawled to a complete stop. He knocked his head back against the headrest forcefully and sighed.

Sebastian watched as the driver and Coach Beiste left the bus to inspect the cause of the problem. The rest of the bus were a mixture of annoyed, confused and sleepy.

“What? What is it?” Sebastian asked.

“From the sounds of it, the battery is kaput.” Kurt answered, rolling his head on the headrest to face Sebastian.

“How would you know?”

“How don’t you know?”

“Touché.” Sebastian smiled. “If you know what’s wrong can’t you go and fix it?”

“Sure thing. Do you happen to know where we can find any brand spanking new batteries at 11pm on a Thursday night?” Sebastian’s smile dropped. “Didn’t think so.”

Sebastian threw his head back against the headrest too. Kurt laughed.

“I guess they could try jump starting it.” Kurt muttered.

Sebastian looked to Kurt and then towards the front of the bus then back to Kurt.

“Well go on then.” Sebastian urged Kurt with a prod to the shoulder.

Kurt sighed dramatically but pulled himself up and off the bus.

No more than five minutes later half the baseball team and a few of the Cheerio’s were gathered around the bus attempting to kick start it into ignition. Sebastian had refused to even get off the bus until Kurt had practically dragged him, complaining that “the weight of his ego was weighing the bus down too much for them to have any chance of restarting the engine”.

Sebastian flipped him his middle finger in response. Kurt grabbed his hand and pulled him off the bus by force.

They tried a whole bunch of times to roll the bus down the road before finally admitting defeat. On the third try there was the smallest spark of power before it cut out with an even bigger spark and a pop.

After the fourth try Sebastian decided it would be more productive if he just sat on the roadside and laughed at how hard Kurt was trying. As well as admiring the view of his ass in the Cheerio’s uniform of course.

After one last attempt Coach Beiste loaded everyone back onto the bus whilst they decided what to do next.

“Alright ladies, this is the situation. We got one dead battery, a hundred mile stretch of road with no open shops and a motel about half a mile in that direction.”

The bus broke out into a series of inaudible complaints.

“Look, nobody likes this but this is how it is. You can call your parents, your friends, whoever and if they are willing to come pick you up, outstanding, great. If not, you gotta stay at the motel for the night. Sorry.”

There were more inaudible complaints. The group dispersed towards various sections of the road to make their calls. Sebastian reached for his phone and walked a few paces towards the edge of the darkened trees and called his father.

Ten minutes later when everyone had found out their fate for the night, Sebastian walked over to the side of the bus Kurt was leaning against.

“What’s the verdict?” Sebastian asked.

“No answer. Not that I was expecting one. Dad and Carol are in DC for the weekend and Finn is out with Rachel. I’m stuck.”

“Shit.”

Kurt pursed his lips and nodded in an ‘I’m totally fed up’ gesture.

“So what about you?”

“Maman is over in France for an old friend’s wedding and my father laughed down the phone for five straight minutes then refused to come pick me up on the excuse that he has and I quote ‘drank far too much wine’.”

“Guess we’re both stuck here then.” Kurt said with over the top enthusiasm.

“It would seem so.” He paused. “You know this whole thing is your fault, right?”

“How do you figure?”

“You practically prayed for this, I heard you. ‘Please God let this journey end now’.”

Kurt snorted. “Is that supposed to be an impression of me?”

“I thought it was pretty spot on if I can say so myself.”

“Dork.”

“Nerd.”

Ten minutes later, a list of all the stranded souls was done and Coach Beiste began to lead everyone not lucky enough to go home to their own beds that night towards the motel.

Sebastian didn’t know if it was the lingering tension, or the late hour or maybe just stress, but the walk felt so much longer than half a mile.

“Want me to give you a piggy back?” Kurt teased.

“I’m fine.”

“I can carry a bag for you if it will help?”

“Still good.”

“Your choice.” Sebastian huffed.

Kurt quickened his pace.

Soon after they arrived at the motel and Sebastian had never been so relieved to see a dirty, run down bunch of rooms in his life. And he spent most weeknights at Scandals.

“Are you boys okay sharin’? Whole place is totally booked up and most guys are having to double up with it being so last minute and all.” Coach Beiste asked when they reached their turn in the queue.

“No-” Kurt began to argue.

“Yea-“ Sebastian said simultaneously.

“Absolutely not.”

“Sure.”

Coach Beiste laughed. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t really asking. Here are your keys.”

She dropped the keys into Kurt’s hand and closed his fingers around them, tapping them twice before walking away, presumably to her own room.

The motel itself was quite large, considering that it was in the middle of a dusty, forgotten highway somewhere in Ohio. There were three stories of rooms, each with the same dark green door and one window to the right. Over half of the windows lacked curtains and most of the numbers on the doors were hanging off.

Their room was on the ground floor across the parking lot. There were a few cars scattered around, mainly old vintage cars – but not the good kind of vintage, more the neglected and rusty old cars that don’t get the love and attention they deserve. Kurt thought it was sad.

 On their way they passed a shady looking man with his hood pulled up and his phone tight to his ear. He was whispering but it was obvious he was frustrated. Though that could have been because he’d been shoving the same quarter into the vending machine around a dozen times to no avail. Kurt and Sebastian exchanged a silent look as they walked.

When they finally reached the door they paused. Kurt took a deep breath, expecting the worst.

“Here we are, room 47.” Sebastian said as he slide the key in the lock and turned, pushing the door open slowly.

The room was what was to be expected from a motel in the middle of nowhere.

It was damp and dark and run down. The wallpaper was faded and browning and peeling at the corners. He didn’t think it had been redecorated in at least fifteen years. Or even cleaned in that time.

There were two beds in the centre of the room, although it may as well have been just the one given the six inches that was barely separating them. They were covered in bright floral mismatching duvet covers that stood out harshly against the bleak tone of the room.

Towards the back of the room there was a bathroom with a door that didn’t shut properly, and to the left just by the door there was a small kitchen unit in which there were a bunch of twenty year old tins of soup and one really mouldy piece of bread.

Kurt walked into the room first and sat on the bed furthest from the door. Sebastian was certain he heard a spring snap from across the room.

“What a dump.” Kurt said, his nose turned up.

“You can say that again.”

“What a dump.” Kurt repeated, standing up.

Sebastian burst into laughter.

Kurt paused mid step and turned halfway to face Sebastian, the hint of a smile on his lips. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

Kurt was content to let it go and continued on his journey around the small, cramped room. Sebastian’s gaze followed him from the doorway.

Kurt didn’t dare touch anything and Sebastian couldn’t blame him. The whole place reeked of hygiene issues wall to wall and there was a layer of dust coating everything in sight thicker than all the product holding up Kurt’s hair.

When Kurt got to the bathroom, Sebastian reluctantly closed the door, placing his bag by the other bed and sitting down, wary of the springs. The mattress was indeed harder than a rock.

Once Kurt seemed dissatisfied with every corner of the room – including the cracked and constantly foggy for no reason mirror, the shower that didn’t have any hot water and the tap that sprayed cloudy water everywhere, he finally joined Sebastian again.

“Well, this is shit.”

Sebastian hummed in agreement.

“I think I would actually rather sleep on the bus.” Kurt added.

“I’d rather walk the hundred miles home. Without shoes.” Sebastian countered.

Kurt sighed loudly and led back on the bed. “I’m not going to make it through the night in here.”

“I think I’ve got just the fix.” Sebastian said, sitting up suddenly and diving across the room for his duffel bag.

He rooted around there for a few moments before pulling out an almost full bottle of Bourbon and showing it to Kurt excitedly.

“Bourbon? Are you kidding me? What are you, a brooding vampire?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes and flopped back down on his bed, unscrewing the cap and taking a large swig straight from the bottle. He offered it to Kurt who shook his head.

“Suit yourself, more for me.” Sebastian teased and as he brought the bottle back up to his lips Kurt grabbed it from him and took a long drink. “I thought so.” Sebastian laughed.

Kurt tried his very best to hold back his shiver at the bitter aftertaste but ultimately failed, which only helped Sebastian to laugh even harder.

“Why the fuck did you bring a bottle of Bourbon to a baseball game?” Kurt asked, handing him the bottle back.

“Well,” he drank, “you never quite know when your bus is going to break down forcing you to spend an entire night in close quarters with your sworn enemy.”

“Sworn enemy, eh?”

“Something like that.”

“I bet you say that about all the boys.” Kurt joked.

“It has been known to work from time to time.” Sebastian said, looking upwards as he got caught up in those memories.

“You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack.” Sebastian crossed his heart and drank.

“I bet you’ve tried every ridiculous, cheesy chat-up line out there.”

“You name it, I’ve done it.” Sebastian winked.

“I’d really rather not discuss the nitty gritty of your sex life, thanks.”

“Again I say, your loss.”

“Somehow I think I’ll manage.” Kurt said.

“So what do you want to talk about?”

“Who says we have to talk about anything?” Kurt countered.

“You’re right.” Sebastian sat up further. “We could just skip that and make out right now.” He teased.

“’Bastian.” Kurt scolded, hitting Sebastian on the arm.

“Worth a shot though, right?”

Kurt gave him a look.

“Definitely worth it for your reaction alone.”

Kurt didn’t say anything and instead grabbed the bottle from Sebastian’s hand.

They took turns in sharing the bottle and even found a couple of cracked and worn out glasses under the sink in the bathroom. Three drinking games and half a bottle later, they were both in a lighter mood.

“Better?”

“Yeah. Now I’m stuck in this mould collecting, rodent infested hell hole with you, but _drunk_.”

“Ouch.”

Kurt smiled and titled his glass towards Sebastian in a toast.

“To public school.”

“To public school,” Sebastian echoed, “may it forever torment children until the end of time.”

“Amen.” Kurt nodded and clinked his glass against Sebastian’s before downing the rest.

Kurt still shivered at the sourness and Sebastian found it more and more endearing every single time. He tilted his head as he watched Kurt reach over the space between them to refill his glass, his long arms doing most of the work and the look of absolute concentration on his face that portrayed the tipsiness. The way his hair was a deconstructed mess and how he didn’t seem to notice nor care. That he was still wearing his Cheerio’s uniform because he refused to sleep in his underwear next to Sebastian. How he looked genuinely carefree for the first time in weeks.

"Listen Kurt, about- earlier."

Kurt sighed loudly, deflating further into the bed and the smile dropping from his face. "I knew you'd bring this up again. Can't you just forget I said anything? Please?" He muttered.

"No, because you did. And now I'm replying."

"I'd really rather not talk about it."

"I'd really rather we did."

"If you're going to take the piss, don't bother."

"No. No why would I-?" Sebastian paused when Kurt shot him a look. "Never mind. Kurt I-"

"Please, Sebastian. Don't complicate this."

Sebastian's mouth hung open for a second before he closed it and looked down. Kurt took the chance to look away, suddenly finding the holes in the wall by the door much more captivating.

"You've been acting weird all week, Kurt." Kurt sighed and brought the pillow from his side onto his face, Sebastian pulled it away. "And I want to know what's going on with you. Is it Blaine?"

Kurt tensed. "It's none of your business." He said bluntly.

"I don't know a whole lot about friendship, but in my understanding, friends are supposed to care about each other."

"As if you've ever cared about anyone in your life." Kurt spat.

"Look, whatever you've got going on, I'm sorry. But don't take it out on me, okay? I've done nothing but be good to you since the moment I got here. I don't deserve this shit and you know it."

When Kurt didn't immediately reply, Sebastian sighed and attempted to move as far from Kurt as the cramped motel room would allow. He reached over to the abandoned bottle of Bourbon and filled his glass.

Kurt had put the pillow over his face once more.

“Whatever, I’m gonna go and get changed.” Sebastian muttered, slamming the bathroom door behind him.

When he got back, Kurt was still in the same position and Sebastian assumed he’d fallen asleep. He thought about waking him to tell him to get under the blankets but decided against it. Instead he grabbed his book from the front part of his bag and continued where he’d left off.

He’d got through about two chapters before Kurt spoke again.

"You're right." Kurt said from under the pillow, so quietly that Sebastian wasn't sure if Kurt had actually said anything at all.

"Excuse me?"

Kurt sighed dramatically and removed the pillow from his face. He sat up and ran his hands through his dishevelled hair. “I said you’re right.”

“About what?” Sebastian closed the book and put it to one side.

Kurt took a deep breath. “I have been acting, weird. And I shouldn’t take it out on you.” He paused. “It’s not your fault.”

Sebastian aimed for a witty comeback but instead what came out was a sincere, “want to talk about it?”

Kurt looked for a second like he was about to laugh Sebastian out of the room. But instead he resigned to a nod of okay. Sebastian tried to contain his surprise.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Hit me.” Sebastian half smiled.

“Alright then.”  Kurt sat up further and crossed his legs so he was fully facing Sebastian. Sebastian mirrored the image. “So we begin around one month ago, maybe a bit longer.” He paused, biting his lip as he thought about how to continue. “I thought it was just me being stupid and insecure again, you know that feeling when something just isn’t right? You don’t know what it is but you can’t shake it off and it gets bigger and bigger every day?”

Sebastian nodded.

“You know what? It’s stupid.”

“It’s not.”

“It stupid.”

“Kurt.”

Kurt sighed and looked at Sebastian.

“You’ll never let me live it down.”

Sebastian’s curiosity was peaked. “Go on.” He urged.

Kurt attempted to start his sentence half a dozen times to no avail. Sebastian thought against every urge in his body that was telling him to just yell ‘spit it out already!’ Maybe prompting would help.

“Is this about Blaine?”

Kurt’s gaze shot to Sebastian and he stopped worrying his lip. “How did you- how did you know?”

“You mean, despite the fact that every time I’ve mentioned his name around you lately you practically shoot steam out of the side of your face?”

Kurt shot him an unimpressed look.

“Oh please, for as long as I’ve known you both you’ve been attached at the hip and suddenly you lost your second shadow? Now to me that just screams ‘trouble in paradise’.”

Kurt rubbed his hand over his face. “That obvious, huh?”

“That, plus your phone background is of you and Berry.”

“So?” Kurt argued.

“So,” Sebastian began as if Kurt was the most dense person he’d ever had to explain something to, “you’re so obviously the kind of overly sentimental gay who makes collages of him and his boy-toy and uses them as a lock screen on every technological device in sight.”

“I’m best friends with Rachel.”

“More than you are with Blainey-boo?”

Sebastian knew he’d won that round. Kurt snapped his jaw shut and looked away. Figuring he was on a winning streak, he decided to push his luck a little further.

“Are you gonna tell me about it or not?”

He was almost positive Kurt would say no and that would be the end of it, but instead he drew his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling through his messages.

“I think Blaine might be cheating on me.”

“Blaine? Cheating on you?”

“Well, thinking about it. Maybe.”

“Why the fuck do you think that?”

“I um-“ He hesitated. “I found some texts on his phone. To Mike.”

“He’s cheating on you with Mike? The dancer?” Sebastian asked.

“What? No. No of course not.” Kurt looked at Sebastian like he was crazy. “Blaine had been, telling Mike about his doubts about me, our relationship, all the arguments we’ve had lately. It’s so embarrassing why couldn’t he have just told me how he was feeling?” Kurt led back on the bed.

Sebastian stayed silent. Partly because he wasn’t expecting such an honest admission into the struggles of their relationship, especially from Kurt’s side and partly because he had no idea what to say that wouldn’t piss Kurt off in some way, never mind actually offering useful advice or a shoulder to cry on.

So he just listened.

“I mean we had miscommunications in the past but this… I don’t know if we can come back from this.”

“Of course you can, you’re _KurtandBlaine_.” That almost sounded supportive.

Kurt laughed, it was bitter and cruel and it turned Sebastian’s stomach.

“Let’s face it, I’ve been living on borrowed time. There’s no way I could make someone like Blaine happy for the rest of his life. We’ve only been dating for what, a year, and he’s already bored of me. He’s so out of my league.”

“Okay first off I do not condone this pity party you’re creating for yourself right now, it’s miserable. And second, if anyone is out of anyone’s league, you’re out of his.”

“You don’t mean that.” Kurt said, wringing his hands together.

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”

He sat up to look at Sebastian. He tapped his nose as he said, “I may be pretty but I’m not dumb.”

“Have I ever lied to you?” He blinked his eyes innocently.

Kurt took a moment to seriously consider it. “No.” He even seemed to surprise himself with his answer.

Sebastian contained his shock and brought it back to his original point. “So when I say he wouldn’t cheat on you, I mean that too.”

He had no idea why he was defending Blaine, it just sort of slipped out. More than anything he just wanted to protect Kurt’s feelings, it had become almost an instinct. That’s what friends do, they omit truths to comfort those in need of a shoulder to cry on. He found it somewhat hilarious that the job had somehow fallen upon him.

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Kurt said.

And Sebastian hated it, he hated how certain Kurt sounded and how his voice betrayed that he completely and utterly blamed himself for Blaine’s betrayal. Hypothetical or not.

“I know he wouldn’t. The first time I met him he totally shut me down. And if he’d say no to this there is no way he’s straying elsewhere.”

He was aiming for humour and reassurance but Kurt’s reaction led him to believe he’d just made everything worse.

“People change.” Kurt said dejectedly.

“What? No they don’t.”

“So after weeks of telling me you’ve changed, you are now denying people’s ability to change.” Kurt questioned Sebastian’s logic as he narrowed his eyes.

“This isn’t about me.” Sebastian argued.

“No, it isn’t about you. But it would be so much easier to hate you instead of the man I’m in love with.”

“Then hate away.” Sebastian said with a smile and a welcoming gesture.

“Oh I wish I could.”

Sebastian wanted to ask what he meant more than anything, but he also understood that now was definitely not the right time. As he watched Kurt drift somewhere far away, deep in his own thoughts, he felt a pang of helplessness and desperation at not being able to fix it.

Kurt hadn’t really made the situation any clearer, he already knew Blaine was the issue and he hadn’t clarified what the texts had said or if Kurt had any other proof to suggest Blaine was cheating.

But he realised that even if Kurt did, Sebastian would be the last person he would tell.  The only reason he’d let his guard down in the first place was thanks to the Bourbon.

“Come on, it’s late. We should get some sleep.” He tapped Kurt lightly on the shoulder, pulling him away from his daydream.

Kurt hummed in agreement and got under the duvet. After a few moments Sebastian reached in between the beds to turn off the nightlight casting the whole room into shadow.

They sat there in the darkened room then, the only light supplied from the moonlight filtering in from the moth bitten curtains on the windows. It lit their faces in beautiful ways, half in light, half in the dark.

Sebastian was led on his back, facing the ceiling with his hands resting behind his head, tracing patterns on the ceiling and writing song lyrics in his head to the beat of Kurt tapping his fingers against one another.

“’Bastian?” Kurt whispered, his voice cracking the silence.

“Yea, Kurt?” He inclined his head in Kurt’s direction but remained focused on the ceiling.

“Can I, tell you something?”

Sebastian’s heart skipped a beat. He didn’t know how much more honesty he could take from Kurt tonight. He turned his head to look at Kurt before answering.

“Sure.”

“There was,” he paused, “a point in my life where I couldn’t stop being mad at you.” Kurt almost whispered into the darkness. “But now-“

“But now?” Sebastian asked, hanging onto every breath.

Kurt sighed. “But now it’s like I can’t be mad at you. And I mean I try. I try so hard.” He paused. “Like tonight. Tonight I was so determined to ignore you or even insult you every chance I got- but I couldn’t do it. Why wouldn’t I do it?”

“I, maybe you’ve finally fallen for my charm.”

Sebastian couldn’t see but he was certain Kurt just rolled his eyes. “Shut up, jackass.”

“Just putting it out there.”

Kurt sat up and shot him a look.

“The truth is,” he began after a moment, “it wasn’t _you_ I was mad at. As much as I cannot believe I’m about to say this,” he laughed. “You haven’t done anything wrong. All you’ve done is be _there_ for me, you know.” More silence. “And I’ve tried to hate myself for letting you in, I have. But how can I when you’re pretty much the only person in my life who doesn’t walk all over me for their own selfish needs? Who just _gets_ me without me having to explain a single word? Who understands I don’t always need coddling and ice cream as a pick me up?”

Sebastian moved his hands slowly from behind his head and sat up to face Kurt.

“Bottom line is, I can’t just blame you for everything that goes wrong in my life. Not anymore. You’re not the evil villain. You’re a person. You’re my friend.” He continued.

“Friend.” Sebastian echoed.                                                                                                                                      

“Friend.” Kurt said with as much sincerity as he could muster after drinking half a bottle of Bourbon.

Sebastian tilted his head and Kurt blinked. Sebastian reached out his arm slowly and placed the back of his fingers softly on Kurt’s cheek. Kurt leaned into the touch, first just slightly and then more. He brought up his hand and placed it over Sebastian’s, stroking it lightly before pulling it down and into his own. He closed his eyes and leaned down to kiss the centre of Sebastian’s palm.

Kurt looked up towards Sebastian, still holding his hand. Then they were staring at each other, neither willing nor able to process exactly what was happening. They stayed like that for a while, neither with the courage to make a move for the better or the worse, the only sound in the room other than their own heavy breathing was the broken clanking noise coming from the extractor fan in the bathroom.

Sebastian was acutely aware of the feeling of Kurt’s fingers wrapped around his own. They were warm, and soft, so unbelievably soft, and he never ever wanted to let go. Kurt’s fingers twitched a little and Sebastian broke eye contact to look down at their hands. They twitched again, tightening.

Sebastian looked back up to Kurt, their eyes locked and lips parted. Sebastian inched closer, so slowly it was almost painful. There was less than a breath separating them, Sebastian’s eyes were flicking rapidly between Kurt’s eyes and his lips in anticipation, all it would take would be one more inch when-

Kurt broke away, leaning back and running his hands over his face.

“Oh my god, I am so fucking drunk.”

“Yeah, yeah. I- I wouldn’t disagree with you.” Sebastian uttered breathlessly, frozen in the same position.

Kurt ran his hands through his hair and stood up. He wandered over to the mirror and his eyes bugged at his reflection. Sebastian was still frozen in the same position.

He thought he heard Kurt mention something about sorting out his face or hair or maybe it was his wig he wasn’t sure. He couldn’t process anything other than the extreme rush of emotions that were overwhelming him right now.

There was desire, want and anticipation followed by disappointment, confusion and rejection. Then finally there was sadness, frustration and embarrassment. He couldn’t settle on a primary emotion so instead he led back on the bed and tried to keep the early signs of the inevitable headache at bay.

Sebastian didn’t know how long Kurt was in the bathroom for, though he was sure he’d dozed off a couple of times. Kurt seemed to have sobered up somewhat though.

He thought and thought about what he should say, if anything. And what this meant, if anything. He waited for him to get settled in bed again before speaking.

“Hey Kurt.” He started.

“’Seb?” He didn’t know if it was lack of sleep or intoxication or the ever growing headache but he couldn’t read Kurt’s tone so he decided to chicken out of the speech he had planned in his head.

“Sucks about Blaine.”

Kurt snorted.

“I’m serious.”

“Whatever.”

He knew that was the end of the conversation. Part of him was thankful.

Though it was true, despite his selfish wishes, he really did feel bad for Kurt. But he was also angry that someone as lucky as Blaine would throw aside someone as incredible as Kurt with total disregard for his feelings. It made him sick.

As did the realisation that apparently Sebastian had morals now. And strong human emotions. For Kurt. His head was an even more tangled mess of unwanted thoughts and feelings. It hurt. He reached in between the beds for the bottle and drained the last of it. He swallowed hard and worked on keeping his breathing even and his eyes closed. Soon after he heard Kurt sigh and turn over.


	9. Not A Coffee Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped to get this up before the new year, but it turned out to take much longer than I thought, and I ended up splitting the chapter in two. I'll post the next half in a week or so, I promise. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and we're getting so close (finally) to some actual kurtbastian. Who knew?   
> As always, thanks to my fabulous beta Lori and to everyone who enjoys this. Criticism and comments are highly welcomed because I always love hearing what you have to say.   
> Anyway, I hope you had a wonderful holiday and a Happy New Year, wherever you are.

Sebastian woke up a few hours later to a knock on the door and Coach Beiste informing them through the door that they would be leaving in around an hour after the battery had been replaced.

He rubbed his hands over his face and stretched where he lay, turning his head to the bedside table to check what time it was. 7:30am. Sebastian sighed dramatically and pulled the covers back over his head when he realised there was something else on the table. Resting in front of the clock were two aspirin and a glass of water.

He picked up the two tiny white pills and inspected them, as if they would disappear from sight if he didn’t. He furrowed his brow and looked to the right side of the room, where Kurt was currently stood in front of the mirror, spraying his hair to within an inch of its life.

“You’re welcome.” Kurt said, looking at Sebastian through the reflection of the mirror and fixing a few of the stray hairs that had fallen.  When Sebastian still didn’t say anything Kurt turned to face him, “come on, take the aspirin and get up already.”

“And good morning to you too.” Sebastian huffed.

“Are you always this cranky in a morning or are you going to blame the hangover?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Sebastian said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively before downing the pills with the water.

Kurt pursed his lips, unimpressed. “If you don’t get out of bed right now I will pull you out myself.”

“Bring it on.” Sebastian encouraged.

Kurt placed his hand on his hip and raised his eyebrow, using his free hand to point the can of hairspray in Sebastian’s direction. “Don’t test me.”

“What’re you gonna do? Hairspray me to death?” He mock gasped.

“An acceptable option, yes.” Kurt said, pushing out his bottom lip and nodding.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and then noticed the two Styrofoam cups of coffee sat on the kitchen counter, which were both empty.

“Jeez Kurt how long have you been up? We only fell asleep a few hours ago.”

Kurt shrugged. “Your coffee was starting to go cold so I drank it for you. Plus, unlike you I’m not blessed with a naturally flawless exterior and I don’t have the luxury of just rolling out of bed.” He continued, gesturing towards Sebastian. He turned around to face the mirror again and frowned, staring back at his reflection intently. He started to pick at bits of stray hair and straightened his collar a few times. “This does not come naturally.”

Sebastian would’ve taken more time to realise that Kurt hadn’t only complimented him but had implied he was ‘naturally flawless’ if he wasn’t so concerned about Kurt finding himself so unappealing.

“Kurt.” He said.

Kurt paused for a second, his hand resting on one of the buttons of his shirt, his eyes flicked to meet Sebastian’s in the mirror. “Forget it.”  He muttered, looking down and breaking eye contact.

Sebastian pulled aside the duvet and walked over to stand beside Kurt, holding eye contact in the mirror the entire time. He stopped only a step away from Kurt but didn’t move to touch him. “Kurt.” He repeated, softer, quieter. “You’re-“

Kurt turned around quickly and placed a hand on Sebastian’s chest, silencing him. “Stop.” He uttered, his eyes looking up into Sebastian’s and searching them almost desperately.

Sebastian opened his mouth to protest but Kurt shook his head.

“What are we doing?” Kurt whispered.

Sebastian searched back desperately. “I don’t know.”

Kurt’s eyes slipped closed and he sighed. His hand closed into Sebastian’s chest and he took a deep breath. Sebastian didn’t really know what to do, he kind of felt a little nauseous. Not because Lady Hummel was now sober and standing less than a foot away with his hand resting on his chest but because _Kurt_ was sober and standing less than a foot away with his hand resting on his chest.

After a moment Kurt seemed to shake himself out of whatever trance he had been in and took a large step back. Sebastian remained still. Kurt plastered a smile on his face and brushed down his shirt, rebuilding the armour.

“If you don’t get dressed soon the bus is going to leave without you, you know. And I’m not coming back to pick you up.” Kurt said nudging Sebastian’s shoulder with the lightest of brushes.

Sebastian was deeply confused. “Yeah, I’m gonna go and, do that, then.” He said, walking around Kurt to the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He leaned heavily against the door, trying to process what exactly had happened in the past twelve or so hours.

He wandered over to the bathroom mirror, leaning on the counter and groaned at how hung over he looked. No more than two seconds later there was a knock on the door, Sebastian pushed off from the counter and opened the door. “You’re gonna need your bag, too.” Kurt said, handing Sebastian the duffel with a smile.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” Kurt replied and Sebastian slowly closed the door again.

When Sebastian exited the bathroom from his shower, he entered a near spotless room. Not that it was a mess to begin with, discounting all of the mould and grime and peeling wallpaper, but Sebastian’s bed had been made with meticulous care and the twenty odd hair care products that had previously been littering the dresser were neatly packed away in the bag currently resting besides Sebastian’s own in the doorway.

“Do you ever stop?” Sebastian asked.

“Breakfast is on the table, complete with fresh coffee.” Kurt replied from across the room where he was wiping down the kitchen counter. The same kitchen counter than hadn’t been touched once during their stay.

Sebastian crossed the room and looked at the sandwich Kurt had most likely picked up from the vending machine, noting that it was cheese and tomato with mayonnaise, he approved. There was also a bag of crisps and a small candy bar besides a large steaming cup of coffee. Of course, Sebastian went for that first.

He hummed deeply in satisfaction at the first sip despite the coffee being flavourless and cheap, it was better than nothing. Probably.

“Wow, Sebastian. I didn’t take you as the kinda guy that liked cheap coffee.” Kurt teased.

“Anything to get rid of the taste of alcohol and nausea, right?” He tipped his cup towards Kurt.

Kurt tipped his half-drunk coffee in return and then they both took a long gulp.

“Oh no that really is awful.” Kurt said, practically spitting the drink back out. Sebastian laughed loudly when there was a knock on the door.

“We’re leaving in five, boys. Don’t keep us waiting.” Coach Beiste said through the door.

“Are you ready to go?” Kurt asked.

“You packed all my stuff already so, yeah. It looks like it.” Sebastian joked. “Man, I’m gonna miss this place, so many memories.”

“You’re such a dork.” Kurt said, shaking his head in disbelief and slinging his satchel over his shoulder and heading out of the room. “Let’s go.”

The bus ride back was relatively uneventful given everything that had happened the previous night, Sebastian even slept for part of the journey and was certain from the face that Kurt pulled when he woke up, that Kurt had done something that would make Sebastian regret that.

They arrived at McKinley at around 9:00am thanks to the morning’s traffic and were unfortunately not given the rest of the day off to recover from their overnight stay.

They soldiered through the rest of the day and Sebastian fell asleep twice more, including at the back of the choir room in the final Glee rehearsal of the week, much to Rachel’s dismay. Kurt took a photo of him and then bought him a coffee from the cafeteria to make up for it.

"Need a ride?" Sebastian asked as he pulled up alongside Kurt, who was walking across the parking lot.

Kurt held up a set of keys in response before pointing in the direction of his car. "Got my car back."

"Shame."

"I think I've spent long enough trapped in a confined space with you for one day, don't you?"

“Technically it was one whole night but-“

“’Bastian.” Kurt warned.

"Of course, absolutely."

"See you tomorrow." Kurt replied, moving to walk away. And if Sebastian didn't know any better, he'd think he heard something like fondness returning in Kurt's voice.

“But tomorrow is Saturday.”

“I know.”

“But-“ Sebastian began.

Kurt shot him a look and Sebastian closed his mouth. Usually on Saturdays they ‘bumped’ into each other at the Lima Bean and ‘ended up’ sitting together for an hour or two or most likely five, and it struck Sebastian then that maybe Kurt was expecting it to happen, and more than that, he wanted it to.

Sebastian nodded and uttered an ‘okay’ and rolled up his window and began the drive home, receiving another wave from Kurt as he turned the corner.

Maybe things were looking up after all.

+

Just after two o’clock the next afternoon Sebastian pushed the door to the Lima Bean aside and spotted Kurt sat at their usual table, with two drinks in front of him. Kurt had his nose practically buried behind his laptop, his brows knitted together whilst he typed furiously, it was adorable. Sebastian couldn’t help the enormous smile that lit up his face as he crossed the room, pulled out the chair opposite and sat down without even asking permission.

Kurt didn’t look up as Sebastian leaned forward and grabbed the coffee cup closest to him and drank, it was still the perfect temperature. He also didn’t remove his attention from his laptop as he answered the question that hadn’t yet left Sebastian’s lips. “I saw you park your car outside, figured I’d get a refill.”

“I-“

“You’re welcome.” Kurt finally drew his focus away from the screen, pushing the laptop aside and closing the lid, smiling widely at Sebastian.

“I don’t deserve you.” Sebastian uttered fondly before realising the implications of what he said. His eyes widened and he hurried to take a long drink of his coffee to cover the blush he felt colouring his face.

“No, you really don’t.” Kurt either didn’t notice or wanted to avoid that area just as much, Sebastian was silently grateful.

“So what are you so furiously working on?”

“Hm?”

“On your computer? What’s giving you that I-hate-the-world look?”

Kurt laughed. “Oh, I’m working on an… article.”

“An article? We have to write an article? For what class? I don’t remember this.” Sebastian sat forward, his eyes wide.

“Relax, dummy. It’s for my blog.” Kurt smiled fondly, taking a sip of his drink.

“You have a blog?” Sebastian raised his eyebrows.

“Duh.”

“Can I see?” He sat even further forward and tried to peak at Kurt’s notes.

“No. No way in hell.” Kurt grabbed the papers and pulled them closer towards him.

“Why not?” Sebastian pouted.

“Because I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“No, no it’s not bad, it’s actually really influential in certain circles of the blogger sphere and I have quite a large following. But I know you, and I’m not telling.”

“It hurts that you don’t trust me.” Sebastian said in mock offence.

“Yeah well it hurts that for half the time I’ve known you, you referred to me as a girl.” Kurt said it offhandedly, yet there was something about the tightening of his smile that suggested there were undertones of old wounds that still hadn’t healed.

“Kurt.” Sebastian said softly.

“I’m so over it.” Kurt said with a brush of his hand. “But you do know that mis-gendering people and implying that women are inferior is literally the grossest thing a person can do, right?”

Sebastian didn’t reply.

“I’m sorry. We’re past that I know, I’m just having a terrible week. You’re not that guy anymore.”

“Says who?” Sebastian smirked.

“Says me.” They shared a moment that was so confusingly intimidate that Sebastian almost forgot how to breathe entirely. “Drink your coffee.”

Sebastian did as he was told for lack of his brain being able to function to do anything else and they slipped into a mainly comfortable silence. Kurt wrote a few more notes on the papers set beside his laptop, scrawls and scribbles that Sebastian was sure only really made sense to Kurt. At the bottom of the pile he glimpsed flashes of colour, photographs perhaps, along with a few rough sketches that intrigued him even further.

Sebastian reached for his own laptop after a minute or two when Kurt reopened his, typing rapidly again as he copied his notes onto whatever document he was working on, Sebastian was desperate to know. He typed in the password once the computer had woken up, staring at Kurt whilst his desktop loaded properly.

Which is why he failed to immediately notice the unfortunately explicit website opened full screen on his laptop from his previous session which was definitely not safe for work. He slammed the lid with more force than necessary, drawing the startled looks from several of the other patrons sat around, including Kurt. He didn’t say anything, just narrowed his eyes until Sebastian shrugged, then he returned to working on his blog post.

Sebastian knew he was blushing furiously and he resisted the urge to hide his head in shame. Sebastian Smythe was not the kind of guy who would be _embarrassed_ about being caught surfing a gay porn website in front of twenty mortified coffee addicts in central Lima, yet here he was.

He exhaled upwards, flicking a stray hair aside and attempted to open his laptop for the second time, slowly. He retyped his password with the lid still half closed and blindly navigated the trackpad to the top right where he could minimize the screen. Of course, this backfired on him hugely.

Sebastian’s face became impossibly redder as the low tones that could only be described as erotic began to drift from Sebastian’s computer. He could see Kurt look slowly towards Sebastian, his eyes wide and his mouth partly hanging open.

“Please do not tell me that is what I think it is.” Kurt whispered rapidly, his eyes darting to either side, conscious of the amount of people looking their way. Sebastian didn’t need to look to know that it was pretty much the entire shop, including the staff.

Sebastian tried to downplay the situation, opening the lid more fully so he could actually see it and hitting the mute button as if his life depended on it. He closed the tab after that and took a deep breath. “No. No absolutely not.” He said, shaking his head furiously but still unable to even glance towards Kurt.

Kurt narrowed his eyes, considering his reply. He didn’t believe for one second that whatever tab Sebastian had open wasn’t in fact something that lurks in the darkest corners of the internet. He didn’t really know how to react, after all he shouldn’t really be surprised to hear those kinds of noises coming from Sebastian or something that belonged to him. Now that he considered it, Sebastian had toned down his sexual innuendos and topics of that nature a lot, lately. Like, a lot a lot.

The harder he tried the less he could recall the last time Sebastian had said something crude around or about Kurt, and two nights ago they had got drunk out of their minds, practically shared a bed together _and_ almost kissed. Kurt’s stomach flip flopped at the thought and he internally berated himself.

It took him a moment to catch up with his external reaction, which was laughing. Laughing really loudly. He tried to school his features into something more appropriate but one glance at Sebastian’s horrified face set him off once again. Everything about the situation was hilarious, really. And beyond that, the fact that Sebastian was embarrassed by it was enough to make Kurt for the foreseeable future. That particular slice of information made Kurt laugh so hard he began to clutch at his sides and his cheeks began to hurt.

Sebastian continued to stare at the table, jaw clenched tight, his palm resting on the table and looking very much like he wanted to disappear in the ground, or punch Kurt square in the face. It was impossible to tell.

“Are you done?” Sebastian muttered.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry it’s- it’s just-“ Kurt spoke between chuckles.

“Hilarious. I know.” Sebastian said monotonously.

“Oh come on, Seb. You don’t think there is anything ironically hilarious about this?” Kurt cooed, pursing his lips.

“I think you find it funny enough for the both of us.”

“Consider it karma, then. Or a lesson to learn about your shameful habits.”

“Fuck off.” Sebastian said, flipping his middle finger at Kurt for extra effect. Kurt laughed louder at Sebastian’s irritability. “I’m going to the restroom.” Sebastian announced as he stood and crossed The Bean, a dozen pairs of eyes following him.

“Great idea.” Kurt called after him. “Head straight for the men’s room right after you’ve publically exposed your addiction to pornography. No conclusions will be jumped to, I can guarantee.” Sebastian halted for a second, cursing under his breath but continued towards the restroom at double the pace.

He locked himself in the bathroom for at least fifteen minutes, maybe more, maybe less, he wasn’t keeping track of the time. Kurt might have left by now, too embarrassed by Sebastian’s public humiliation to stay. He hoped he was still here, he didn’t want Kurt to leave without saying goodbye.

He shook his head, thinking about how pathetic he felt. He could walk back out there right now with his head held high, the trademark smirk on his face and the confidence deeply embedded into even the way he walked, except he can’t. Because he’s kind of, sort of, absolutely terrified of what Kurt will say. Which again, is totally ridiculous because Kurt knows Sebastian is – or was, he hadn’t been to Scandals in nineteen days, not that he was counting or anything - a sex obsessed asshole and they still managed to form whatever the hell this was.

He liked to tell himself it was because Scandals had become unbearably boring and that he’d pretty much slept with every regular in there at one point or another, and whilst neither of these points were untrue, he knew that wasn’t really the reason. The thing was, that’s not who he really is, at least not anymore. And it’s certainly not who he wants to be. Spending so much time around Kurt had unintentionally released a kinder, deeper, more real side of himself he never really knew he had. Or was too afraid of showing because he thought it would make him vulnerable. And fit there was Sebastian was afraid of it was showing his weaknesses.

Yet Kurt just _naturally_ brought that side out of him, without even really trying to, completely unknowingly to both of them, until it was too late for him to pretend he wasn’t actually, genuinely happy with who he was becoming for the first time in forever. He wasn’t afraid because actually, he was overwhelmingly relieved.

The reason was Kurt, on every single level. And _that_ was fucking terrifying.

He unlocked the stall door and turn on the nearest faucet, splashing his face with the icy water. Then he stared at his reflection for an unacceptable long time until the door opened and a middle aged man walked in. After Sebastian had stopped having a total identity crisis in the restroom of The Lima Bean, he pulled himself together, checked his quiff and walked back outside. He didn’t realise he was holding his breath until he spotted Kurt, still typing away in the exact spot he’d abandoned him in as if he’d never been there in the first place.

He stood for an extra few seconds, feeling like a complete creepy, but enjoying being able to see how Kurt behaved when he thought no one was watching. Except, the longer Sebastian observed him, the more he realised that Kurt always behaved as if he was being watched. He was sat with his back straight against the chair, his jaw tight, eyes wide and half his attention on the laptop in front of him and half on his surroundings. It was almost as if he was hyper aware of everything around him and it wasn’t conceivable to let go.

Maybe that was the way he was raised or maybe it was due to years of bullying creating an unbreakable wall that only comes off in the safety of home, Sebastian knew plenty about that. Or maybe he was just reading too much into the situation and the chair was uncomfortable.

He crossed the floor in a few quick steps, pulling out his chair quietly enough so as to not draw too much attention to himself but also loudly enough to announce his return to Kurt. When Kurt still hadn’t paid him any attention after a few moments, Sebastian cleared his throat and said, “So you’re not gonna say anything? Make a joke? Ask me why? Laugh in my face some more?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kurt replied with a smile, meeting Sebastian’s eyes for the first time since he’d sat down.

“Yeah fucking righ-“ And then it clicked and he realised that Kurt was letting it go for Sebastian’s sake. He was giving him a chance to put the whole thing behind them and to save further embarrassment and Sebastian didn’t think he’d ever felt so grateful in his life. Well. “Oh.”

“Yes, oh.” Kurt smirked. He glanced towards his watch. “I’m going to get a refill and a Panini from the counter, do you want anything?” He asked as he leaned back to find his wallet which was resting in the pocket of his jacket on the back of his chair.

“No, no. I’ll get it.” Sebastian said, standing up abruptly and reaching for the wallet in his back pocket. “You got the last round, so it’s my turn.” Sebastian added when he saw the confusion on Kurt’s face.

“Alright, if you insist.” Kurt let go of his jacket and glanced towards the menu board above the counter. “Get me my regular coffee order and a…”  He clicked his tongue as he considered before pausing and turning back to Sebastian, a grin on his face. “Actually, you know what, surprise me.”

“You got it.” Sebastian replied and headed to join the back of the queue. Part of him felt like this was some kind of a test and that if he didn’t get it right that would be the end of their coffee ‘dates’. And Sebastian didn’t think he wanted to go back to a life without them now he knew how amazing they were.

The queue was short and Sebastian returned to their table not five minutes later with a tray in hand, he placed it in between their laptops and ran across the room to fetch some napkins and cutlery, ignoring the voice in the back of his head that was telling him it wasn’t a date over and over, so stop trying so damn hard. He pushed Kurt’s plate towards him so he knew which one was his before sitting down.

“One classic Italian Panini for you with extra salad on the side complete with a Grande non-fat mocha.” Sebastian said, placing a knife and fork beside the plate. Kurt hummed, impressed. “You’re welcome.”

Sebastian started on his own food, the slightly less healthy Italian melt and they fell into silence again. The only sounds apart from idle background chatter and the hum of the coffee machine was Kurt’s hands flying across the keyboard. Sebastian wanted to make a comment about not eating whilst working with technology since he figured Kurt knew better than that, but he didn’t.

“Okay.” Kurt blurted out once Sebastian had nearly finished his sandwich.

“Okay what?” Sebastian asked, confused.

“I’m done, with my article.” Kurt said, shoving the last bite of bread into his mouth and reaching for a napkin to wipe his hands on.

Sebastian hesitated for a moment, unsure of what that had to do with him. “And?” He replied mid-chew.

“And,” Kurt began, pushing the laptop slightly away from himself, “I thought you might wanna take a look.” Kurt spoke it as a statement, but there were clear undertones of uncertainty in his voice.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I don’t see why not.” Kurt shrugged. Sebastian opened his mouth to reply but Kurt continued. “Actually no I do see the problem, many problems. I’m not-“

“Kurt. Just pass me the damn computer.” Sebastian interrupted his rambling.

“Okay.” Kurt said, biting his lip but pushing the laptop across the table in an invitation.

Sebastian leaned forward and grabbed it, turning it the rest of the way in one smooth motion. He clicked his tongue as he focused on the tab already open in front of him, presented neatly and tastefully coloured, he was impressed so far. His eyes settled main text as he began to read the article, hyper aware of how Kurt had pretty much stopped breathing by this point and thought about how if he had gotten the chance to make Kurt squirm this way not three months ago, he would’ve done everything in his power to make it excruciatingly worse for him. Now, however, he found himself keeping his expression open and considerate before he could accurately collate all of his thoughts.

The article was about fashion trends for next season or something, Sebastian wasn’t really certain. As Kurt had pointed out on more than one occasion, Sebastian didn’t care much for fashion, or at all, and sometimes he had literally got dressed in the dark. Sebastian laughed to himself about the frequency with which Kurt pulled a face akin to devastation when Sebastian showed up to school wearing something he called ‘a crime against fashion’. He quickly glanced down to see what he’d ended up wearing today – designer jeans and an simple white tee – and deemed it ‘not too bad’, if not incredibly boring.

Interspersed with the text were images, some hand drawn and coloured, some digitally crafted and some a mixture of both, but all were beautifully innovative. Sebastian’s hand actually froze where it was currently hovering over the trackpad and his eyes widened. He leaned closer to the screen to take in the artwork more closely and saw Kurt react nervously in his peripheral vision, wringing his hands tightly.

“Are those your own designs?” Sebastian said, unable to keep the shock and awe out of his voice.

“Um, yes?”

“Kurt, these are amazing.” Sebastian enthused, his gaze going from the screen to Kurt and back again.

Kurt huffed.

“No, seriously. They are _really_ impressive. The use of colour, the style, the originality and the depth of your concept. You should really consider applying for Vogue or some shit like that.” Sebastian gushed, scrolling down further to read the older posts, making a mental note of the blog URL.

“Please, it’s incredibly basic. I only do it for my own enjoyment really.” Kurt shrugged.

“Well I think you should seriously consider it.” Sebastian said, looking at Kurt properly now.

“Careful, you’re starting to sound a little bit supportive there. Someone might actually mistake you with having a soul.” He deflected.

“Oh har har.”

“And since when were you an expert on fashion design?” Kurt asked, sipping his coffee.

“Me? Are you kidding? I’m not. Look at what I’m wearing.” He gestured to himself. Kurt looked him up and down before tilting his head in agreement. “Exactly. But, I am quite fond of art and literature, and I know talent when I see it.”

“You never cease to find a way to surprise me every single day.” Kurt said, shaking his head.

“I’m just getting started.”

Kurt didn’t know what to say. Which was okay for the time being, because Edward Smythe just walked through the door, making a beeline for Sebastian as soon as he saw him sat with another boy, grinning at him like he hung the damn moon.

“Hey buddy.” Edward announced loudly, clapping Sebastian on the shoulder and grinning widely at Kurt who was looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Dad! Hey, what are you doing here?” Sebastian said with undertones of irritation in his voice, looking up to his father and trying to silently communicate some kind of warning to him.

Edward ignored the question and turned his attention fully to Kurt, extending his hand. “Who’s this handsome young fella?”

“Dad please.” Sebastian was honest-to-God blushing.

“I’m Kurt.” He interjected, accepting the handshake.

“Edward Smythe, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He clasped Kurt’s hand firmly.

“Likewise.”

“Oh he’s pretty, you sure do know how to pick ‘em.” Edward staged whispered to Sebastian and Kurt blushed furiously and tried to ignore the comment. “So, how do you know Sebastian?” Edward asked, addressing Kurt directly as he pulled up a chair in between the two of them, ignoring Sebastian’s protests.

“We go to school together.” Kurt answered, glancing from Sebastian to his father, both of whom were staring at him intently.

“He’s educated, already a step up from your last four conquests. Perhaps a little out of your league?” Edward laughed, nudging Sebastian’s shoulder. He glared in return.

“Oh I’m not- we’re not-“ Kurt stumbled, gesturing between them wildly.

“He’s taken.” Sebastian finished and something about the way he said it drew Kurt’s gaze sharply to him.

“Oh I see, well that’s a downright shame.” Edward shook his head.

“Thank you?” Kurt asked, unsure how to read the statement, there seemed to be an extra layer Edward was attempting to communicate with his son. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his father.

“Please leave, dad.” Sebastian said bluntly.

“Where have your manners gone, young man?” He admonished.

“He has manners?” Kurt piped up from across the table, all fake shock and gasps.

“And he’s hilarious too.” Edward laughed loudly, turning once more towards Kurt. “You know, he was the sweetest little angel when he was younger. He’d dote on little Anna who lived next door like a true gentleman, following her absolutely everywhere. He’d hold open doors, bring her gifts, he even wrote her letters to tell her how beautiful she was, they were so sweet.”

“Dad!” Sebastian practically shouted. Sebastian’s glare refocused on Kurt when he heard muffled laughter which turned into an awkward cough under the intensity.

“Oh lighten up Sebby.” His father nudged him on the shoulder. “We were only teasing.” He added, pinching his cheeks.

“Oh piss off.” Sebastian grunted, pushing his father away with his arm.

“Is somebody all grumpy and ashamed of their old man?” He pouted. When Sebastian didn’t answer he laughed again and pushed away from the table, standing up. “Sorry I interrupted your little coffee date.” He winked at Kurt, his hands gesturing between the two of them and then he walked away towards the doors.

“Not a date.” Sebastian called, not even turning in his chair to watch his father walk away, his eyes firmly fixed on his hands which were clasped tightly together. He was afraid to look at Kurt. “Well, that’s my father.” He laughed awkwardly.

He heard Kurt chuckle and looked up, his eyes were bright and he was smiling and he didn’t at all look offended, annoyed or like he wanted to disown Sebastian. Which was good.

“Everything is so clear to me now.” Kurt mused.

“What?” Sebastian’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“Why you are who you are. It all makes sense now.” Kurt teased.

Sebastian shifted uncomfortably. He loved his father, he did, he was passionate and understanding and for the most part lenient, he wanted the best for his son and he accepted him even with his worst traits and admittedly they did have a fair bit in common. But that didn’t mean that in any universe he would be okay to be seen in public with him, especially around his friends, because it brought out the ugliest side of his father. The side that wanted nothing more than to bring out the baby photos and humiliate his son until he literally crumble into ash on the ground.

Something about it being a father’s favourite pastime or some other bullshit.

“Shut up.” Sebastian muttered.

“Well I think he’s great.” Kurt smiled and Sebastian found himself returning it despite his embarrassment. “So, Anna, huh? I wanna hear all about her, spare me no details.” He winked, Sebastian’s smile fell flat and he groaned loudly.

+

Sunday morning found Sebastian awake unusually earlier, which he figured is what happens when he doesn’t spend all night out partying and then nursing a killer hangover, it was kind of nice to feel so well rested for once. He woke in a particularly good mood, which no amount of denial could convince anyone wasn’t because of Kurt.

He thought back to their conversation in the Lima Bean yesterday and how despite not getting laid, drunk or even touching anyone in a fashion that wasn’t appropriate for public display, it was still one of the best days his had all year. Getting to know ‘the real Kurt’ over a few cups of coffee a few nights a week, teasing each other mercilessly or even working companionably in silence was fast becoming preferable to literally any other activity he would usually otherwise occupy himself with. And that would frighten him more if he wasn’t more and more enamoured with Kurt with each passing second.

He didn’t do much during the day, using his day off to wash his car, catch up on the weeks The Colbert Report and make a lunch that was fit for the gods. By the time his father showed up in his doorway in the late afternoon, he was lounging in his bedroom by the windowsill.

“Hey kiddo.” Sebastian’s father said, leaning casually against the doorframe that Sebastian didn’t remember leaving open.

“Hey dad.” He replied, not even bothering to look up from the book he was currently engrossed in.

“How are you doing, son?”

Sebastian sighed and placed the book down, marking his page before he did so. “What do you want?”

Edward shrugged and took two steps into the room. “Nothing.”

“You only make small talk when you want something, or you want to apologize.”

“Not all the time.” His father protested, hands on his hips.

“Yes all the time, now get on with it. I’m busy.” Sebastian said, moving to pick up his book as if to emphasis his point.

“No need to be rude when I come bearing such great news.” His father practically beamed.

Sebastian considered whether to play along for a moment, deciding it would probably get his father to leave him alone sooner if he did. “You have my attention.” He placed the book down again and adjusted his position so he was fully facing the doorway. Edward crossed the room and sat on the opposite side of the window sill by Sebastian’s feet.

His father smiled impossibly wider. “I was wondering how you’d feel about going back to Dalton.” He drew the sentence out slowly as if he was telling a small child he was going to Disneyland for the holidays.

“You can’t be serious.” Sebastian replied, his expression not one of joy like his father had anticipated, but of confusion and utter disbelief.

“As a heart attack.” His father’s smile did not drop a fraction. Sebastian broke into laughter, he laughed so hard that he cried. His father remained confused, after a moment he continued. “I mean I thought you’d be happy but is it really that important to you?”

“No. No, it’s not that it’s just-“ Sebastian was cut off after another fit of laughter.

“What?”

“I cannot believe you sometimes.”

When it seemed as though Sebastian wasn’t going to offer any further elaboration, Edward continued. “I’ve spoken with your mother and she agrees that you’ve made more progress than we were ever expecting in the month you’ve been at that school and that you deserve to finish you’re education at Dalton after all.”

“Dad, graduation is in two months.”

“Exactly! Plus, you’re not sneaking out as much or coming home drunk and you seem, dare I say it, happier.”

“How do you know I just haven’t got really really good at sneaking out?”

“Son, there hasn’t been one time where you could crawl back through that window of yours without waking up the whole damn house. Or Cas, at least, who then wakes up the whole house.” Cas looked up from his spot at the foot of Sebastian’s bed, his ears tilted forward at the sound of his name.

Sebastian leaned down to pet him, smiling fondly but returning to deadpan when he leaned back up to reply to his father. “Whatever, you can’t just mess around with my life like that. It’s not fair.”

Edward paused for a moment, looking his son up and down as if trying to read into his very soul. Sebastian flinched under his gaze, sitting impossibly straighter against the window in an attempt to shut his father out. Though that only made him more transparent because it was obvious he was trying to hide something.

“I know what this is really about.” Edward said, tapping his own nose as if he was in on the secret.

“What? No you don’t. It’s not about anything.” Sebastian defended, huffing and turning his gaze to the large garden outside his window.

“Does this have something to do with that boy?” His father said in a condescending tone.

“What boy? Blaine? Dad, come on that’s just insulting.” Sebastian said, screwing up his face in offence.

“No. No, that boy I saw you with yesterday at the Lima Bean?”

“Absolutely not.” Sebastian turned to face his father, his mouth dropped open almost in disbelief.

“You’re blushing, Sebby.” Edward teased.

Sebastian knew he wasn’t, not really. Even though he could feel his cheeks heating, he knew his face didn’t colour as easy as say, Kurt’s did. _No, stop thinking about Kurt._ “It’s nothing, he’s a- friend. That’s all.” Sebastian muttered, trying and failing to hold eye contact.

“It sure looked like that.” Edward pushed.

“Oh please. He hates me.” Sebastian rolled his eyes, trying his hardest to act casual.

“Umhum.”

“Well I most certainly hate him.” That was the most unconvincing lie he’d ever told.

“Ah yes, the way you couldn’t take your eyes off him for one moment really gave that one away.” He teased.

Sebastian bit his lip to prevent himself from getting worked up, that’s what he wanted. So he settled for deflection, “you’re embarrassing yourself.”

“Your schoolgirl crush is the only embarrassing thing here.”

“I don’t have a crush on Kurt.” Nope, _that_ was the most unconvincing lie he’d ever told.

“Kurt, hey. I might invite this Kurt around for dinner, since you seem so taken with him. Get a good chance to interrogate him and find out if he’s worthy of my most precious son. What do you think?”

“I think that he’s got a very annoying and pretentious hobbit of a boyfriend and you should back the hell down.” Sebastian clenched his jaw, willing and praying to every god that his father wouldn’t follow through on such a ridiculous idea.

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you Seb.” Edward winked, nudging Sebastian once more.

“Whatever.” Sebastian was so over this conversation.

“I’ve never once known you to not go after what you want. The unavailable status has never stopped you before, right?” This was the most bizarre pep talk his father had ever attempted to give him. Usually he was all about ‘staying in school’ and how ‘abstinence is good for the soul’. He didn’t understand his angle at all.

“This is different.” Sebastian shrugged, picking at a stray piece of cotton on his shirt.

“So you do have feelings for him?” He pushed.

“That’s not what I said.”

“Would you like me to go get your mother?”

“No!” He hated that his father knew which buttons to push and how hard to get the reaction he wanted. Well, Sebastian did learn from the best.

“Then spill.”

Sebastian huffed loudly. “Leave me alone.”

Edward considered this for a long moment, he stood up, patted Sebastian on the shoulder and walked out of the room, throwing a ‘dinners in half an hour’ over his shoulder. Edward never gave up that easily so Sebastian had a feeling in the very pit of his stomach that his father had a plan, and that he wasn’t going to like said plan.

+

He did not like the plan.

Around two hours later, after the Smythe’s had finished their dinner and Sebastian was back in his room, he received a text from Kurt.

**From Kurt: (9:02pm)** What do I wear tomorrow?

**From Sebastian: (9:03pm)** what does that have to do with me?

**From Kurt: (9:05pm)** Your dad invited me round for dinner tomorrow night?

Sebastian pulled a look of absolute horror at his phone as he tapped out his reply.

**From Sebastian: (9:05pm)** and you accepted?!?!

He thought he might actually throw up the night’s dinner from the rage and horror he felt. He practically ran from his room to the bannister of the staircase and shouted his father’s name where he was sitting with his wife downstairs.

His father called back a moment later, all polite tones and innocence and Sebastian decided that this is the reaction he wanted, it would make matters ten times worse if he tried to talk his father out of it. In fact, he’d probably invite Kurt over for dinner for an entire week just to spite him.

“I am going to fucking end you.” He called.

“Language, boy.” Edward called in return.

Sebastian heard his phone buzz from where he’d left it on his bed, and he turned and walked back into his bedroom, picking it up with a sigh.

**From Kurt: (9:06pm)** I thought it would piss you off so of course I did, silly.

Sebastian didn’t know who he was more pissed at, his father for going behind his back or Kurt for playing along. The fact that they were both doing it to piss him off was absolutely not hilarious.

**From Sebastian: (9:08pm)** you have to cancel right now.

**From Kurt: (9:09pm)** No way. Your father is way frightening and I only spoke to him over the phone.

**From Sebastian: (9:10pm)** how the fuck did he get your number anyway?

**From Kurt: (9:12pm)** Hell if I know. He called my dad’s phone.

**From Sebastian: (9:15pm)** okay. what are we going to do about this?

**From Kurt: (9:18pm)** Not my problem.

**From Sebastian: (9:19pm)** is it so your problem, Kurt

**From Sebastian: (9:22pm)** kurt?

Kurt didn’t reply straight away after that, and in the end his reply was incredibly frustrating and not at all helpful.

**From Kurt: (9:28pm)** I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘Bastian.

**From Kurt: (9:24pm)** In school, I mean. ;)

**From Kurt: (9:24pm)** xx

As Sebastian sat there staring at the last few texts he thought about why he was upset in the first place. Because his father had gone behind his back? Because he didn’t want Kurt to embarrass him in front of his parents? Because he didn’t want his parents to embarrass him in front of Kurt?

Sebastian knew it was a very real possibility that if- no, when Kurt turned up for dinner, his father would interrogate the shit out of Kurt and that whatever thing they’ve got going on that both of them refuse to acknowledge, will very likely never be the same again.

+

Monday morning arrived too quickly and Sebastian considered skipping his classes for the day so he wouldn’t have to drive Kurt over in the evening, but he figured that Kurt would find a way to turn up at his house anyway, so he reluctantly got out of bed to start the day. And if he put any extra effort into his outfit or his morning routine than it was absolutely coincidental.

The day passed quickly, too quickly for Sebastian and his nerves increased. He’d never felt nervous to have someone over for dinner before. But that was probably nobody had ever come over for dinner before.

At lunch, Kurt waited until Blaine had swanned off elsewhere to take a hair gel shower or something equally bizarre before bombarding Sebastian with questions about that evening. They were outside in the courtyard, now their regular hangout during school hours since the weather was getting consistently warmer. Sebastian sat on the top of the bench whilst Kurt opted to use the actual table to get his work done.

They had thankfully managed to escape most of the rest of the group, only Finn and Rachel led on the grass beside their bench, their sides together with their hands entwined. Their eyes were closed and they were sharing earphones so Kurt wasn’t worried about them overhearing.

“Is this outfit okay? I have a change of clothes in my locker if not.” Kurt said, shifting so Sebastian could see him more clearly.

“You look amazing, Kurt.” Sebastian replied without even lifting his gaze.

“You’re not even looking.”  Kurt complained.

“Don’t you think I would have pointed out any issues when I saw you this morning?”

Kurt stammered for a moment so Sebastian looked up.

“Are you sure? I’m not too underdressed?” Kurt worried his bottom lip.

“I’m sure.” Sebastian said with an eye roll, returning his attention to the work that was due next period.

“Overdressed?” Kurt said, placing his hands over Sebastian’s work so he would be forced to pay attention to him. His fingers brushed Sebastian’s.

“You’re fine.” Sebastian replied, trying to keep his voice level.

“Fine isn’t good, Sebastian.” Kurt admonished, withdrawing his hands. He pouted before adding; “You’re driving us straight there, right?”

“Yes.” Sebastian huffed.

“Will I have to make small talk with your parents before dinner?” He sounded genuinely concerned, as if he was planning on scripted the whole evening so he wouldn’t get anything wrong. He wondered if Kurt acted this way when he was meeting anyone’s parents or if this was a special occasion. Knowing Kurt, it was probably nothing new.

“Probably.” The mental image of Kurt trying to keep up with his father’s character earned a chuckle from him. Kurt didn’t seem to notice.

“Are we eating anything fancy?”

“Probably.”

“Will there be dessert?”

“Of the classiest kind.” Sebastian answered with as much enthusiasm as he could find. Which was practically none.

“Am I pissing you off?” There was humour in his tone but also actual concern.

“A little.” Sebastian looked up from his work of which he hadn’t written a single word since they sat down and winked.

“Sorry, I’ve nervous.” Kurt smiled.

“Sucks to be you.” Sebastian shrugged, chuckling in an attempt to disguise his own nerves. He assumed it worked because Kurt returned to doodling on his notebook lazily and the only thing they talked about in class was, for the first time ever, their coursework.

As the bell rang they looked to each other slowly, each swapped awkward smiles. Sebastian got up and silently gestured for Kurt to follow him towards his car, hopefully without running into Blaine. Kurt hadn’t explicitly told him but he knew it was getting more difficult for him to explain to Blaine the amount of time he was now spending with Sebastian instead of him. Well, when Blaine actually noticed.

They reached the parking lot and Sebastian climbed into his car, briefly considering locking Kurt out for the sheer thrills but decided he’d save that for a later date. Perhaps when it was raining.

Once he had ensured that Kurt was securely buckled up, he pulled out of the space and they began to drive with the low tones of the radio in the background. The journey followed the same quickened pace as the rest of the day, filled with more idle small talk and a new game they invited which involved making up the conversation or scenario of the people in the car next to them at the traffic lights.

With Kurt’s bitchy comments and ability to read people and Sebastian’s god awful inappropriate, sarcastic and filthy mind, they made the perfect team. By the third set of lights they were now laughing loudly and genuinely and had been imitating the conversation of the couple in the Renault on the right which ended up involving a discussion about which sex toys to buy each other for their anniversary, but couldn’t seem to find one they didn’t already own.

Kurt knew a surprising amount of detail about sex toys. Sebastian filed that information away for further use as blackmail or revenge. Or maybe even for future Christmas gift ideas.

Soon after, Sebastian pulled up to the driveway and switched off the engine, and they fell into silence as the nervous tension that had dissipated with the traffic light game returned as they both looked up towards the house, the only sound was the engine ticking as it cooled.

“So, this is it.” Sebastian announced as if he was presenting the main prize on a game show.

“It’s gorgeous.” Kurt breathed.

Sebastian laughed nervously.

“Really it is.”

Sebastian shrugged offhandedly in an attempt to hide his nerves, worried that Kurt’s opinion of the house was really the make or break factor of the evening. “It’s just a house really.”

“Just a house.” Kurt scoffed. “You are never coming over to my place.”

“I’m sure your house is as perfectly charming as you.” Sebastian rolled his eyes.

Kurt blushed.

“Come on, let’s get this over with.  You’ve still got to see the inside, did I tell you my mom is an interior designer?” Sebastian said, tapping his hand against the steering wheel before abruptly exiting the car before Kurt had a chance to respond.

Kurt took a deep breath and then followed. He couldn’t shift the feeling that he was ‘meeting the parents’, complete with all the dread, anticipation and desperation for approval that accompanied it.

Sebastian led Kurt up the gravelled driveway and entered the house without knocking, holding the large, white door open and telling Kurt to wipe his common feet at on the mat first. He called out to his parents that they were home and heard movement in the room over to the left. Kurt’s eyes travelled slowly around every inch of the space in front of him, of which there was a lot, his mouth slightly open in awe.

Sebastian shuffled awkwardly next to him, wanting to make a witty comment but not wanting to invite criticism and shatter the mood that was for once quite harmonious.

Kurt was still admiring the detailed carvings of the staircase and the complexly beautiful chandelier when Sebastian saw his parent’s enter the hallway from the left where the kitchen was. Sebastian stiffened unconsciously, placing his hand on Kurt’s shoulder to get his attention and ignoring his father’s wink at the action.

He turned Kurt towards his parents who were now a few steps away. Kurt looked like he had swallowed a bunch of thumb tacks and they were stuck in his throat so Sebastian squeezed his shoulder reassuringly before letting go.

“Kurt, you’ve already met my father, Edward Smythe.” He gestured between the two who shook hands again. “And this is my mom, Amelié. Mom, this is Kurt Hummel.” Sebastian added as she leaned in to kiss Kurt on each cheek. “It’s a French thing.”

Kurt smiled at her. “You have a beautiful name. And such a beautiful house, you must be so proud to live here.”

“Ah, merci.” Amelié smiled warmly.

“Dinner is in half an hour, son. Want to give Kurt a tour of the house until then?” Edward asked.

“Sure.” Sebastian replied, looking down at his shoes. “Follow me, Kurt.”


	10. Meet The Smythes

A while later they found themselves sat in Sebastian’s room, Kurt wandering the edges of the space, reading the title of every single book or film he owned, it would seem, despite the fact that Sebastian had expressly told him not to touch anything. Sebastian sat on the edge of his bed, trying his hardest to pretend he wasn’t bothered that Kurt had yet to say a word.

He’d been silent throughout pretty much the whole tour, though Sebastian knew he was in love with the house from the moment he set foot through the front door. His eyes practically sparkled when Sebastian showed him the music room, the high ceilings granting perfect acoustics, a grand piano in one corner, a stack of guitars in another and sheets upon sheets of music that had been composed by Sebastian himself all over the place. Though he didn’t point out that part.

Cas even bounded up to say hello, nuzzling Kurt as he knelt down to pet him and even though they’d met before, it was still unusual for the dog to be so friendly towards someone in his own home. He chalked it down to Kurt just naturally smelling of dog, and then chuckled to himself at the thought.

Sebastian had saved his room until last, partly because he was hoping his father would fetch them before he actually had to show him and partly because he wanted to spend the rest of the night with Kurt in there. It was an internal battle with no clear emotion winning.

Kurt finally stopped pacing and span on his heel to face Sebastian. “I must say, I am impressed.  I didn’t think that someone so crude and obnoxious could have such a well-rounded taste in literature.”

“Did it take you this long to come up with that back handed insult? Because if it did, I truly feel sorry for you.”

Kurt crinkled his face in response and crossed the room to sit by Sebastian on the edge of the bed, leaving only an arms distance in-between them.

“But thanks, anyway. Reading is kind of a huge passion of mine.” Sebastian said, almost shyly.

“No kidding.” Kurt replied, drawing his eyes from Sebastian to glance over the piles of books, some on shelves and some on the floor covering any available space. “When you first brought me in here, I thought it was the library.”

Sebastian laughed loudly. “No, no that’s down the hall.” Kurt gaped. “This is my own collection.”

“And you’ve read everything in here?” Kurt asked with wide eyes, trying to mentally calculate the number of books there must be.

“Almost, the ones over there are on my to-read list.” He smiled, pointing towards his desk.

Kurt shook his head in disbelief, Sebastian was about to question him when he heard his father calling them from downstairs.

“Dinner is served.” He said, bouncing up and gesturing for Kurt to leave the room first. It took the strongest level of will power to resist smacking his ass as he walked by.

They entered the dining room as Amelié and Edward were setting down the various plates of food. Sebastian could tell Kurt felt just a little overwhelmed as he sat down by Sebastian and opposite his parents. The room was large and grand, an homage to a traditional style, but was still light and modern. The table was large, there was enough room for around ten people, and there were plates with various foods everywhere. Amelié really did like to cook.

Kurt straightened all of the cutlery on the table whilst he waited for further instruction. Amelié smiled kindly at Kurt and gestured for him to help himself. Sebastian didn’t hesitate and leaned over Kurt to grab a helping of chicken, it looked like.

They ate in silence for a few moments before Edward interrupted; “I’ve heard so much about you, Kurt. Sebastian talks about you so fondly all the time.” He smiled, holding Kurt’s eyes.

Kurt blushed hard and so did Sebastian, who attempted to kick his father under the table and only ended up hitting Kurt instead.

Kurt flinched but wouldn’t turn to Sebastian, who fumbled a bunch of inaudible words as excuses, and Edward laughed as he watched him dig his way into a deeper hole.

“All good things, don’t worry.” Edward winked.

“Dad.” Sebastian said. “Kurt, I don’t, really. I mean, I talk about school, sometimes but- I-“

Edward seemed to take pity on him for a moment and changed the subject. “So Kurt, what are your plans for after graduation?”

Kurt looked down at his plate, pushing his food around. Sebastian realised then that he didn’t actually know what Kurt was planning to do in the future and he’d never thought to ask - maybe he was going to fly away to Oz with Berry and Blaine to live happily ever after. Sebastian looked at Kurt, listening intently which only had him blush harder.

“Um, well hopefully I’ll be accepted into NYADA in New York to study musical theatre in the fall, um-“

“Kurt that’s incredible, wow. Go you!” Edward enthused. Kurt looked up quickly, confused at seeing no sign of insincerity on Mr Smythe’s face. “Have you had your audition yet?” Edward continued.

Kurt hesitated. “No, not yet it’s at the end of next month.”

“Oh, feeling prepared?” Amelié asked.

“Kind of. I’m not sure, I’m practising nearly every day now, it’s exhausting.”

“You’re clearly very dedicated. I’d love to hear you sing sometime. Feel free to come over and use out music room any time you like, I’m sure Sebastian showed you?” She added. Kurt liked her, she felt warm and kind and Kurt thought for a brief moment of his own mother, wondering how she would feel about how Kurt’s life was turning out.

“Uh yes, he did. Um, thank you.” Kurt stammered.

“Sebastian’s hoping to head off to the Big Apple too, isn’t that right?” Edward said, looking at Sebastian who had remained pretty quiet.

“Uh, yeah. NYU. Or- or Columbia maybe.”

“I had no idea. What are you planning to study?”

“Well, I have decided on my major yet, but literature maybe? Or history.” He shrugged.

“But you hate history.” Kurt objected.

“No, I just hate sitting next to you.” He winked. Kurt rolled his eyes, kicking him back under the table.

They stared at each other then, neither wanting to back down because it was a challenge. They both looked toward Edward when he cleared his throat.

“Tell me about yourself Kurt, how’s family life?” Edward prodded.

“Um, good. It’s great. My Dad and Carol are away in DC this week, he’s a congressman so I don’t get to see him as much as I used to, but he’s happy so I am too. And Finn is always around anyway. My stepbrother, that is.”

“Your father, Burt Hummel? I’ve been following his campaign, fantastic stuff.”

Kurt beamed under the praise and Sebastian felt something he couldn’t name that he didn’t know this, either. He thought he’d been getting to know Kurt since he transferred, but he didn’t even know basic facts about his life.

“How long has Finn been your stepbrother?” Sebastian asked.

“Just over a year now, it’s a long and embarrassing story.”

“Oh, do tell.” Amelié smiled over her glass.

Kurt’s eyes flicked to Sebastian and he looked down at the table. “I’d really rather not.”

“Another time then.” Edward smiled. And Sebastian felt something fuzzy at the mention of a next time. One, because it meant his father seemed to like Kurt enough to invite him back but more importantly because the idea of Kurt coming back messed with Sebastian’s heart in stupid, lovesick ways. “Sebastian, can you pass me the wine, please?”

“Sure, dad.” Sebastian said, still staring at Kurt. Retrieving the wine involved leaning over into Kurt’s personal space, and from the smirk on his dad’s face, he gathered that that might be the point.

Kurt blushed harder as Sebastian’s arm brushed his chest. He pulled back slowly, enjoying the moment. His father accepted the wine with a knowing smirk and Sebastian looked away quickly.

“So Kurt, how did you and Sebastian meet?” Amelié asked.

Kurt and Sebastian shared a sideways glance, Sebastian’s expression a little nervous but mainly composed.

“Um, through a mutual friend, actually. At Dalton. We competed in rival show choirs.”

“Ah of course. What did you think of the Warblers?”

“I love the Warblers, I was one for a short time actually, when they were at their peak.” Kurt joked and Amelié’s face lit up with interest.

“You went to Dalton?” She asked, looking from Kurt to Sebastian.

Kurt blushed a little and shrugged one shoulder. “Only for one semester, during my junior year.”

“Do you prefer McKinley?” Edward asked.

Kurt considered for a moment before answering. “They both had their perks and their cons. Dalton was challenging but also safe and supportive, but McKinley will always be my home, it’s where my family is, and where I’m able to shine the brightest.”

“That’s very sweet, I hope Sebastian can feel the same way one day.” Amelié smiled.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Sure.”

“I hope so too.” Kurt said, keeping his eyes fixed on his glass but smiling from the corner of his mouth.

The table was silent for a moment before Sebastian uttered a quiet “thanks, Kurt.”

“No problem.” He smiled back, he looked to Amelié and Edward. “You really do have a beautiful home and wonderful taste, Mrs Smythe, I have to say I’m extremely jealous.” He added as he looked around the dining room at the tactically placed furnishings and the colour scheme that complements the house perfectly. Kurt had an eye and a passion for interior design too, having designed his and Finn’s basement room and later both his and Finn’s separate rooms after they had moved. In fact he pretty much designed the entire house with Carol’s input, of course.

“Amelié is fine, but thank you darling.” Amelié preened. “It is my job after all.”

“Well I can definitely feel you passion and talent, it’s very cozy here.”

“Oh you’re so sweet, I’ll have to keep you.” She smiled impossibly wider.

“She’ll say that to anyone who compliments her décor, Kurt. Don’t feel too flattered.” Sebastian said.

“Rubbish, Kurt is wonderful, he would be welcome anytime whether he was a fan of my décor or not.” Amelié said, sending Sebastian a warning glare. Sebastian pouted and Kurt chuckled. “Oh you are so adorable together.” She added, leaning her chin on her hand to stare at the pair.

Sebastian choked on his food and Kurt’s eyes practically fell out of his head, and both of them were blushing furiously.

“No- no, we’re not-“ Sebastian fumbled.

“We’re just friends.” Kurt insisted at the same time.

Amelié didn’t look surprised or embarrassed, she only smiled wider. “You’re still adorable together. But you were right, Edward. They do get blushy.” She said, turning to her husband.

“Mom.” Sebastian said. “I’m so sorry about them, Kurt. We can leave now.” He said, moving to stand up.

Edward and Amelié both began to laugh. “Nonsense, sit back down. We haven’t even gotten to dessert yet.”

Sebastian sighed but did as he was asked. 

 

“So, after dessert I was thinking baby photos?” Sebastian’s dad smiled.

Sebastian paled but Kurt laughed.

“Actually dad, Kurt has to leave straight after dinner, curfew and all that.” Sebastian said through gritted teeth, eyeing Kurt sideways as if pleading with him to go along with it.

“Nonsense.”

Kurt looked to Sebastian but he couldn’t read from his look what he would say next, it could go either way. Kurt seemed to be undecided himself.

“Actually… he’s right. Early start from school in the morning, you know.”

“It’s barely past eight, at least stay for another hour. We could play charades.” Amelié enthused.

“Mom.”

“You know what, why not?” Kurt said, smiling wider in response to Amelié’s grin.

“Fantastic.” Amelié enthused, standing up and gathering several plates to take to the kitchen.

“Sebastian, help your mother, please.” Edward asked.

Sebastian looked like he wanted to protest but thought better of it. He stood, walking to his mother’s side to take the heaviest dishes and followed her into the kitchen, shooting his father what he hoped he would understand as a threatening glare.

They are barely through the kitchen door before Amelié span on her heel, a huge grin on her face and practically bouncing on her toes. “Kurt is so wonderful, where did you ever find a boy like that?” She asked.

“Mom.” Sebastian replied, putting the dishes straight into the sink and running the hot tap. “He told you, we met through a mutual friend.”

She gave him a look. “You know that's not what I meant.”

“What? Because he's too good for me?” Sebastian said, there was a hint of bitterness but mainly he spoke as if that's how he felt himself.

“Oh honey no, in fact I think he's perfect for you, he's had such a profound influence on you already, your father and I are so thrilled to meet the man behind the new Sebastian.”

Sebastian huffed, switching off the now bubbling water and grabbing the first dish to wash. “Whatever. He’s barely tolerable.”

“Tolerate is not the word I would use around you two.”

“Okay enough, maman.” He stopped washing the dishes and turned to his mom. “I didn't even want Kurt over for dinner, dad invited him, and second, Kurt has a boyfriend, so let it go.” Sebastian said, resuming washing the dishes with more force than probably necessary.

Amelié bit her lip. “You didn't deny that you're interested, though.”

Sebastian clenched his jaw, he dried his hands and turned his attention to the desserts set on the island. “I'm not talking about this now, the rest of the dishes can wait. We should rescue Kurt from dad before he scares him away for good.”

Dessert is wonderful, and Kurt decides to steer the conversation away from himself and onto the Smythe family, asking all the polite small talk questions that should be expected. It crosses his mind a couple of times how much this feels like a meet-the-parents date, but he shoves that thought aside quickly. He learnt that Sebastian wasn’t always such an asshole, in fact he was a model child and total mommy’s boy. He learnt that Mr. and Mrs. Smythe have been married for twenty four years this summer, and had met whilst they were studying at Stanford, it was a beautifully romantic tale that had Amelié, Edward and Kurt glassy eyed and Sebastian almost puking in his mouth. He also learnt that Sebastian has an older brother whom he is very close to, but he lives on the other coast so he doesn’t see him much. He learnt that Sebastian won every singing competition he entered between the ages of four and eleven until he convinced his parents to stop making him compete in them, but after a few years he missed it so much that he joined show choir.

Kurt really enjoyed hearing about this side of Sebastian, a Sebastian whose parents adored him, who were seriously proud of him and so supportive, a Sebastian who was still sarcastic but with a smile that put you at ease instead of making you feel small because you knew he was joking and wasn’t trying to tear you down. Kurt never could have expected that this Sebastian existed, much less that this was the _real_ Sebastian and it was becoming more and more apparent that the _asshole_ Sebastian was just a front to protect himself. It make his stomach feel odd things that again he pushed deep deep down to be analysed well, never.

To Sebastian's dismay, they did actually end up playing a couple of rounds of charades, with Edward and Amelie on one team and Sebastian and Kurt on the other. It was when Kurt was trying to act out a scene from God-knows-what that Sebastian realised how domestic this was; dinner and games night with the family, threats of baby pictures and interrogations of the prospective other half, it made him a little dizzy.

Kurt pleaded at him with his eyes as he stood in the middle of the Smythe living room on one knee waiting for Sebastian's guess. Sebastian stared down with wide eyes, shrugging one shoulder in defeat.

“Oh come on, Sebastian, this is painfully obvious.” Kurt whined.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “The Proposal?” He guessed.

“Yes!” Kurt said, jumping up and clapping his hands together. Sebastian’s parents clapped along too as Kurt wrote down another tally for their team. He sat down on the couch next to Sebastian as Amelié stood up to take her turn.  He was close, so close that Sebastian could feel the heat radiating from his body, could feel every micro movement.

After another half hour the game ended, Kurt and Sebastian won by two points and they did a celebratory dance in the living room much to the amusement of Sebastian’s parents. They finally decided that it was okay for Kurt to go, even if they did insist he should just stay the night one too many times. Amelié hugged Kurt tightly and welcomed him back anytime for wine tasting or interior decorating advice, and Edward shook his hand firmly and said he was glad that his son had someone like him at school to be a positive influence. Sebastian shoved Kurt through the door before they could embarrass him any further.

The drive back to Kurt’s house was more relaxed than the journey they’d made earlier in the evening, even though they didn’t have anyone to make fun of as they passed by since the roads were so quiet.

Kurt’s phone buzzed, he ignored it. He didn’t even acknowledge it and instead continued to keep telling Sebastian the Glee club shower curtain story. At the next set of lights, his phone buzzed again but he still ignored it and Sebastian still didn’t say anything, taking his eyes off the road to watch Kurt as much as safely possible because his face was completely lit up and animated when he was recounting stories. He felt a pang of jealousy that he had missed so much; of Kurt’s life or the New Directions drama he didn't know but Sebastian was certain he could make anything sound interesting.

They pulled up soon after, the front porch light of Kurt’s house was still on. Both of the seemed reluctant to say goodnight.

“I'm sorry about my parents.” Sebastian said, rubbing at the back of his neck almost bashfully. “They can be a little… intense.”

Kurt smiled adorably. “Don't worry about it, they are wonderful. I had a wonderful evening.”

Sebastian looked up from where he had been staring at the steering wheel. “You did?” He asked, eyes wide.

“I did.” Kurt echoed.

Sebastian grinned before he could stop himself. “Awesome. Me too.”

“And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about how you watch Clueless on repeat when you’re feeling down because you can relate to Cher.”

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “It’s also a really great movie and I told you that in confidence.”

Kurt just smiled in response, his eyes bright and affectionate. Sebastian wanted to kiss Kurt goodnight, it felt like that is what he should do. But he couldn't and he didn't, so he settled for a lingering pat on the shoulder which Kurt turned into a hug. He was so warm and surprisingly strong and Sebastian wanted to stay there forever.

“You're not so bad after all, Smythe.” Kurt teased.

“Touché.” Sebastian smirked.

Kurt's hand lingered on the door handle for a moment, as if he wanted to say more but decided against it. He left the car and walked over to the front door, turning back to wave Sebastian off. As he watched Kurt wave from the porch of his house, he found himself actually excited for what tomorrow might bring.

+

By the next morning, everything had completely fallen apart.

“Hey Kurt.” Sebastian smiled widely once he saw Kurt making his way into school.

Kurt nodded towards him but carried on walking.

“Wait, what did I do?” Sebastian trailed after him, feeling completely confused.

They reached Kurt’s locker and he pulled it open, shoving several books from it and into his bag. Sebastian searched Kurt’s face for an answer but found nothing. Kurt continued to ignore him and buried his face further in his locker.

“Kurt, please. Talk to me.” Sebastian placed his hand across Kurt’s locker, stopping him from reaching for whatever he needed that day. Kurt sighed heavily.

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong, I’m fine. Leave me alone.” Kurt slammed his locker and walked quickly down the hallway, his shoulders slumped. Sebastian struggled to keep up.

“Kurt look, Kurt wait.” He called as he weaved through the constantly filling corridors. Kurt started to walk faster. “I know this isn’t about me. You know this isn’t about me. Something has upset you and you’re taking it out on me.” He called after him, not caring who might hear.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Kurt called over his shoulder, but didn’t slow down.

“I’m not. Kurt. Stop. Kurt, please.” He grabbed him on the shoulder and pulled him so he turned around. Kurt wouldn’t look him in the eye. “Is it Blaine? Did Blaine do something?”

“Leave me alone ‘Bastian.” And there it was, the proof that it wasn’t really Sebastian that Kurt was mad at. Sebastian had cottoned on to the realisation that the closer they’d become the more frequently Kurt had taken to calling him that nickname. And that he only ever said it in an honest, kind and ultimately fond way.

Sebastian took a step back, raising his hands in defeat. “Okay.”

Kurt clenched his jaw as if he was about to say something but instead walked quickly past him and down the hallway, his head down and his satchel clutched close by his side.

It was lunchtime before he saw him again. Kurt hadn’t shown up to their usual table which Sebastian realised was actually incredibly awkward to sit at when Kurt wasn’t there, since he was the only one he ever made an effort to converse with.

He dumped his half eaten lunch and went to search for Kurt, it didn’t take him long to find him. He was sat outside in the courtyard, alone with his head buried behind his notebook. It looked like he was trying his hardest to become invisible. It seemed to have the desired effect on most people, but not on Sebastian.

Sebastian walked over and sat by him, skipping any ‘hellos’ and going straight to pulling the book from his hands. Kurt followed the path of the book, giving Sebastian a harsh stare.

“Are we going to talk about this?”

“Since when do we talk about anything?” Kurt grunted, folding his arms.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean this.” He gestured between them. “It’s- it’s crazy. It’s not us.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Do I have to spell it out?” He continued when Sebastian didn’t reply. “You’re supposed to be the villain. You’re supposed to be the one that makes my life continually miserable and gets some kind of twisted satisfaction from it. But you’re not. And you don’t. I don’t get it.”

“Kurt.”

Kurt cut him off before he could say more and continued. “I mean you’re always there for me and you seem to actually care. You haven’t once been manipulative or cold towards me with regards to Blaine. In fact you’ve probably tried to _save_ us. I just don’t understand why you’re doing this.” Kurt was growing increasingly stressed, he looked as if he might break down in tears at any moment. Sebastian panicked.

“Look Kurt, I’m gonna stop you right there.” Sebastian knew there is something more to this, knows that Kurt has forgiven him, he’s been the most welcoming of all of the New Directions, even though he has the right to be the most hostile. Kurt can try to push him away all he wants, but Sebastian won’t let him. Kurt paled. “Yesterday we were great, perfect even. What changed? Because I know this time I didn’t do anything.”

“I’m supposed to hate you.” Kurt replied, like he desperately wanted to.

“You’re not _supposed_ to do anything.” Sebastian said, sitting down by Kurt on the bench. “I’m not a villain, people aren’t good or bad, this isn’t a story. People are complex and messy and flawed but they can also surprise you. They learn and they grow. And I know that you know that. So what’s going on?”

Kurt sighed and turned away from Sebastian, picking as a stray piece of stitching on his satchel.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Clearly it does.” Sebastian said.

“Look. I don’t wanna talk about it, and if I did, I wouldn’t go to you. Just leave me alone.” Kurt spoke bluntly and coldly, looking Sebastian in the eye to feign more conviction.

Sebastian’s heart dropped like it had been kicked to the floor. He didn’t have a response, Kurt needed time and the only way he would ever open up to Sebastian is if he gave him that. He’d spent a lot of time that morning practicing over and over again what he would say and he had envisioned every possible reaction Kurt would respond with, apart from this. Which is funny, since it was probably the most obvious reaction to begin with.

“You don’t mean that?”

“Try me.” Kurt said as he gathered his things and began walking again.

Sebastian let him go.

+

Sebastian spent the rest of the day and most of the night thinking on how to approach Kurt. He wanted to be there for him without prying, and wanted Kurt to trust him. He lost a lot of sleep.

He waited by Kurt’s locker the next day just before lunch, knowing that Kurt would drop off his books before heading to the cafeteria. He scanned the crowds of students filling the hallways, biting his lip and hoping Kurt would arrive in a better mood. Glee practice wasn’t on the day before so it was difficult to gage what the rest of Kurt’s day had gone like and whether it was Blaine’s fault as he suspected. In fact, he hadn’t seen Blaine at all yesterday.

He spotted Kurt before he spotted him, but knew the moment he did because he rolled his eyes. He didn’t turn around or appear angry though, which Sebastian took as a good sign.

“What do you want ‘Bastian?” Kurt asked as he opened his locker.

“Can a friend not be concerned about a fellow friend?” Sebastian replied.

“No, not when that friend is you.”

Sebastian ignored the dig and continued as planned. “How are you this morning?”

Kurt side-eyed him and shrugged one shoulder.

“Well, that’s an improvement I guess.” He teased. It got a half chuckle from Kurt and Sebastian added another positive to his list. “Are you ready to talk about it yet?” He asked hesitantly.

Kurt tensed his jaw and immediately went defensive.

“Can I at least talk then?” Sebastian asked, he felt nervous and then felt pathetic for feeling nervous.

 Kurt deliberated for a moment. “Well, go on then. You have two minutes.”

Sebastian shifted his weight onto both feet. “Okay, okay. So um.” He scratched at the back of his neck, Kurt tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, pursing his lips. “Shit I had this all planned out.”

“You planned what you were going to say to me?” Kurt gaped.

“Well yeah, I’m not exactly the best with words over here.” Sebastian deadpanned like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Kurt shrugged, agreeing with the statement and nodded for Sebastian to continue. Sebastian huffed out a long breath.

“You just lost thirty seconds.”

“Shit. Kurt- this is, I don’t know. I don’t do this.” Sebastian said, gesturing between the two of them as if it explained everything.

“Do what? Dare I ask?”

“This. Friendship, emotions, feelings. Being honest and sensitive and all that bullshit.”

“Right.” Kurt said, because that much was obvious.

“But I want to. When I’m with you. I want you to trust me and to be honest and open with me, I want you to come to me with your problems, even if I am the problem. I-“ He stopped. None of this was going the way he wanted and he sounded like a total dork. This was already pushing him way past his limits and he’d barely scratched the surface. “This is really hard for me.”

“Oh well boo hoo.”

“Ouch. That was unnecessary.” Sebastian said, taken aback.

“I just can’t listen to this right now. Not from you.” Kurt replied, closing his locker door.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sebastian asked, unable to keep the hurt from his voice.

Kurt sighed. “Nothing. Nothing. It’s not you-“

“’It’s me’.” He air quoted. “I get it, Kurt. Whatever.” Sebastian took a couple of steps back, ready to walk away.

“Sebastian no, you don’t understand.” Kurt said, his eyes pained.

“Then make me understand.” He pleaded.

“It’s complicated.”

“I’ve got all day.”

“Aren’t you late for class?”

“Stop changing the subject.” Sebastian replied, but he was smiling from the corner of his mouth.

Kurt sighed, throwing his head back against the locker behind him. He ran his hands through his hair and chewed on his bottom lip. Sebastian waited, leaning against the lockers as well, but not too close.

“We broke up.” Kurt muttered, so quietly that Sebastian wasn’t sure if he’d actually said anything or if it was just wishful thinking.

“Excuse me?”

“Blaine and I. We- we broke up.” Kurt said, his voice breaking twice as if it was physically painful for him to say the words, maybe it was. Sebastian physically bit down on his tongue to prevent himself from blurting out something really stupid such as _finally_ when Kurt added with a bitter laugh, “well, I broke up with him actually.”

“What?” Sebastian couldn’t hold back his surprise on that, though it didn’t take long for him to conclude that _actually_ that made much more sense. He’d just never imagined Kurt would do it. That Kurt could do it.

Kurt laughed, it was bitter and cold and there was no humour in it.

“Are- are you okay?” Sebastian asked when Kurt still hadn’t said anything more. He didn’t know what to do, it was obvious that Kurt wasn’t okay, he looks almost translucent, he had put concealer over his eyes but Sebastian could still see that they were red and puffy. He thought back to those weeks ago when Kurt had got so defensive when Sebastian had asked and wondered if that was due to Blaine too, and if so, how far back did their problems go, and why didn’t Kurt say anything sooner. He felt way out of his depth and his feelings about the situation were everywhere but nowhere appropriate.

He couldn’t deny that he hadn’t dreamt of this day for months, except that until recently it had been so he could finally get into Blaine’s pants without him whining about it not being right or honest or whatever. In reality, he just felt awful because Kurt was in pain, and he hadn’t seen Blaine, but he would bet any money that he was the epitome of a frowny face emoji too.

Thankfully, Kurt spared the snarky comment and instead opted for a disbelieving glare.

Sebastian sighed and after a moment’s thought he said, “come on, we’re getting out of here.”

“What? Where are we going?” Kurt asked, totally confused.

“Does it matter? Just trust me, okay?” Sebastian said and grabbed Kurt’s hand, pulling him up off the lockers and towards the exit.

Kurt didn’t take much convincing after that to get into the car, Sebastian figured that he really didn’t want to be in school anyway if skipping school with Sebastian was the preferred option. Once they were both settled, Sebastian quickly pulled out of the parking lot and turned right instead of left, the walls of McKinley High growing smaller in the rear view mirror.

“Where are we going?” Kurt asked after a few minutes of driving in silence.

“Do you trust me?” Sebastian asked instead of answering. He glanced sideways at Kurt, smirking, but his voice betrayed his hesitance.

“Yeah, yeah I trust you.” Kurt said after a moment.

Sebastian didn’t know he had stopped breathing until he felt the relief run though him. “Then quit asking.” He smirked, his confidence back. He pressed the gas pedal and accelerated around the next corner.

+

Sebastian finally pulled over after a couple of hours of driving in which Kurt repeatedly asked ‘are we there yet?’ Sebastian would roll his eyes and Kurt would insist he wasn’t asking where they were going, just if they were there yet, and that wasn’t against the rules. Sebastian replied no and carried on driving.

They filled the silence with small talk and petty insults that weren’t even really mean anymore. Kurt felt like he should be on edge or at the very least irritated about being stuck in a car with Sebastian on a day like this, but instead he just felt content, more content than he had all day, and the truth was, he appreciated the distraction. It was so nice to be able to at least somewhat take down the walls he’d built so high after the events of the past couple of days.

He could see Sebastian periodically gaze sideways at Kurt, as if he was worried he would break into a million pieces or disappear or something, Kurt only smiled softly. He was grateful that Sebastian didn’t push him to talk about Blaine for the entire journey, he seemed to easily pick up that Kurt needed some space to gather his thoughts, and that if he wanted, he would tell him in his own time.

They argued about which songs were the worst on the radio until Sebastian plugged in his iPod instead, although that only invited further criticism from Kurt, who seemed to hate everything on the principle that Sebastian liked it _just_ to wind him up. Kurt discovered that Sebastian was kind of adorable when he was defending his music.

He was decidedly less adorable once he realised what Kurt’s game was and then turned the volume up ear splittingly loud until Kurt apologized.

A good while later they stopped at a place somewhere in Ohio that Kurt had never been to before, he had no idea where he was, really. He’d tried to follow the signs but had got lost around twenty minutes in.

“Where are we?” Kurt asked.

“Port Clinton.”

“What? That’s miles away, Sebastian.” Kurt gaped.

He shrugged in response. “Come on, let’s go.” Sebastian said, unclicking his seatbelt and jumping out of the car.

Kurt sighed, hurrying after Sebastian who was walking away without him. “Go where?” He called, halfway to running to catch up.

“Let’s go get something to eat, I know a great place.” Was all he said.

He didn’t say anything else until they reached a shack like restaurant at the end of the promenade. It’s an ice cream shop that is quaint and cute and just on the right side of busy. Sebastian walked straight through the door but Kurt hesitated for a moment.

“You drove us two hours for ice cream?” He called.

He saw Sebastian's shoulders shake with amusement. “It's really good ice cream. Trust me, the only place you wanna be after a break up.”

“How would you know?” Kurt quipped back.

“I know you're going through a rough time right now so I'm going to ignore that you just said that, come on.” He gestured Kurt to step into the shop.

Inside the place it’s cute, classically American, which booths dotted around and a jukebox in the corner. All the staff wore red dresses with white aprons and matching hats. There are tons of flavours of ice cream spread across the large counter and a menu with so much choice that Kurt felt overwhelmed even though he hadn’t begun to read it yet.

“Okay so I highly recommend the salted caramel and toffee, it's to die for.” Sebastian said as they reach the counter.

 

“Come on, let’s take a walk.”

They finished their ice creams and left the shop, walking along the promenade for a while until they found a quiet spot to sit down. They watched the people and the boats go by in silence.

“So.” Kurt cleared his throat. “I don’t really know where to start. The beginning is probably the best place.”

“Oh god, you’re not going to tell me the whole lovesick story of how you met and your first kiss are you?” Sebastian teased.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “No.” He paused. “So as you already know, there have been problems for a while, I’ve known about them, Blaine has known about them, in fact, I’m pretty sure everyone knew.” He laughed self depreciatingly. “But we were trying to make it work. Our biggest problem has always been communication I guess, it was a problem before we were even together which is why it took is so long. Blaine has been… distant, different, like he’s far away. He said it was nothing, that I was the distant one and it was all my fault but-“ He stopped to take a deep breath. “I’m not saying I’m entirely blameless, I have been very preoccupied with NYADA applications and practice for Nationals and finals and cheerio’s practice but that’s nothing new, we’ve always fought to fit each other in and it felt like he stopped trying to do that. I mean, what am I supposed to do with that?

So the other night after you dropped me off, I called him back and we sorta got into an argument. It was probably the biggest fight we’ve had. And we’ve had a lot lately, always about the most ridiculous things. He was especially pissed after he found out I’d been to dinner with your parents and that’s why I ignored his calls.” Kurt laughed bitterly. “Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve had a date?”

Sebastian shook his head.

“It’s been three weeks. I’ve asked him at least a dozen times if he wanted to go to Breadsticks or catch a movie but he just takes a rain check every time. I started to get really paranoid that maybe he _was_ cheating on me after all but-“

“Kurt you know he would never.” Sebastian interjected.

“I know, I know. Anyway, the other night we were both over at Rachel’s house for a musical marathon – which yes, involved singing along, stop pulling that face – and we er, we have matching phone cases so when it buzzed from the table I picked it up, thinking it was mine whilst Blaine was getting the pizza from downstairs, and er- he had a text from Mike. I think I’ve mentioned this before to you.”

Sebastian nodded.

“I didn’t want to pry I really didn’t, I trust Blaine, I do but-“ Kurt choked out a sob, Sebastian didn’t know what to do but settled for reached out to rub Kurt’s back in soft circles. “What I left out if that Blaine had asked Mike whether he should break up with me. Because-“ He cleared his throat. “Because he doesn’t think he’s in love with me anymore.” Kurt sniffled, like every word was glass in his throat. “I felt so sick I- I couldn’t believe, I-“

“Kurt.” Sebastian said softly.

“I’m so pathetic, God.” Kurt said, wiping at his eyes and his nose and sitting up straight. “What must you think of me?”

“I think you’ve had your heart broken, and it’s okay to not be okay.” Sebastian answered, reaching his hand up to wipe away a few fresh tears from Kurt’s eyes.

Kurt giggled, then he started to laugh, full on cheek splitting, belly aching laughing, and Sebastian didn’t know what to do.

“What?” He asked.

Kurt laughed harder. “I just can’t believe my life right now. Do you not realise how senseless this all is? Look at us, Sebastian. Who even are you?”

Sebastian huffed a laugh and shook his head fondly. “That’s the last time I try to cheer you up.”

“And you were doing so well.” Kurt teased.

There was a pause, then, before Sebastian asked hesitantly, “why do I get the feeling that that's not everything. What else?”

Kurt sighed, he stayed silent for a few more moments and Sebastian waited. “It’s Blaine.”

“Yeah I got that.”

“No you don't understand. It's you and it’s me and it’s Blaine. Everything is so fucked up right now.”

“Where is this going, Kurt?”

Kurt threw his head back in frustration because he didn’t know how to word how he felt. He was obviously struggling with this so Sebastian gave him time. He settled on, “I still love him.”

Sebastian clenched his jaw and tried not to get angry. He knew that Kurt loved Blaine, of course he did, he never fell out of love with him. It still hurt to hear. “I know.” He said neutrally. “But?” He prompted.

“You.” Kurt said clearly but not without difficulty, looking up into Sebastian’s eyes.

“Wh- what about me?” Sebastian asked breathlessly, hoping he knew the answer.

 “I’m getting to it.” Sebastian raised his hands in surrender and Kurt rolled his eyes. He took another deep breath and stared at his shoes. “I just- I don’t think I can deal with… you. Right now.” Sebastian furrowed his brow, still no clearer on where Kurt was going with this, but not sure he wanted to know. Kurt sighed again as if working out how to voice whatever internal crisis was currently going on in his mind. Sebastian could be patient, for Kurt. “And my feelings for you. For us, for whatever this is. I just can’t deal with that right now.”

There was a long pause, the air completely still but Sebastian didn’t move an inch for fear of breaking Kurt. “Oh.” He finally said. He had been so focused on his own developing feelings for Kurt and the idea that Kurt is way way too good for him that he never really stopped to think that Kurt might feel the same way. That Kurt could ever feel that way about Sebastian. He didn’t really know what to do with this information.

“Yeah.” Kurt replied, his voice was croaky and tight, Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to look at him. “Look, Sebastian. I-“ Kurt took a deep breath, staring intently at his hands. “I don’t know where I am right now. I just left Blaine. It’s so fresh. You know.” Kurt looked pained at the thought of hurting Sebastian.

“No pressure. I’ll wait for you.” Sebastian said, and he thought it might be the most sincere and honest he’d ever been.

Kurt stared back, wide eyed. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, speechless.

Sebastian huffed a laugh. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.”

Kurt seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.

“I’m s-“

“Don’t, ‘Bastian.” Kurt said suddenly, stepped to face Sebastian and raising his hand to hover a brush away from Sebastian’s chest. He looked like he wanted to place his hand there, to just collapse forward into Sebastian’s arms. But he didn’t. “Just not right now, okay.” He chanced a glance up and the expression Sebastian was met with prevented Sebastian from doing anything other than nodding. “Thank you.” Kurt whispered.

“Let’s just go back to the car.” Sebastian said, reaching out slowly to put his arm around Kurt to guide him down the sideway and back to the parking lot.

The drive back was quiet, both Kurt and Sebastian too preoccupied with their own thoughts to say much. Sebastian let Kurt plug his phone into the stereo so he didn’t have to put up with anymore of Sebastian’s ‘music’ as he air-quoted, and Sebastian suffered through the show tunes and the Beyoncé because he’d been through so much lately he would’ve have felt guilty saying no. Plus, Kurt music taste wasn’t that bad, really.

Kurt ended up falling asleep somewhere between ‘La Vie Boheme’ and ‘For Good’ and Sebastian almost had to pull over for a moment to take a picture but thought better of it. He didn’t look very comfortable, his head gently knocking against the window every time they hit a pot hole, he should have offered him a pillow or something. He would certainly wake up with a crick in his neck, at least. But Sebastian didn’t want to wake him now, this was the most peaceful Sebastian had seen him look in months, no stress or tension on his face. He hoped whatever he was dreaming of was pleasant.

Sebastian was still hesitant to wake Kurt up when they reached his house a few hours later. Kurt had slept the entire way but Sebastian still kept his playlist on. He felt like he was learning something more with each song that played. He had a feeling that most of them had some connection to Blaine, and he turned up his nose at the thought, but then he began to wonder what songs Kurt would add to their playlist, hypothetically, and he smiled.

Reluctantly, he shook Kurt awake, who was actually more adorable sleep ruffled and confused than when he had been lightly snoring against the window. He walked him to the door and after a moments hesitation pulled him into a tight hug.

“Get a good night’s rest, okay.” He said as he squeezed Kurt’s arm.

Kurt smiled and nodded. “Thank you, for today and everything. For being so kind and so patient. I never knew you had it in you.”

“Well what can I say?” Sebastian joked, putting his hands in his pockets.

“G’night Sebastian.”

“Goodnight.” He echoed and walked back to his car.

After spending most of the day with Kurt in the car, Sebastian missed being able to look over in the passenger seat and find him there. He thought they should go on a proper road trip sometime, maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, merry christmas.


	11. Confessions and a Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine has words with Sebastian, Kurt tells Rachel everything and Kurt and Sebastian go on a double date with Finn and Rachel to Breadstix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're having a wonderful holiday season wherever you are, and if you're near where I am, I hope your house doesn't flood.

The next couple of weeks were awkward since Kurt and Blaine were not speaking, despite both of them wanting to remain friends after the break up. The rest of the New Directions didn’t know how to keep up the normalcy with both of them at the same time when they couldn’t even look at each other. Everywhere in school was tense, choir practice, rehearsals, lunch.

Sebastian found this a little ironic since he was certain that most of them had dated each other in so many bizarre and complex combinations that it was a miracle that any of them were still speaking. He figured if they could make it through that, they could fix this pretty soon.

Kurt was still quiet, he wasn’t participating in conversations or rehearsals, he was trying his hardest to become invisible but it was just drawing more attention to him. Sebastian could tell that people were beginning to worry but they didn’t know what to do. Neither did he.

Kurt wasn’t at the Lima Bean the first Saturday after breaking up with Blaine, which was disappointing but not unexpected. Sebastian didn’t stay long that day, but long enough to make sure that Kurt definitely wasn’t turning up.

He did however text Sebastian on Sunday, asking if they could hang out at The Bean that afternoon. Sebastian replied a confirmation quickly, feeling something akin to butterflies in his stomach. They agreed to meet in an hour, although Sebastian set off pretty much straight away, since it wasn’t like he was doing anything else.

He arrived around half an hour later, but Kurt was already there, sat in their usual spot and anxiously chewing his lip. Sebastian tried and failed to hold back a toothy grin as he crossed the space and pulled out the chair opposite Kurt. Kurt startled and looked up at Sebastian in shock, which then turned to embarrassment and then to fondness.

“You’re early.” Kurt remarked playfully.

“As are you.”

Both of them understood the unspoken meaning of them turning up half an hour earlier than agreed, but they didn’t mention it. They didn’t need to, but it comforted both of them to know that whatever this was, both of them felt it and neither of them was running away.

“So, what’s the occasion?”

Kurt didn’t reply immediately, as if debating whether or not to tell the truth. “I regretted ditching you yesterday so I thought I’d make up for it.”

“Is that so?”

“I didn’t have anyone to bitch at all day, it was infuriating.”

“Sorry I couldn’t be of service.”

“I forgive you. But you should probably get me a coffee for good measure, you know.” Kurt teased.

“You were the one who ditched me, I was here at the usual time.” Sebastian argued.

Kurt looked taken aback and properly guilty for the first time and Sebastian felt kind of uneasy. He stood anyway and headed over the counter to order their drinks. He felt Kurt’s eyes on him the whole time. He returned with their regular orders at which Kurt made grabby hands until the cup was firmly in his grasp. They sat for a few moments before either of them spoke.

“So, what’s new in your life?”

“Really?” Sebastian asked.

“Really.” Kurt echoed.

Sebastian huffed out a long breath. “Um, oh. I got the results from our history assignment back, aced it, obviously.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Obviously. You never told me you were going to be studying in New York in the fall.” He blurted out before he could stop himself.

“It never came up.” Sebastian said after a moment, shrugging.

“You didn’t think to mention it anyway?”

“I didn’t think you’d care.”

“Well, I do care.” He paused, trying to disregard the comment and not grow offended, “Columbia, huh? Do you have your acceptance already?”

“I had it before I transferred.”

“That’s impressive, I wish I had that amount of certainty about my future, I haven’t even had my audition for NYADA yet.”

“Oh yeah, when is that?” Sebastian asked with genuine curiosity.

“It’s in a couple of weeks. I’ve been practicing and practicing but then I completely change my mind on the song and I’m back to the beginning again.” He knew he was bordering on ranting but he couldn’t seem to stop.

“You’ve got this, Kurt. I know that whatever song you choose doesn’t really matter, because you’re talented at what you do, and that will shine through no matter what.” Sebastian said as if dishing out such niceties was a regular and expected part of his personality.

“Who are you?” Kurt gawked sarcastically, eyes wide.

“Aren’t we way past that by now? Sure, your style of performance is an… acquired taste, but it’s one I’ve come to love wholeheartedly.” He said, holding his hand flat on his chest to emphasize sincerity.

Kurt blushed and didn’t really know what to say. He couldn’t take Sebastian seriously at all, so he went for deflective sarcasm. “I’m touched. Does that mean you’ll duet with me sometime?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

“In front of the whole Glee club?”

“I think the better question is are you ready for that?” He teased.

“Believe me, I’ve been through much worse in that choir room.” Kurt laughed depreciatively.

“Oh really, that sounds like a story I want to hear about.” Sebastian said, curiosity peaked.

“I’m not sure I want to tell it.”

“Go on, for me.” He pouted.

“How is that supposed to convince me?”

“Sharing is caring.”

Kurt sighed, but he smiled widely and his posture completely changed into story telling mode. “Okay, okay, so one time in my sophomore year I sang _Pink Houses_ dressed like my dad, complete with the cap and the Gillet and the attitude, singing in my best macho man voice. It was awful and I don’t remember it fondly, it was a dark time.” Kurt’s tone was melancholic but his face was open and playful.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“There were some pretty deep rooted issues going on, it’s actually more tragic than it is funny, but I can laugh about it now. I made out with Brittany that week in a desperate attempt to be straight.” He said, waving a hand at the whole thing and its ridiculousness.

“You’re right, that is tragic.”

“Safe to say it didn’t go in my favour. But it actually made me and my dad a lot closer, so I can’t regret it completely.” His smile was warm as he remembered the memory, it made Sebastian feel warm too.

Kurt seemed to realise he’d actually made the mood more reflective and sad than hilarious, so he tried again. “Also in that same year I sang a love song to my _now_ step-brother who at the time I had a huge crush on.”

“Okay, where do I even start with that one?” Sebastian asked, chuckling loudly.

 “Please be kind, I’m trusting you enough to tell you this information. I’m exposing myself for cheap laughs.”

“You honestly had a crush on Finn?” Sebastian gawked.

“I thought it was true love.” Kurt joked.

“I can’t believe this.”

“Well, believe it, I lived it.”

“I still don’t know how I didn’t realise that Finn is your brother. You have to tell me how that came about.”

“I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one afternoon.” Kurt protested.

“Oh come on, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

“Anything?” He prodded.  

“Well, within reason.”

“Alright.” He smirked. “Well, the cliff notes version is that my little crush may have led to me setting up my dad with his mom at teacher parent night, and then they did the rest. Finn was not at all happy about it for a long time, understandably, insults were thrown, tears were shed, but he made up for it at their wedding when _he_ sang a love song to me, Rachel and his mom at the same time. It really feels like we’re actual brothers now, we as much as we could be.”

“That’s a hell of a story.”

“And it’s probably one of the less complicated histories in the Glee club.”

“I miss the simplicity of the Warblers.” Sebastian lamented.

“Nah, they were so boring.”

“I think you’re just used to high amounts of drama.”

“My best friend is Rachel Berry, of course I am.”

Sebastian chuckled. “So, what do you want to know?”

Kurt thought for a moment, he didn’t actually know what he wanted to ask since there wasn’t much about Sebastian that he knew, but he didn’t want to let Sebastian choose, since he’d probably pick the least embarrassing thing he could get away with. “Tell me about your twenty minute relationship.” Kurt asked, his eyes glittering from across the table.

“What?” Sebastian asked, brows furrowed.

“You know, the one you met on the dancefloor at Scandals that you thought might be your true love?” Kurt teased.

Sebastian considered his reaction. “Alright, what do you want to know?”

“I didn’t think it would be that easy. Then again, why am I even surprised that you’d so willingly give up information about your sex life?”

“So, you want to know about the sex? It was-“

“No.” Kurt shouted. “No. I don’t.”

Sebastian laughed like Kurt had reacted perfectly. “Alright. There’s really not much to tell, he was hot, we danced, we kissed, we got wasted, we fucked in the bathroom, the end.”

“Why did I even ask?”  Kurt said, with much less surprise and disgust than he thought possible.

“Are you jealous about my dating history?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call that ‘dating’.” Kurt objected.

“Point taken, but you didn’t answer the question.”

“What would I have to be jealous of?”

“What wouldn’t you have to be jealous of?” Sebastian joked, wiggling his eyebrows and holding out his arms in a ‘look at this’ gesture.

Kurt rolled his eyes, he wondered how they hadn’t got stuck there yet. He voiced that thought out loud and Sebastian laughed loudly. “Your ego is unmatched by anyone I’ve ever met.”

“Can you blame me?”

Kurt pouted in consideration. “No, not really. If I looked like you, I’d probably be up my own ass too.”

Sebastian snorted out a laugh that drew glares from a few surrounding people.

“So, how are your parents?” Kurt asked to change the subject.  

“They are good, my mum is flying over to Paris next week for my aunt’s birthday.”

“Paris, as you do.”

“Maybe I’ll take you sometime.” He said, keeping his tone playful but boarding on flirting and testing the waters.

“Oh yeah? I’m gonna hold you to that.”

He seemed to be flirting back so Sebastian took it up a level. “Would this summer suit you?”

“Are you serious?” Kurt gawked.

“Do you want me to be serious?” He teased.

Kurt sat back in his seat and chewed his lip. “I’ll get back to you. I’m still not totally convinced I could leave the country with you for company, it might ruin Paris for me forever.”

“Oh babe, I’d show you the best time of your life.” He said before he could stop himself, afterwards realising he might sound a little too like the old Sebastian. He held his breath.

“I’ll hold you to that too.” Kurt didn’t lose any of the playfulness in his voice nor the spark in his eye, in fact he seemed to grin wider. Definitely flirting. Sebastian released his breath.

Sebastian told him stories about his time in Paris; like the time when he was eight and got lost in a market and couldn’t find his parents and ended up crying for two hours even after they had found him. He told him about how the French are as terrible drivers as the stereotype implies, and that they do eat snails, it is not a myth and also that they don’t understand what queueing is and it seriously tested the limits of his anger.

Despite all that though, Sebastian told him about how amazing Paris was, how there is so much to do and so much food to try and art to see and that the architecture is so beautiful. Their house in Paris had a view that only disgusting amounts of money could buy, but Sebastian made sure to appreciate it every single morning.  He told Kurt about the time a few years ago before he was at Dalton when he tried to flirt in French with a guy in a bar who had ended up laughing the entire time at his ‘horrible accent’ and ‘appalling pick up lines’. Kurt disagreed with the accent part, as Sebastian demonstrated some of the lines to Kurt and though he spoke beautiful and sounded much better than Kurt ever thought he himself ever could, but the guy was right about the lines, they were awful.

This lead to Sebastian asking Kurt what kind of lines would work on him and then Kurt blushing furiously and teasing that Sebastian would have to work that out for himself. Sebastian wasted no time in trying out a few and Kurt wondered where he even found them and how the fuck he managed to get laid every weekend if that was all he had in his arsenal.

Kurt didn’t bring up Blaine, and neither did Sebastian, though the situation still hung between them like an oppressive weight. Kurt looked fed up and exhausted like he hadn’t slept or eaten in days, and it worried Sebastian to no end. He only hoped his ridiculous jokes and light flirting could take his mind of it for as much time as Kurt would let him in.

They sat there for hours, refilling their drinks twice, until enough time had passed that they began to receive glares from the staff. Sebastian told Kurt to ignore them but Kurt thought they should probably get going.

They walked to their cars - Sebastian had parked next to Kurt’s – and stood silently staring at each other, prolonging the goodbye.

“Wanna maybe come over to my place for a while? We could watch a movie or something.” Kurt asked shyly.

“Sure.” He nodded. “But I’m not watching any chick flicks.”

They ended up watching three chick flicks in a row, two of which are Sebastian’s choice. They ordered a pizza half way through the second movie; The Devil Wears Prada, and it served to reset the physical space between them on the bed that had been steadily diminishing up until that point.

It took much less time the second time around for them to be within brushing distance, their arms lying in the space between them and itching to just reach out. Neither of them did, though both hope the other is thinking it. It got really difficult when they neared the end of the third movie and the couple on screen get their obligatory kiss, prompting both of their minds to wander to what it might be like if they gave in to the extreme amounts of tension that had been building between them.

At the end of the movie Sebastian rubbed at his neck and muttered something about having to leave since they had school the next day, but made no attempt to actually move. They stared at each other, their gazes locked in each other’s eyes with fleeting breaks as they looked down to each other’s lips. They stayed like this until the door downstairs slammed shut and Burt called upstairs to see if anyone was home.

Kurt’s eyes flashed to the doorway and the moment was broken, but both of them were faintly blushing and breathing heavier than they should have been for two people who were not even touching. Kurt laughed and rubbed a hand down his face, standing from the bed and nodding towards the door. Sebastian got up reluctantly and they headed downstairs.

Sebastian protested that he didn’t want to meet Kurt’s father yet, so Kurt asked if Sebastian was afraid of his father and his moment of hesitance in response made Kurt bark out a laugh. Sebastian furiously denied being afraid, instead saying it was only fair that he be prepared like Kurt was and not ambushed. Kurt joked that it sounded an awful lot like they were dating and immediately regretted it once the words had left his mouth. Sebastian only winked for which Kurt was grateful.

Kurt saw Sebastian to the door, successfully avoiding Burt and hugged him tightly goodbye, lingering just a little too long to be simply friendly. He watched Sebastian walk halfway to his car before calling out a thank you for making him feel somewhat functional again. Sebastian turned back and smiled bashfully, saying he’d be there anytime.

By this point Burt had wandered to the door and was watching Sebastian from behind Kurt with a curious and protective stare that to Sebastian simply looked intimidating. Sebastian hurried to the car before Burt could call him back, leaving Kurt to answer all the questions.

+

Sebastian was collecting the last things from his locker at the end of Monday when he saw the unmistakable helmet of gel stride purposefully in his direction. Sebastian slammed his locker in Blaine’s face and braced himself.

 “I’ve got some words for you.” Blaine began.

“Oh yeah? Me too.” Sebastian retorted.

“This is all your fault. You asshole.” Blaine accused, he spoke angrily but his small frame make it comical to Sebastian.

“What is my fault?” He indulged.

“Everything.” Blaine said, gesturing wildly.

“I know I’m a bit of an asshole, but I wouldn’t go that far.” He answered sarcastically.

Blaine rolled his eyes. “I’m talking about _Kurt_. Kurt and I would still be together if it wasn’t for you.”

Sebastian widened his eyes in disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I don’t know what you said to him or what ideas you put in his head but he won’t even _talk_ to me. And I know you have something to do with that what with all the time you’ve been spending together.” Blaine stalked closer with every word but didn’t lower his voice despite the scene he was creating in the hallway.

“Okay, this is ridiculous. First of all, you need to grow up and accept responsibility for your mistakes. You lost Kurt, Blaine, because of _you_.” Sebastian countered.

Blaine opened and closed his mouth several times, raising his chin as if to keep from crying. “We were fine until you showed up here.”

“That’s not what I heard.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Blaine took a step forward.

“It means that you should have worried less about all the time _I_ was spending with Kurt and worried about all the time that _you_ weren’t. I’ve been nothing but a friend to Kurt, and I’ve been there for him when you didn’t even realise there was anything wrong, so take your pathetic associations somewhere else.” Sebastian was so done with this conversation and he turned away from Blaine to walk away.

He made it a few steps before Blaine roughly pulled at Sebastian’s shoulder and punched him hard in the face. Sebastian barely had time to react as he stumbled a few steps backward, his hand flying to his face in shock. Blaine had an _excellent_ right hook. Sebastian took a moment to compose himself, taking in the way Blaine was practically vibrating with rage.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a very angry young man?” Sebastian smirked, never one to resist adding fuel to a fire.

“Don’t talk down to me.” Blaine warned, pointing his finger and practically standing on his tiptoes to regain some of the power he lost on sheer height disadvantage alone.

“Or what?” He challenged.

Blaine balled his hands into fists. “I just showed you what.”

Sebastian was about to reply when he heard Kurt’s voice from behind him, where Blaine’s focus had now shifted. “What’s happening here?”

“Nothing.” Blaine answered, looking at his feet.

Sebastian turned as Kurt reached his side. “Are you okay?” Kurt asked, his face full of concern as he took in the scene before him.  Sebastian was still clutching his face, his cheekbone beginning to redden and bruise, and Blaine was closed off, hands still curled tight and breathing harshly through his nose. Kurt’s hand reached out to rub at Sebastian’s upper arm.

“I’m fine. Blaine is just a little angry, nothing I can’t handle.” Sebastian shrugged.

“Don’t speak for me.” Blaine pointed his finger towards Sebastian.

“I rest my case.” Sebastian said, raising both hands to emphasise his innocence.

Kurt turned sad eyes towards Blaine who still refused to look at Kurt. “Blaine.” He said softly. “We’ve talked about this. This is between you and me. If you’ve got a problem, you come to me. You can still tell me anything.”

Kurt moved towards Blaine, his hand still on Sebastian’s shoulder, he squeezed once before letting go. Blaine’s eyes were still glued to his feet. “I know.” He whispered. “But you’ve been avoiding me.”

“We’ve been giving each other space, like we agreed.” Kurt placed his hand gently on Blaine’s chin and tilted his head up until he was looking at him. “It doesn’t mean we have to stop being friends. If you’re ready to hang out, we can do that.”

Blaine sighed and with it he seemed to completely deflate, all the tension fell from his shoulders as he fell into Kurt’s arms. Sebastian folded his arms and resisted the urge to roll his eyes, shifting his weight onto the other foot. He felt like he was intruding on another one of their moments, which made him both upset and angry since _KurtandBlaine_ weren’t actually together anymore.

Blaine muttered something that Sebastian didn’t hear, then Kurt pulled Blaine back to look at him, his eyes were teary but he was kind of smiling. Kurt whispered a question to which Blaine nodded and then Kurt squeezed Blaine’s shoulder and turned around to face Sebastian.

Blaine hesitated for a moment as he watched Kurt return to Sebastian, he watched the way Sebastian’s face lit up despite the confusion and dread that still lingered there. Blaine laughed somewhat self depreciatively and span on his heel, leaving the two of them alone in the now empty hallway.

“So…” Sebastian started.

“So?”

“Are you two like- back together?” Sebastian asked, that harsh coldness seeping into his voice that reminded them both a little too much of the ‘old’ Sebastian if the way that Kurt flinched was any indication.

Anger flashed across Kurt’s eyes but he seemed to think better of whatever he was about to say because when he spoke it was soft and understanding. “No. We are not. But, we did agree to meet up one day this week and sort this out because it’s getting unbearable.” Kurt folded his arms, closing in on himself.

“You’re telling me.” Sebastian joked.

Kurt laughed, but there was no humour to it. “We’ve made things awkward for everyone, huh?”

“Pretty much.” Sebastian nudged Kurt’s arm so he knew he was only joking. He wanted Kurt to know they could still joke around each other, at each other, even with all the shit going on between them right now. He didn’t want them to lose their playful back and forth, not since it was so quintessentially _KurtandSebastian._

Kurt looked up at Sebastian, his eyes wide and searching Sebastian’s face rapidly, narrowing as they settled across the growing bruise on his cheekbone. “Did- did Blaine hit you?”

Sebastian felt like he should lie, which would be a great idea for a number of reasons, namely to protect Kurt from whatever it is he might feel about it and himself because Sebastian is not the person who usually _takes_ hits and it could seriously damage his reputation. But also he felt like he should protect Blaine because Sebastian understood that he was angry and confused about losing Kurt and he felt helpless and frustrated and Sebastian was a convenient outlet for all of those feelings, given that he was still kind of an asshole most of the time.

In the end though, Sebastian knew it would be a worse idea to lie to Kurt, since it would most likely come back and bit him in the ass at some point, and Sebastian was determined to be as honest and truthful as he could at all times if he could help it.

“Yes, but its fine, he barely grazed me.” He sighed, trying to downplay it instead.

“Sebastian, Blaine boxes regularly and I’ve seen him practice enough to know that he can get in a good hit, even with someone as agile as you.” Kurt argued, reaching up to gently brush his fingers across the swollen area to assess the damage.

Sebastian hissed as Kurt pressed lightly on it, trying to bat Kurt’s hand away. “I’m fine.”

“You need to put ice on it at least, and you’re gonna look like shit tomorrow-“

“Thanks.”

Kurt smirked. “You’re welcome. Come on, let’s go.” He tugged on Sebastian’s arm lightly and they walked towards the parking lot.

+

Kurt was over at Rachel’s house that night so they could practice their duet for this week’s assignment. Kurt had asked Rachel after practice if they could team up, since he felt he hadn’t been spending anywhere near enough time with her in the past few weeks, and he missed singing with her too. He let Rachel pick the song, one of the things she could be trusted with almost all of the time.

They’d run through harmonies a few times and had moved on to incorporating choreography alongside it but it was clear to Rachel that Kurt’s head was elsewhere. She breathed out through her nose and placed her hand softly on Kurt’s arm, startling him out of whatever trance he’d been in.

“Whilst I appreciate being asked to duet this week’s assignment with the only other most talented person in the glee club, I know that something is up with you. You’re not here at all.”

Kurt pulled at his bottom lip and avoided her eyes.

“Is this about Blaine?” She asked softly.

“Of course it’s about Blaine, how could it not be about Blaine. Everything in my life reminds me of him, except now it just reminds me that he’s gone and it’s all my fault and I’m alone and I-“

Rachel sat down by Kurt on the bed and pulled him in for a hug. “I know it feels like that but you’re not alone, okay. Break ups are hard but you’ll make it through, and it is definitely not your fault. So you have to stop blaming yourself.”

“But I pushed him away.”

“From what I’ve heard, it was him who pushed you away.”

Kurt shrugged. “I feel like I didn’t realise we were falling apart until it was already too late. It happened so slowly and suddenly that was it. It was over.”

“I’m so sorry Kurt.” Rachel comforted.

Kurt sighed, deflating. “I just miss him so much.”

Rachel’s face turned sympathetic and she reached for him, pulling him into her side and stroking his hair. He leaned into the touch. “Oh sweetie I know.”

“He’s still my best friend but I can’t. I just can’t talk to him right now.” He mumbled, still not lifting his head.

“He knows that, he’s giving you space.”

“I didn’t want it to end like this.”

Rachel’s hand stilled in his hair, and she pulled him back until he was looking at her. “Nothing is ending, Kurt. It’s the beginning of something new, something better.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.” He laughed depreciatively.

“It will one day, it will get easier.” She soothed, now moving her hand form his hair to his cheek. “This is for the best and- and you’ll find new places and new people to share your heart with and if not well, maybe someday you’ll be able to try with Blaine again.”

Kurt was struck with the shock that his immediate thought was that he wasn’t sure that he wanted that at all. That he wasn’t sure if he wanted a future with Blaine anymore after the way things fell apart between them. And even if circumstances were right, deep in his heart feelings were growing for _someone else_ that were so intense and overwhelming and threatening to take over every inch of him.

For the first time he was confronted with the fact that he saw a future with Sebastian, and that he wanted that. Fluttering thoughts of their lives in New York, maybe they would live together, they would find a coffee shop that wasn’t the Lima Bean and they would spend their weekends in Central Park. Kurt was rendered speechless, they weren’t even together, he had no idea if they would even work as a couple, if that was what Sebastian even wanted. Or if he did want that, if he would be able to do it, given his track record. That was unfair, he thought to himself, but not entirely ungrounded.

Despite all the recent evidence to the contrary; Sebastian’s kind consideration, dinner with his parents, his unabashed honesty – Kurt still couldn’t quite see Sebastian settling down into a domestic bliss with him the way he thought that Blaine would.

He laughed bitterly to himself as he remembered how certain he had been that he would spend forever with Blaine, through the good and the bad, and how it had taken relatively little to tear them apart before they’d even graduated. Kurt had been so preoccupied about how they would navigate a long distance relationship next year that he hadn’t realised they were already slipping away from each other.

There would be no cosy nights in shoebox apartments, no breakfast in bed on a Sunday morning or all night sex because they no longer had to worry about any parents walking in. It still hurt Kurt, a lot, but it was more of a numb resignation now than the unyielding stabbing pain that it used to be. He didn’t know how he felt about that either.

Maybe that wasn’t what he wanted anymore, wasn’t what he needed, and that was okay. Maybe he wanted something different, something with more passion and ferocity, something that excited him in fresh and unpredictable ways, something with a push and pull, an ebb and flow, a rhythm. Something like the feelings that Sebastian ignited in him.

“Kurt?”

Kurt’s head snapped to look at Rachel who was staring back at him with concern. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. What were you saying?” He asked, shaking his head to try and physically remove the thought train from his head.

“I was just saying that if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. So stop worrying so hard.” She smiled, somehow he doubted that was exactly what she had said, but he was grateful for the cliff notes version either way.

“Thanks, Rach.”

Rachel ran her hand down Kurt’s arm and squeezed his wrist before turning to resume practice. They only made it through sixteen bars before Rachel paused again.

“Okay, there’s more. Out with it, otherwise we will never be able to perfect this duet by the end of the week.” She said, her hand on her hip.

“Sorry. I’m okay, I promise. Let’s just keep going.”

“Your head is somewhere else entirely. I just uh-“ Rachel started. Something in the way she held herself with unusual hesitance, biting her lip and almost seeming _scared_ made Kurt certain he was not going to like where this was going.

“You just?” Kurt echoed.

“There is something going on between you and Sebastian, isn’t there?” She blurted out.

Kurt huffed out his breath and flopped down on Rachel’s bed. He closed his eyes and threw his arm over them. She knew.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She continued, lying back with him so their shoulders were touching. “Look, I’m not judging you-“ Kurt cracked an unbelieving eye open. “I’m not, I promise. And whilst I won’t pretend to understand it, I do know that Sebastian is all kinds of different around you, like good different, so whatever the hell it is, it must be serious. And I want you to know that you can talk to me about it, Kurt.”

Kurt moved his arm away from his eyes to tentatively regard Rachel, whose expression seemed to reflect nothing but concern and intrigue. He huffed out a small laugh and rolled onto his side to pull her into a tight hug.

 “I love you, Rachel Berry.” He said, holding her close, he felt her laugh into the crook of his neck.

“I love you too, Kurt Hummel.” She said as she pulled back to look at him.

“How did you know?”

“I’m more observant than you give me credit for.” She paused. “That and also Finn told me that you invited him over the other day and you spent ‘all evening together in your room with the door closed’.” Rachel said, trying and failing to impersonate Finn.

“Okay, first of all, that impression was insulting even to me, and second, it wasn’t like that.”

“But it wasn’t _not_ like that.” She insisted.

“We were just hanging out.”

“Since when did you ‘just hang out’ with Sebastian?” She challenged.

Kurt pouted. “I see your point.”

They were silent for a moment, Kurt wanting to spill his every thought now that he didn’t have to worry about Rachel finding out, or worse, biting his head off with fierce disapproval, since she already knew. Part of him was shocked that since he thought he’d kept those feelings pretty tight under wraps, especially when the rest of the glee club where around, but then the other part of him was just relieved, of course Rachel knew, she was more observant than anyone really gave her credit for and she was his best friend after all.

“So, do you wanna talk about it?” Rachel asked with a teasing prod.

“Yes, so much.” Kurt breathed.

“But?”

“But I don’t know how to word any of this, it’s crazy. I don’t even understand it myself.”

“That’s why I’m here to help you work through it.” She smiled, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back against the headboard with her. “Come on, take out, ice cream and a long overdue heart to heart?” She asked.

“You know me so well.”

Rachel pinched his cheek. “Of course I do.”

Once the food had arrived and Kurt had had some time to gather his thoughts, he turned to Rachel and began to explain everything that had been happening between himself and Sebastian over the past couple of months – a few details spared and white lies told since he figured it would just overcomplicate things that Rachel would probably just misunderstand anyway – whilst she struggled to stay silent but eventually managed to listen to almost the whole story without making any judgments or asking any questions.

Her face went through every expression that Kurt could name, he watched vigilantly for anything similar to disappointment or disgust, and was relieved when he only saw understanding, compassion and even amusement at one point during the story – he was pretty certain it was when he told her about the porn incident from The Lima Bean and how _Sebastian Smythe_ had been so embarrassed that he hid in the bathroom for ten minutes.

Talking out loud about everything was surprisingly therapeutic for Kurt, it clarified a lot of his feelings and prompted him to explore some further, and made the whole thing seem real. He had forgotten how good it felt to confide in his best friend. Though Rachel’s unpredictable reactions still concerned him.

He had no idea how long he talked for, but Rachel just kept on listening. Rachel breathed out slowly when Kurt finished. “Wow, Kurt. I had no idea.”

Kurt shrugged.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know what to say, I couldn’t tell anyone. Don’t tell me you would have been anything less than furious if I had told you a few weeks ago that I got pissed in a motel room with Sebastian and then flirted with him. You would’ve gone on a warpath and kicked us both out of the Glee club.” He left out the part about them almost kissing.

Rachel took offense to the accusation but agreed that it was exactly how she would have reacted. “I still feel so awful that you’ve gone through all this alone.”

“It’s hardly torture.”

Rachel quirked an eyebrow.

“I know, I can’t believe I’m saying it either, but spending time with Sebastian… is actually one of my favourite parts of the day.”

Rachel looked at him but he couldn’t read what she was thinking. He hoped it wasn’t pity, he really didn’t need pity from anyone about having confused, unexpected and increasingly intense feelings for Sebastian.

“Does he know how you feel?” Rachel asked quietly.

Kurt was surprised by her question, he was surprised by her whole reaction, honestly. “I- I don’t know. I mean, I think so but we haven’t talked about it, not really. We’ve hinted but-“ Kurt paused and started laughing fondly. “You know what the funniest thing about all of this is?” Rachel shook her head. “Sebastian. He’s nothing like I thought he was. He still makes more innuendos and gives more details about his sex life more than any person needs to know but, he’s also sensitive and smart and very considerate. Like when I had dinner with his parents, I’ve never seen Sebastian so- nervous. It was incredible, it’s like I’ve seen this whole other side to him that I never thought could exist. And. And I really really like it.” Kurt choked a little at the end and when he caught Rachel’s eye he thought she might just be a little moved. “God I’m such a sap.” Kurt laughed, shaking his head.

“You are. But it’s not a bad thing by any means.” Rachel smiled. “I just, I can’t wrap my head around any of this. I’m still not quite sure I believe you, I’ll have to see it for myself.”

“Well, seeing is believing.” Kurt added.

“So Sebastian really likes you then?”

“I think so? It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? The asshole that almost blinded my ex-boyfriend after months of trying to steal him from me, tried to sabotage regionals by photo-shopping the most unflattering nudes of your boyfriend and proudly flaunted that he hasn’t ever had a relationship longer than twenty minutes in the bathroom of a seedy gay bar has a blushy, pathetic crush on me.”

“It sounds absurd.”

“Maybe this is all a really vivid fever dream.” Kurt mused.

Rachel broke into laughter and soon after Kurt followed, then they were both laughing uncontrollably. When they fell into silence, Kurt sighed, the reality hitting him once more.

“I’m just so confused.”

Rachel bit her lip. “I know.”

“What do I do, Rach?”

“Only you can answer that.” She smiled sadly. “But I think I know how to help. I kinda owe you after everything you’ve done for me.”

“What do you have in mind?” Kurt asked hesitantly.

“A double date.” Rachel beamed.

“Are you kidding? You’re not kidding.”

“Come on, it will be a fun night out.” She encouraged.

“For who?”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Unlimited breadsticks.”

Kurt chuckled but ended up reluctantly agreeing to the double date, despite Rachel insisting on planning everything which usually went pretty well: i.e. _The Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza_ from Rachel’s perspective or absolutely terribly: i.e. _The Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza_ from Kurt’s perspective. Though Kurt made her pinky promise not to interrogate Sebastian about his past, his motivations or his feelings for Kurt. She agreed even more reluctantly.

Although now they had to get Sebastian on board without him realising what exactly he was signing himself up for.

+

Sebastian immediately knew something was up by the way Kurt approached him at the lockers the next morning, all warm smiles and hesitance, it was obvious he was building up to ask something.

“Hey you.”

“Good morning.”  Sebastian smiled, happy to go along with whatever this was for the moment. “You’re in a good mood.”

“Is there a reason I shouldn’t be?” Kurt shrugged.

Sebastian screwed up his lips. “No, I’m very glad to see it back, actually.”

Kurt rolled his eyes fondly. “And how are you?”

“I’m okay, the swelling has finally started to go down, and people have stopped staring so much.” Sebastian said, gesturing to his face.

“Does it still hurt if I prod it?” Kurt teased, reaching his hand up to touch Sebastian’s face in what was undeniably a caress. Sebastian flinched a little at the small ache, but let Kurt’s hand rest there anyway.

“Only a little.” He joked back.

They stared at each other, grinning like dorks until eventually Kurt dropped his hand and shifted somewhat uncomfortably.

“What is it?” Sebastian asked.

“Huh?” Kurt replied, his mouth falling open.

“It’s blindingly obvious you want to ask me something. I mean, I know I’m hot stuff and all but you don’t have to be nervous.” He teased, a flirtatious edge to his tone in an effort to fluster Kurt, though he didn’t realise just how much his words would bother him until he saw the furious blush appear on his cheekbones and travel down his neck, disappearing under his shirt.

Kurt laughed uneasily. “It’s nothing.”

“So there is something?”

Kurt sighed. “Yes. Okay, Rachel wants to know if you’ll come to Breadstix tomorrow night with Finn and Rachel and me.”

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. “Are you- are you asking me out on a date, Kurt Hummel?”

Kurt blushed impossibly harder. “No. Absolutely not. Besides it was Rachel’s idea, I had nothing to do with it.”

“Okay.” He chuckled.

“Okay?”

“Okay, yes, I’ll go.”

Kurt looked so relieved and Sebastian wondered how he could ever doubt that Sebastian would say yes.

“So tomorrow at eight? I’ll pick you up?” Kurt asked.

“It’s a date.” Sebastian added, he couldn’t resist. It was totally worth it for the way Kurt gawked at him and smacked his arm.

+

Sebastian would forever deny the amount of time which it took for him to choose an outfit for his double date. He wanted to impress Kurt, but considering Kurt’s consistent vocal objections to most of the things which he wore, the task was proving more difficult than he wished.

He went through at least a dozen outfit changes, near pulling his hair out before deciding on a neglected light blue button down and a pair of dark tight jeans which he knew made his ass look incredible. With the limited time he still had, he tried to fix the chaos that was his hair and then went to sit on the doorstep until Kurt arrived.

Rachel and Finn were already in the foyer of Breadstix when Kurt and Sebastian arrived, they each greeted Kurt with a hug but seemed unsure of how to greet Sebastian. Finn settled on a handshake and a pat on the back and Rachel ended up loosely hugging Sebastian then fumbling furiously afterwards, but it served to break the tension nonetheless.

They were lead to a booth by an over-friendly waitress with vibrant wavy red hair. They settle quickly, with Kurt sat next to Sebastian with Rachel opposite and Finn by her side. They wasted no time in ordering a basket of breadsticks for the table before they had even opened their menus.

Sebastian asked what they recommended and Kurt told him that their pizzas were excellent and most of the pastas were okay, Finn enthused about the burgers, in particular the Gut Buster Extreme, at which Sebastian turned up his nose and asked Rachel what she was getting. Rachel explained in more words than really necessary that as a vegan she was pretty limited here so she’d probably just get a salad or something.

Sebastian eventually settled on a cheeseburger because whilst the Gut Buster Extreme sounded incredibly sickening, he kind of craved a burger now. Kurt asked Sebastian how he never been to Breadstix before and he made a comment about how his family were too rich to frequent the place, which made Rachel clench her jaw and Kurt narrow his eyes until Sebastian clarified that he was joking, and that he didn’t actually know why.

“So, Sebastian.” Rachel began as they waited for their food, turning her attention to the man in question and flicking her hair over her shoulder, Kurt sent her a warning glare which she ignored. “How are you finding McKinley now you’ve had time to settle in?”

“Well, it’s different.” He searched for the right words. “Academically it’s much easier than Dalton, and taking a slushie to the face twice a week is still the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me, and that is saying something, but it’s better than I gave it credit for.”

His honest answer seemed to both surprise and please Rachel, and Kurt thought for a second that maybe Sebastian had just unknowingly passed a step in the _Rachel Berry approval test_.

“That’s good to hear, well, not the slushie part although I suppose it’s kind of like ironic karma for-“

“Rachel.” Kurt forced a smile but Sebastian laughed it off.

“She’s right. I probably deserve to get slushied every day for the rest of my life for all the shit I put you through, and that’s just counting the people sitting at this table.”

“We forgave you for all that a long time ago, ‘Bas.” Kurt muttered and Rachel’s eyes widened at the nickname.

“I know, it doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven myself yet.” The table was growing towards an uncomfortable tension and Sebastian sought to break it before it got too stifling. “Anyway, what is up with Mr Schue’s assignment this week? Is he always like this?”

“Yeah.” The three of them answered simultaneously.

“Especially when we start nearing competition time.” Kurt added. “But he pushes us to where we need to go and I wouldn’t wish for any other coach.”

“You’re so sappy.”  Sebastian teased.

“Whatever, we’ve been through more shit than you realise.”

“Who knew a high school glee club would be so dramatic?”

“I certainly didn’t.” Finn added.

“At least I’ll have a lot of material for stories to write for Broadway when we get to New York.” Kurt joked.

“Always the optimist.” Sebastian said.

Their food arrived soon with extra breadsticks, and the four of them fell into a rhythm of teasing and small talk with gaps of comfortable silence. It was nice. Rachel still broached questions that bordered on interrogation and Kurt tried to intercept them and change the subject before any damage could be done. 

“Do you still talk to Blaine a lot, Sebastian?” She asked, stabbing at her salad mindlessly.

Sebastian side eyed Kurt before he answered. “Um, no. Not really. Or at all. I think him punching me in the face is a pretty clear statement that we aren’t pals anymore.”

“Woah, dude, he punched you in the face?” Finn exclaimed, Rachel looked similarly shocked.

“Yeah, not my finest hour but I was more shocked than you so I didn’t manage to dodge in time.” Sebastian smirked, amused.

“Kurt, why didn’t you say anything?” Finn asked.

“Wasn’t mine to tell.” Kurt shrugged.

“It’s not a big deal guys, Blaine was just angry and he took it out on me. Can you blame him?”

Rachel scrunched up her face but thankfully didn’t say anything.

“He shouldn’t have punched you, it was wrong.” Kurt murmured.

“Thanks Kurt.” Sebastian smiled back.

“You two seem pretty close now then, how did that happen?” Rachel’s gaze flicked between the pair.

Sebastian shrugged and Kurt opened and closer his mouth in lieu of an answer.

“Sometimes these things just happen.” Sebastian said.

“That’s very ominous.” Rachel prodded.

“How does anyone become friends? We got stuck together under unfortunate circumstances and after much bickering and teasing, realised we actually don’t mind each other so much, right Kurt?” Sebastian expanded.

Kurt screwed up his nose as if he didn’t agree at all and Sebastian’s grin faltered. His glanced at Rachel from the corner of his eye and upon noticing that she was observing his reaction like it was another part of the Rachel Berry Approval Test, he decided that now was not the time to embarrass Sebastian by making this thing look one sided. Especially after the conversation he’d had with Rachel the other day.

“Something like that. Though I’m starting to think you actually liked me this entire time.”

Sebastian smirked in that familiar way and Kurt couldn’t even be mad about giving up his upper hand.

“You got me babe.”

Kurt’s face was beet red and he looked anywhere but at Sebastian. When his eyes met Rachel’s he blushed even harder since she was gawking at them with no subtly whatsoever. Finn had a similar look on his face.

“I mean-“ Sebastian started but Kurt rested a hand on his arm to shut him up and stop him from digging himself into an even deeper hole.

“Are you done interrogating Seb?”

Rachel lifted her chin as if she wanted to say no, but when Kurt’s glare became almost threatening, she nodded.

“Good. Now let’s just hang out without an agenda okay?”

Everyone nodded in agreement but nobody knew what to say. A jock in their year walked by wearing a Cleveland Indians baseball jersey, and both Finn and Sebastian tutted in disagreement simultaneously. It turned out that both Sebastian and Finn are major fans of the Cincinnati Reds, which surprisingly and amusingly lead them into a lengthy and genuine conversation between the pair about their performance this season and their expectations for the semi-finals coming up next week.

Rachel took the opportunity to turn to Kurt and firstly apologize for questioning Sebastian so hard when she promised she wouldn’t, which he accepted with a warning for her to not do it again. After which she relayed her shock about how different this Sebastian was, which amused Kurt more than he thought it should have, but it also warmed his heart in funny ways, especially when Rachel commented on how Sebastian had been directing ‘moon eyes’ at Kurt all night. He absolutely did not blush.

They were dragged from their conversation when Finn borderline shouted “dude, are you serious?” slamming his fist on the table.

“Completely.” Sebastian smirked.

Neither Kurt nor Rachel had a clue what was going on, and they shot each other a look full of contemplation for how Sebastian could have changed the mood so dramatically between the pair. It made both of them feel guilty when they turned to Finn and realised he was wearing an ear splitting grin and not a scowl, and they realised they had assumed the worse from Sebastian once more. Old habits die hard.

“I don’t know what to say.” Finn beamed.

“What’s going on?” Rachel asked, hooking her arm into Finn’s.

Finn turned to Rachel with the most adorable look of childlike excitement and disbelief and Kurt had to smile at the moment because his brother was such a giant dork. “Sebastian said I can go with him to the semi-final game next week, he has front row seats, those are like, the best seats you can get, Rachel.” He enthused.

“But you can’t afford that?” Rachel asked.

“Its fine, it’s already been paid for.” Sebastian interjected.

“Are you sure, ‘Bas?” Kurt asked, his eyes wide.

Sebastian turned his smile on Kurt, he was blushing slightly and Kurt realised he looked almost bashful. “Yeah, why not?” 

“Wow, just. That’s amazing.”

Sebastian shrugged as if it was no big deal. Kurt reached over and took Sebastian’s hand from where he was fiddling with a napkin and held it in his own before he really understood what he was doing. Sebastian realised the same moment Kurt did when his grip tightened just a little more, but he didn’t let go, and after a moment he even relaxed his hold and turned his palm so they could properly intertwine their fingers.

They smiled bashfully at each other and Rachel practically squeaked.

“So what were you two talking about?” Sebastian asked.

“Nothing, just Glee club stuff, you know.” Rachel answered before Kurt could saying anything.

Not that he would be able to speak even if he wanted to since his brain had short circuited, not able to think beyond ‘oh my god, we’re actually holding hands’, ‘I’m holding hands with Sebastian Smythe’ and ‘I’m holding hands with Sebastian Smythe _in public_ , and he’s _blushing’_.

“Why did I expect anything else?” Sebastian sighed. “Anyone for dessert?”

Finn enthusiastically agreed and ended up getting a triple chocolate fudge cake with both cream and ice cream, whilst Kurt and Sebastian split profiteroles. It became apparent soon enough that there was an uneven number and they glanced between each other and the last profiterole anxiously, kind of like the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp. Rachel suggested that Sebastian should nudge over the last one with his nose, he threw her a glare but nudged the last one over with his fork anyway. Rachel counted this as another victory in her approval test, but not before she stole the last profiterole for herself whilst Kurt was still staring at Sebastian with too much intensity for someone who simply offered the last piece of dessert to him.

Rachel signalled for the bill since everyone else seemed too preoccupied. “Okay, how do we split this?” She asked, leaning across the table to study the bill.

Sebastian grabbed the paper from her hands. “It’s alright, I got this.”

“’Bastian no, we can’t let you pay for all of this.” Kurt protested.

“Why not? My family are disgustingly rich, it’s the least I can do.”

Kurt still looked uncomfortable but didn’t argue any further. Sebastian smirked smugly, as if having to pay the entire bill was some grand prize. Rachel chuckled.

“Thanks man.” Finn smiled.

Sebastian nodded and threw a bunch of bills onto the table from his wallet. “That should cover it.”

He stood then and offered his hand to help Kurt out of the booth. Kurt rolled his eyes at the gesture but took his hand anyway, again he didn’t let go, and Rachel made a comment that Finn was really in trouble if Sebastian was more chivalrous than him, which made Finn pout and grab Rachel’s coat before she could put it on herself and hold it up for her. She narrowed her eyes at him but relented and let him help her shrug it on.

Sebastian also held the door open or everyone on the way out, still holding Kurt’s hand as they made their way back to their cars.

“Thanks again for the offer.” Finn smiled.

“No problem. I’ll message you the details when I get home. Can I get your number?” Sebastian asked, reaching for his phone.

Finn seemed to only realise in that moment that it wasn’t an empty promise and that Sebastian had in fact invited him to watch a game together. He blindly pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to Sebastian, who typed Finn’s number into his phone then handed it back.

“I’ll text you when I’ve got the okay from my dad. It’ll be no problem.”

“You’re pretty cool, dude.” Finn said, holding his hand out for a fist bump which Sebastian gleefully returned.

“You’re kinda awesome too.” Sebastian smile bashfully.

Finn smiled his half smile and took a step back so Rachel could say her goodbyes.

“Well, it was surprisingly nice to spend time with you, Sebastian. Kurt is right, there is more to you than I first thought. I hope I can learn more about this Sebastian.”

“Um, thank you?”

“Definitely a compliment.” Kurt muttered in Sebastian’s ear. “Just smile and return the favour.”

“Thank you. It’s been nice getting to know you too.” He actually meant it.

Rachel surprised everyone by leaning up on her toes and throwing her arms around Sebastian’s neck in a hug, it was still hesitant, as if she wasn’t expecting it either, but also warm and friendly, and Sebastian returned it willingly.

She pulled away, embarrassed, but Sebastian’s sincere smile set her at ease.

“G’night Kurt, text me later okay.” She gave Kurt a lengthy and strong hug, kissed him on the cheek and walked across the lot with Finn towards their car. “See you tomorrow, Sebastian.”

“Bye.” He waved.

Kurt waited until they were out of sight and in his own car to speak. “Please save any bitchy comments for tomorrow.”

“What? How dare you? I had a lovely night.” Sebastian said defensively.

“You did?” Kurt asked with shock.

“Yeah. Did you not?”

“Of course I did. I just thought it would be hell for you.” Kurt shrugged.

“Gee, thanks Kurt.” Sebastian said a little coldly.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed-“

“No. You shouldn’t.” Sebastian sighed, after a moment he added, “listen, I’ve had a really nice time tonight, Rachel was even kind of tolerable and I mean it when I say that Finn is a cool dude. Let’s not ruin that, yeah?”

“Sure.” Kurt answered, feeling shaking and breathless with the passion of Sebastian’s stare. “I had a really nice time too.”

They fell into silence, Kurt started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot.

“Did Rachel get the information she wanted?” Sebastian asked a few minutes into the drive.

Kurt broke into laughter. “She’s the least subtle person I’ve ever known. It’s hard to tell though, I don’t know what she was looking for, but I think you passed.”

“Oh thank god, now I can sleep easy knowing I have Rachel Berry’s approval.” Sebastian joked.

“It is very important.”

“I honestly didn’t think she’d drop the hostility towards me that quickly.”

“It may or may not have something to do with a conversation we had the other day.” Kurt admitted.

“Oh yeah?” Sebastian prodded.

“I’m not disclosing any details.”

“Maybe I’ll just ask Rachel.”

“She wouldn’t betray my trust like that.” Kurt said with certainty.

“I have blackmail material.” Sebastian countered.

“That would just make you look like an asshole. Is it really worth it?”

“I don’t know, that depends on what you said.” He tried.

“Nice try.” Kurt smirked.

Sebastian threw his head back against the headrest and Kurt laughed. He pulled the car over outside Sebastian’s house.

“Here we are, now get out of my car.” He said with no animosity.

“Rude much?”

Kurt only smiled cheekily in return.

“Alright. Goodnight, Kurt.” Sebastian said.

His eyes flickered between Kurt’s and his lips rapidly. Kurt held his breath when Sebastian leaned in closer. When Sebastian was within brushing distance Kurt closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable. Sebastian paused, his breath brushing across Kurt’s cheek, he muttered something close to ‘fuck it’ and pressed a firm but quick kiss to the corner of Kurt’s mouth. He pulled away but didn’t go far. Kurt still hadn’t opened his eyes, hadn’t said a word.

Sebastian was out of the door and running across the lawn before Kurt could even reply.


End file.
